New Years Resolutions

Well, its that time of year again where we look back at our lives and see where we need or want change. Normally I avoid resolutions like the plague, because I hate being disappointed, especially in myself. This year has been different. 2007 was a record BAD year for me. It started with heart break, turmoil, and drama. Followed by shitty jobs, moving into a FABULOUS living situation that I am still living in with my beloved roommate, but soon following signing the lease, I got laid off. No good...the first 6 months of 2008 were rocky and kinda scary and really hard...

But then, I got this job that I have now, and everything began to fall into place.
I was paying my bills, I was traveling, I found roller derby earlier in the year, and thank god for that because I have made some amazing friends who I cherish, like Shelly, Jessy, Lizz, Heidi, Honey, Machii, Amanda, Kate, Craig, Zara, Beezy, Eva...oh the list goes on and on...
But it was just what I needed in my life to show me that a boring life isn't something Im stuck in, its something I did to myself because I didnt venture out. Im venturing on a daily basis now! There is so much out there to do and you just have to look for it!

So time went on, I was progressing, I was healing, I was finding the happiness within. I finally got over my last relationship, and began to see my ex as the person that he is. I was so stuck on the raw and open person that he WAS when I fell for him...now he is bitter, jaded, and has this chip on his shoulder that he blames on me, his other ex, the gay community, the universe, karma...you name it he blames it. But he refuses to turn his blame inwards, and he will never be able to let any of that go until he realizes that he isnt perfect and he needs to take personal responsibility. But, I could talk to him about that until Im blue in the face, it will make no difference, and its really not my concern anymore. He made his choices, and I had to feel the pain, and now he is feeling pain, and I am making the choice to let him feel it, and NOT be involved. It's for the best...my best.

So Once I let all that go, there was a HUGE weight lifted off my heart. I found happiness...within. So I have been riding high on that ever since.
Then I met Mike. Who I think is probably one of the coolest people I have ever met. He is smart, funny, a little wicked, and so much fun to talk to and hang out with. I hope to spend more time with him. :-)

Let me tell you about September. Holy freaking crap balls, September was a month to end all months!! Okay so it started innocently enough, work, pay bills, etc etc... Then some friends and I decided to have a weekend get away. Kendall, JR, Katie and I went to Kendall's parents house in Palm Springs for a weekend. We had such a relaxing and fun time. We went out to eat, we lounged around, we spent probably 80% of the time we were there, in the pool. It was heaven. So we came home sunday, I went to work Monday...then Tuesday, was my BFF Tim's birthday, and he wanted to go to Disneyland. So Tim and I went to Disneyland, and met up with two of my favorite people in the whole world, Scott and Mike. (side note, Scott and I have known each other for almost 24 years now, and Mike is Scott's Boyfriend of like...5 or 6 years) So we had SO MUCH FUN!!! I loved it.

The VERY NEXT DAY...I went to work...and on the way home, as Im driving up Arneill Rd, I GET BROAD-SIDED BY SOME JACK ASS IN A CONVERTIBLE. Yeah, He was waiting at a green light to turn left and I was going forward...and when the light turned yellow, I continued through the intersection, because I had the right of way, and he hit the gas, and drove his fucking ugly GOLD Chrysler Sebring Convertible into my beautiful little Hyundai Elantra. :-( and totaled her. He hit me just hard enough to rip the axel out of the transmission...thus ending Rikku's 5 year life. So sad.
BUT, I got the insurance pay out, and bought myself a SEXY PIECE OF ASS ON WHEELS...a black 2 door Honda Accord....soooo sexy, especially when I had the windows tinted and all blacked out...she is gorgeous...

Since then, I got a 2 dollar raise, had an excellent Christmas in the way of gifts, I got the iPod touch I wanted, and plenty of fun gift cards, I rediscovered my love of reading this year, and have been reading "Wicked" most recently..and LOVE IT. I actually think I rather like the Wicked Witch of the West, and hate the wizard.

I have like 4 more books on order, and am anxiously waiting for them to be delivered. yay Barnes & Noble .com

All in all, I have been having a fantastic 2nd half of 08!!! So I have decided that 09 is the year I go back to school and follow thru and finish!! This may require that I move, we have to see about financial aid and student loans first...THEN we will know.

Last New Years Eve, my friends Jessica, Raylene, Tim and I decided...this was going to be the year of progress and change...and damned if we didn't do it!

So this New Years, I'm making the resolution to not avoid resolutions.


My Resolutions:
~ To greatly reduce, if not quit smoking all together.
~ To start saving at least $40 a week..by any means necessary.
~ Not to be afraid to get what I want, whether its a tattoo, a shirt, or a house.
~ To stop explaining myself and my decisions...I am my own person, with my own mind, and my own money...and what I do with my life, body, wallet, and spare time, is for me to decide, and I dont owe anyone an explanation.
~ I'm going to travel more, and worry less.


Now Im not sure I will be able to accomplish all of these resolutions, but the fact that Im going to try and Im going to give it 100%...is change enough.
2009 is gonna be another year where I kick fucking ass in my life.
2009's gonna rock.

I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A ROCKIN NEW YEARS EVE AND THAT NEXT YEAR IS FUCKIN RAD!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOUR FACES!!!