General Observations:

Okay people, obviously there are some things that need to be clarified, and I am just the guy to do it! Please pay attention, because it is important information, that you should take to hear, and put into practice in your life, and the lives of people around you.

I have broken this into categories to make it easy for you. (Dont expect this kind of special treatment on every blog, I dont always have the time, patience, or desire to make anything easy for anyone, because there are only a select few people on this earth who ever make things easier for me.)

Vehicles:

You automobile tells a lot about you, sometimes it shows the world that you are a hard worker, sometimes it tells the world you are a raging douchebag...either way, accept it, embrace it. If you cant then I suggest you trade it in for something more "you" and shut the fuck up about it.

Also, there are some cars that, whether you can afford them or like them or not, you just shouldnt buy. Im not going to preach to you about hybrids, I dont own one, and though there are a few out there that I like, I have no plans on buying a hybrid anytime soon...because they are fucking expensive. BUT I understand and live by the concept that your car should fit you. Here is some insight to what I mean...

The following cars should ONLY be purchased and driven by girls:

Scion tC (if you're an asian male, then you qualify, otherwise, this is a fucking chick car, and its NOT as bad ass as people would like to think, get over yourselves tC owners...)

Toyota Corolla (the XRS is acceptable for men because its bad ass and if youre a girl and have an XRS, you fucking rock.)

Nissan Sentra
Nissan Versa
Honda Fit
Chevy Cobalt
VW Beetle
Ford Fiesta
Mitsubishi Lancer (Evolution model is okay for both genders)
any vehicle painted yellow
Audi TT
Dodge Caliber
Smart Car
Saturn Ion
Mazda Miata
Honda Civic Hybrid
Ford Focus hatchback

If you are a man, and drive any of the above vehicles....well, if you ever wonder why no one respects your vehicular presence, or you get laughed at on the road...thats why.

The following vehicles should never be purchased...at all.

Hummer.

There is no need for any citizen (including our douchebag governator) to drive a Hummer on the streets. terrible gas mileage, no one can properly park them, they are big ugly lumbering drones that ruin the environment, take up too much gasoline, and give the driver a false sense of strength and security. I actually had one bitch faced housewife say to me... "Careful...I drive a Hummer, I feel nothing, I'll flatten your car like a bug." To which I responded by saying "bitch please, in that giant hunk of shit?? You'd have to catch me first. You cant even see over the dash board well enough to park the damn thing in one parking space, and you think you could catch me?? HA"

This brings up another point, if you cant park it, if you can't see out of it, if you cant basically drive this vehicle daily without help or without pissing people off, YOU SHOULDNT OWN IT. See this is when I wish I could be the dictator of this fair country. I wouldnt rule people's lives in every detail, but there are certain things I wouldnt allow without good reason. For instance... if you are a single mother, with less than 3 kids... YOU DO NOT NEED A SUBURBAN, TAHOE, HUMMER, YUKON, ESCALADE, EXPEDITION, EXCURSION, SEQOIUA, OR ANY OTHER 8 CYLINDER FULL SIZED SUV. Quit fuckin lying.
First of all, unless you are towing a big ass boat, and I mean a BIG ASS BOAT, there is nothing a V8 can do that a V6 can't. Hell Ive seen 4 cylinder toyota pick ups pull some good heavy campers before with no problem. So dont gimme this shit about "oh I need it" no you dont. You dont want a minivan, fine, there are many SUV's that are roomy, economical, reliable, better on gas and better for the environment, as well as better on the patience of those you share the road with because there is nothing more annoying that a 5'2" woman trying to drive a landyacht sized suv in a parking lot with a line of cars behind her waiting for her to get the fuck out of the way.

Men, if you are short or little and buy a BIG TRUCK with BIG TIRES...all you are doing is drawing attention to how small you are. No one is impressed, no one t hinks youre a tough guy or a big man...the whole world looks at you and says "HA that hobbit is trying to make us believe he has a big penis! laugh at him!"
Also, guys, if you spend all kinds of time customizing your car so it is all loud and aggressive... news flash...you've acheived loud... but not aggressive. Its loud and abrasive, loud and obnoxious, loud and annoying.... but not aggressive. Congratulations on fooling yourself, but you havent fooled anybody else. You're fucking irritating, go away.

OH I did see something that, even though I was mildly disgusted, it was still funny...I was driving to work and I was behind this big ass giant Ford truck all lifted and had HUGE exaust pipes and stuff....and it had a sticker in the window that said "This truck eats Chevy's and shits out Pruis'" I couldnt help but laugh because there was a prius next to it. LOL I passed him quickly and left him in the dust (yay Honda Accord Coupe) but still, it was kinda funny.

Okay, so for those of you know think youre all big in the britches about your cars..let me give you some reality for a moment:

Infiniti G35: yes, we know your car is fast. Why is it every G35 I see i s driven by an asshole who has to be ahead of everyone, cut people off, and drive like a dick?

Honda Civic Owners: Its a fucking civic, not a race car...get over it.

Toyota Tacoma owners: Wise choice, good solid truck, but a surfer/college kid/hiker/nature guy driving a tacoma...what a shock... youre not original, quit playing.

Hybrid drivers: OKAY WE GET IT. ITS A HYBRID. STFU ABOUT IT ALREADY. HOORAY FOR YOU. (did you know that when the batteries are no longer usable, they do more damange to the environment in the disposal process than the average car does it its whole functioning life? yeah....suck on that.)

Full Sized Truck/SUV drivers: ....ok, that whole thing about "i have the right of way cuz Im bigger" mentality is fucking stupid. Cuz I dont care if your car is bigger than mine, Im not bowing down to you, Im not moving aside for you, Im not going to just let you cut me off and be okay with it, and Im not going to avoid a collision with you either. I will happily let you hit me, then call my lawyer, and drain for everything I can get, including your inurance company. Try me.

Jaguar drivers: your car company was bought out first by Ford, then by some company in India. Your car is now the equivilant of foreign tech support. Get over yourself.

Lexus owners: its just an over priced Toyota, quit playin.

Acura: WTF happened to Acura? they used to be classy and sexy...now they look like slanty flat toasters from the future....UGLY.

Subaru owners: Enjoy your hiking and nature walks, just don't get granola crumbs on me.

Ford Taurus owners: you bought a Ford Taurus... your opinion now means nothing, because you were too stupid to buy a GOOD car.


And now for the Auto makers: You people have done some great things, but you have also done some really stupid things, and some really UGLY things:

Ugliest Vehicles ever made:
(I encourage you to do a google image search of these cars, to see what Im talking about)

1. 2006 Subaru B9 Tribeca (nevermind the stupid and long name, the front end looks like it has Down's Syndrome)

2. Ford EXP

3. Mercedes Benz R-class. really? a van? an ugly van?

4. Subaru Baja (aka the Brat)

5. Pontiac Aztek

6. Toyota Venza

7. 2009 Acura TL

8. 2009 Nissan Murano

9. 2008 (an newer) Chrysler Sebring

10. 2006 (up to current) Honda Civic. (sorry, i know they are popular but I think they are ugly and the interior is equally as ugly, and I hate the two level instrument panel with the analog tachometer but digital speedometer, its just retarded and the steering wheel is oblong looking and only two spoke, its just GROSS.



This ends the rants on vehicular prowess. I know there are people who couldnt give a shit less about cars, to those people I say...suck it up, stay tuned, there will be more to share tomorrow. Yes, now that I have a job that doesnt relentlessly pound my brain with stupid things relating to work, I have some time toward the end of my shift to write a blog. I will do my best to post daily.


Peace in the Middle East, the Middle West, the Middle North, but not the Middle South....fuck them. LOL

:-)

Guess who's back...

What up yo!

After some time off I have decided to return to my blogging because it makes me happy. I have much to share with you. My opinions are renewed, my tolerance for bullshit has almost completely vanished, and Im living a whole new life. Interested? Want to know more? Stay tuned...

I am also going to be selling my blog ad space. Yes, I am going to be bugging people to click the ads again. After hitting so much opposition from people that I would think wouldve been supprtive, I stopped and look at that, no more money from google. This is simply unacceptable. I am going to be talking to people individually about committing to a once a day visit, where you take 30 seconds out of your day, to help me survive. Its easy, all you do is go to my blog, and click the google ads on my page. Once the new window opens...look at it for like..3 to 5 seconds... then close it. Thats it. No viruses, no spam, no signing up to anything....just click, view, close, and I get paid by google. No gimmicks, no scams... but I need your help people. I need people to click those ads. I know were all busy, i know we have lives and jobs and class and pets and kids and coccaine habits and parties to go to, but all I ask is take 40 seconds out of your day to help me. I might be a friend, I might be a stranger, I might be your long lost relative... would it even matter? Help a fellow human who is struggling out.

Okay, enough of the begging for help... on to the opening of my brain and spilling of its contents: