October 12, 2011

What would you do?

If you have tried over and over to contact someone who you used to live with...and they never respond... you would give up right? That's what I did. Even though she bounced rent checks, caused me hundreds of dollars in returned check fees, overdraft fees and late charges on utilities, from her irresponsible bill paying habits... I tried to stay friends. I moved out, I told her I couldn't handle living in a situation where the other person I depend on to pay bills isn't keeping up, so I moved out, and got a place by myself (best decision ever btw) EVEN THOUGH SHE LEFT ME WITH A 130 DOLLAR WATER BILL TO PAY.... I tried to be nice, stay friends, keep in touch....for 5 months now... and nothing. No response, no nothing. So I gave her the boot. I deleted her from facebook, stopped all contact. Was that wrong? I mean, I think I did everything I could to maintain a friendship... I guess she didn't care. Which is an absolute shame, we were so close. We moved to San Diego together!! We took a HUGE leap of faith together in changing our lives drastically...and we were there for each other throughout it all. I guess that means nothing. Shame.

Oh well.

October 5, 2011

VIVA LA MUSICA

This is whats currently bringing me musical Joy:


(long list since I havent posted in a while)


Vanessa Carlton: Carousel
I Don't Wanna Be a Bride
Dear California
Where The Streets Have No Name <---bitchin' cover

Michelle Branch: Loud Music

Joe Jonas (who grew up to be SO FUCKING HOT): See No More

Pitbull: Give Me Everything

David Guetta: Night of Your Life (w/ Jennifer Hudson)
Without you (w/ Usher)
Last Dance (w/ Christina Aguilera) <----- killer beat to listen to in the car

Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had
I Was Here

Ashley Tisdale - Crank It Up

Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie Part 2 (Piano version) <--- so good
We Found Love (Feat. Calvin Harris)
Cheers (I'll drink to that)

Britney Spears......(nuff said. Loves me some BritBrit)
He About to Lose Me
Selfish

Selena Gomez - A Year Without Rain

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

Neko Case - I Wish I Was The Moon Tonight

Jojo - Disaster

Angus and Julie Stone - For You

Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All

Charice - Louder

Shontelle - Say Hello to Goodbye

Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything
Gravity

Shannon Curtis - Before the Sun

Glee Cast - Unpretty/I Feel Pretty

Adele - Turning Tables
Someone Like You

Fefe Dobson - Can't Breathe

Catie Curtis - Wise to the Ways

Kris Delmhorst - Yellow Brick Road

Christina Aguilera - Bound to You

He is We - Blame it on the Rain(Acoustic)



START DOWNLOADIN!!!! And let me know what you think??? I would love to get feedback from people about my blog. Im thinking I might start some gossip blogging too...havent decided, it feels a little played out...

Fall begins

What up bitches?

I am sitting at work on this beautiful, overcast, rainy day and am in such a fantastic mood. Sure my job sometimes makes me wish stupidity and ignorance could be painful, but whatever. This weather always puts me in a good mood. Some people are sun children, they thrive in the warm sunlight...I am not that person. I LOVE COLD OVERCAST WEATHER AND GRAY SKIES. I'm sure this is what is responsible for my pleasant demeanor. Either way Im good.

Here is an update, then its on to my ranting.

I met a douche named Joe Castillo. A transplant from Chicago (who needs to go back) and he was very interesting a nice at first, then he became an arrogant selfish control freak, with a ghetto, petty, childish personality. When he asked why I didnt want to be with him, and I told him, he reacted like an ego-destroyed child. It was HILARIOUS. Its always so funny how one minute someone will say "youre handsome and I like you, and I really see things going well with you" and then the second you reject them, their story changes "oh well youre just a fat, ugly crack ass loser." HAHAHAHAHA ignorant people make me laugh. He is such a loser, no wonder he is single and pushin 40 yrs old. HAHAHAHA whatever he can drop dead for all I care. Seriously, I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire.

On to more positive news, I've been talking to this ADORABLE college boy, named Justin. He is so cute you guys, seriously.

I know this seems weird to be bouncing from guy to guy.... the bottom line is that there was one guy in my mind that I thought I would be with. There was no question in my head that he and I would be together, that our love would be so strong that we would move heaven and earth to be together.... sadly that wasn't case. He kinda gave up on us. Not that this is his fault, its not his fault. We were far apart for years, and even now that we are in the same state, we're still 8-9 hours apart, and with his being a college student with no car and my being poor as dirt and not being able to see each other very often, it wore us both down. He wanted to focus on school without having the ache of missing someone he loved, and he probably wanted to find someone else to get his mind off of me. It makes me sad because I still think about him, and miss him, and care very much about him, but I don't hear from him much, and I think that is partly because he is avoiding me to make it easier to get over me. Maybe I'm being a total narcissist, I dunno...either way, all I know is that I love him, I miss him, and I wish things could have been different.

In the mean time I have been trying to casually meet people. I am not determined like I was to find love. Im pretty sure real love only exists for other people. Im thinking my lot in life is to know love, but not as a daily joy. I think i might be destined to be alone. I could be wrong. Im just kinda thinking, Im 31...and only have ONE real relationship under my belt...and he cheated on me....with someone uglier than me, with a MUCH smaller penis ( i saw pictures, I was embarrassed for him) So I dont know. Now that S is out of the picture....I kinda dont care if I find someone special anymore. I mean if I do, great...and I will love him like I've never been hurt before.... but... I dont know I just thought S was it. Probably foolish of me, he is so much younger, I mean would that ever really have worked with my being 12 years older than him? probably not. People told me "you play with 19 yr olds, you don't date them and you CERTAINLY dont fall in love with them. Learn from past mistakes...remember your ex?" But I just followed my gut, which later became my heart I was following. I loved Carlos and he betrayed me. I loved S and he chose to take a different path and leave me. Granted there were some BIG misunderstandings between S and I, I mean I casually dated someone else, he was having his fun too... but lines got crossed and he thought I was playing him...which could not have been further from the truth. I would never do that to him. But he was upset thinking I had, and I wasnt strong enough to fight harder. Maybe it would've been different if I had. I don't know. Im afraid its too late now. S is gorgeous, with a VERY sexy buff little body, and an ass like a Greek god... AND HE LIKES FAT GUYS...he wont be single for long. Some lucky san fran fatty will snatch him up. I worry though, because I know he likes big guy/bears..and I know how bears will treat a little lovely chaser like S...they will string him along, use him, toy with him... Im worried they will hurt him. I don't want him to get hurt. I just want him to know the happiness and joy that deserves. The happiness and joy he brought me.

He is a tough cookie, Im sure one way or another he will be ok, i just miss him and love him, and still want to be with him. I can accept that he doesnt want me.... and I can move on, but there will always be a piece of my heart that will forever belong to him. Lord knows its a bigger piece than my ex has. S was special. S is the "one that got away" *sigh*

Anyway I've been just meeting people, going out on dates if they ask and stuff...but nothing serious. This new one, Justin....VERY cute, about to graduate from college, is 21...yes ten years younger, but he is mature and has a good head on his shoulders. He has little to nothing to do with the gay community...which is kind of a turn on actually. Less drama that way. I don't know if we will date...but I guess anything is possible.

....................and then there's Louie. I have been holding out for Louie. He is a good friend who I think could be more but it looks like he wont be moving back to San Diego any time soon...so I guess its not meant to be yet. Oh well. I'm bummed about it cuz I think Louie and I would be unstoppable together... but if we aren't together...like in the same place... we would just be longing for each other which would make us eventually resent each other..and that's not good. At least with Louie...whether we date or not, we are friends forever. That is amazing.



OKAY ON TO THE RANT!!!!!!!!!!


I have said it before I will say it again: SCION TC DRIVERS.... YOU DO NOT DRIVE A FERRARI. GET OVER YOURSELVES. ITS A TWO DOOR FUCKING TOYOTA COROLLA PLEASE STOP THINKING YOU ARE THE SHIT. NO ONE IS IMPRESSED.

You know those awful stereotypes about female drivers? I never bought into that crap since the female drivers I grew up with were THE SHIT. My mother especially. She didnt take no one's crap on the road, she didnt do her hair or makeup behind the wheel, she didnt cause accidents and didnt do all the stupid crap people joke about women doing. My mother was and still is the BOMB DIGGITY behind the wheel...she taught me how to drive a tick shift, how to go offroading and how to control a 4 wheel drive truck, she taught me how to manuever quickly in traffic and on long trips. She is the frickin SHIZZ on the road. I never understood where these stereotypes came from......until I moved to San Diego.
Most of the bullshit, the stupid brainless inconsiderate ASSHOLE moves Ive seen or experienced on the roads of San Diego County....have been caused by female drivers. WTF. Did the girls here just get handed drivers licenses when they turned 16 with no training???? seriously.

Okay lemme ask those of you who drive on freeways frequently something. If you are in the middle lane, and no one is in front of you, nothing in your way, nothing in your lane.... why would you suddenly move to the left lane cutting me off?? WHY I ASK??? Some dumb ass woman did this morning. When I honked at her, that twat had the nerve to flip me off and tap her breaklights like I was tailgaiting her. You fucking whorebag slit, YOU CUT ME OFF ... oh hell to the no, so I went around her and cut her off them SLAMMED on the breaks....she she careened into the median and stopped in the dirt I said to myself "fuck yeah. Maybe next time you'll think twice before you cut someone off then flip them off as if THEY did something wrong."

Here is another tip for driving:

A TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO MOVE WHERE YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT. A TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT MAGICALLY FORCE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU TO MAKE ROOM FOR YOUR DUMB ASS....IT IS AN INDICATION OF WHERE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE. ITS SIMPLY A NOTICE OF *INTENT*
JUST BECAUSE YOU USED YOUR TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT MEAN IT IS OKAY TO ALMOST HIT ME WHEN YOU BLINDLY CHANGED LANES YOU STUPID FUCK. THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN. LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE.

ALSO, IF YOU ARE IN ANY LANE WHERE THERE IS ANOTHER LANE TO YOUR RIGHT....AND EVERYONE IS GOING FASTER THAN YOU...MOVE THE F U C K O V E R T O T H E R I G H T.

I dont understand why this is such a difficult concept.... there are signs on the road that say it... "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT" that means if there is a line of cars behind you, then you are going to mother fucking slow and need to get the hell out of people's way. You might think "oh im saving their lives by forcing them to slow down" NO. YOU ARE BEING AN INCONSIDERATE ASS BAG AND YOU ARE ANGERING PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE KICKED IN THE FACE.


next subject....
Do not buy a car at Carmax unless you have no other option. You will get ripped off, and you wont get your money's worth at all. They are overpriced, and liars.

for example... Carmax has a 2011 Scion XB, standard with CD player, Power locks and doors, power mirrors, cruise control, ipod interface, aux jack, wheel covers and tinted windows.... this 2011 XB has 4000 miles....and they demand $19,998 for this car....*shakes head* Dear Carmax.... you can get a 2011 Scion XB with all those same standard options, at a Scion Dealer, with NO MILES, brand new...for $17000. WITH A WARRANTY THAT IS ACTUALLY WORTH HAVING.
Why the fuck would I pay 3 grand MORE for a car with 4000 miles when I could get a brand new one, un-used....for less????? Are you stupid??? So I began to search their website,,,,

roughly 95% of their inventory is foolishly overpriced. They have a 2003....a TWO THOUSAND THREE....Honda Civic with over 100,000 miles....for 11 grand. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! it better have a new engine and new transmission for that fucking price!!!!! seriously, Carmax must be stupid. I mean truly brainless. But no...in fact they are brilliant because they know that the consumer is the real BOOB in this situation because even over priced, THEY SELL CARS. I fear for humanity sometimes, I really do.

what else.... hmmmm... OH... a lot of cars in the San Diego area have been stolen lately... this confuses me. You fucking losers, get a job and get a car like every one else, don't steal one... come on you are classless and worthless. You bring shame to yourself and your family by being a petty thief. My friend Alayna's car was just stolen this past week...and obviously the thief is not a smart person... not only because he/she steals cars instead of being a decent person and earning things... they stole a 97 Honda Accord....with almost 300,000 miles. HOW FAR DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA GET. I've driven that car...its a pile. It runs...but its not a nice car. WTF. I know honda's are popular and all but shit.

I dont know I hope its not a trend in SD for people to steal cars.

What else is on my mind..... hmmmmmmm

My right hips has been hurting lately....I think its from the driving position in the truck...but there is no changing it as it is a 21 yr old single cab nissan with the longest steering column ever... so Im kinda stuck. I'll deal. Seriously though I look like I'm crammed in. Like a raggity Andy doll crammed into Barbie's dream Jeep. Its not cute.

I dont know I think thats it. I havent done a Viva La Musica Post in a while, i think Ill do that next.