New Years Resolutions

Well, its that time of year again where we look back at our lives and see where we need or want change. Normally I avoid resolutions like the plague, because I hate being disappointed, especially in myself. This year has been different. 2007 was a record BAD year for me. It started with heart break, turmoil, and drama. Followed by shitty jobs, moving into a FABULOUS living situation that I am still living in with my beloved roommate, but soon following signing the lease, I got laid off. No good...the first 6 months of 2008 were rocky and kinda scary and really hard...

But then, I got this job that I have now, and everything began to fall into place.
I was paying my bills, I was traveling, I found roller derby earlier in the year, and thank god for that because I have made some amazing friends who I cherish, like Shelly, Jessy, Lizz, Heidi, Honey, Machii, Amanda, Kate, Craig, Zara, Beezy, Eva...oh the list goes on and on...
But it was just what I needed in my life to show me that a boring life isn't something Im stuck in, its something I did to myself because I didnt venture out. Im venturing on a daily basis now! There is so much out there to do and you just have to look for it!

So time went on, I was progressing, I was healing, I was finding the happiness within. I finally got over my last relationship, and began to see my ex as the person that he is. I was so stuck on the raw and open person that he WAS when I fell for him...now he is bitter, jaded, and has this chip on his shoulder that he blames on me, his other ex, the gay community, the universe, karma...you name it he blames it. But he refuses to turn his blame inwards, and he will never be able to let any of that go until he realizes that he isnt perfect and he needs to take personal responsibility. But, I could talk to him about that until Im blue in the face, it will make no difference, and its really not my concern anymore. He made his choices, and I had to feel the pain, and now he is feeling pain, and I am making the choice to let him feel it, and NOT be involved. It's for the best...my best.

So Once I let all that go, there was a HUGE weight lifted off my heart. I found happiness...within. So I have been riding high on that ever since.
Then I met Mike. Who I think is probably one of the coolest people I have ever met. He is smart, funny, a little wicked, and so much fun to talk to and hang out with. I hope to spend more time with him. :-)

Let me tell you about September. Holy freaking crap balls, September was a month to end all months!! Okay so it started innocently enough, work, pay bills, etc etc... Then some friends and I decided to have a weekend get away. Kendall, JR, Katie and I went to Kendall's parents house in Palm Springs for a weekend. We had such a relaxing and fun time. We went out to eat, we lounged around, we spent probably 80% of the time we were there, in the pool. It was heaven. So we came home sunday, I went to work Monday...then Tuesday, was my BFF Tim's birthday, and he wanted to go to Disneyland. So Tim and I went to Disneyland, and met up with two of my favorite people in the whole world, Scott and Mike. (side note, Scott and I have known each other for almost 24 years now, and Mike is Scott's Boyfriend of like...5 or 6 years) So we had SO MUCH FUN!!! I loved it.

The VERY NEXT DAY...I went to work...and on the way home, as Im driving up Arneill Rd, I GET BROAD-SIDED BY SOME JACK ASS IN A CONVERTIBLE. Yeah, He was waiting at a green light to turn left and I was going forward...and when the light turned yellow, I continued through the intersection, because I had the right of way, and he hit the gas, and drove his fucking ugly GOLD Chrysler Sebring Convertible into my beautiful little Hyundai Elantra. :-( and totaled her. He hit me just hard enough to rip the axel out of the transmission...thus ending Rikku's 5 year life. So sad.
BUT, I got the insurance pay out, and bought myself a SEXY PIECE OF ASS ON WHEELS...a black 2 door Honda Accord....soooo sexy, especially when I had the windows tinted and all blacked out...she is gorgeous...

Since then, I got a 2 dollar raise, had an excellent Christmas in the way of gifts, I got the iPod touch I wanted, and plenty of fun gift cards, I rediscovered my love of reading this year, and have been reading "Wicked" most recently..and LOVE IT. I actually think I rather like the Wicked Witch of the West, and hate the wizard.

I have like 4 more books on order, and am anxiously waiting for them to be delivered. yay Barnes & Noble .com

All in all, I have been having a fantastic 2nd half of 08!!! So I have decided that 09 is the year I go back to school and follow thru and finish!! This may require that I move, we have to see about financial aid and student loans first...THEN we will know.

Last New Years Eve, my friends Jessica, Raylene, Tim and I decided...this was going to be the year of progress and change...and damned if we didn't do it!

So this New Years, I'm making the resolution to not avoid resolutions.


My Resolutions:
~ To greatly reduce, if not quit smoking all together.
~ To start saving at least $40 a week..by any means necessary.
~ Not to be afraid to get what I want, whether its a tattoo, a shirt, or a house.
~ To stop explaining myself and my decisions...I am my own person, with my own mind, and my own money...and what I do with my life, body, wallet, and spare time, is for me to decide, and I dont owe anyone an explanation.
~ I'm going to travel more, and worry less.


Now Im not sure I will be able to accomplish all of these resolutions, but the fact that Im going to try and Im going to give it 100%...is change enough.
2009 is gonna be another year where I kick fucking ass in my life.
2009's gonna rock.

I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A ROCKIN NEW YEARS EVE AND THAT NEXT YEAR IS FUCKIN RAD!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOUR FACES!!!

Oh Happy Day!

So all that time I spent pushing you all to click those ads...paid off.








So those of you who thought "yeah whatever...." to you I say...


"Boom"



THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS EXTRA MONEY IS HELPING ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! YAY FOR SUCCESS!!!!

Change Happens...regardless of will or desire.

Hello Hello Hello readers.

Much has happened. First and foremost I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season full of love, laughter, and all the good stuff. For those of you who had a holiday full of stress, alcohol, and family drama....welcome to real life. ha.

My holiday was pleasant enough. I did get an awesome gift that I love. My mommy got me an iPod Touch. Its basically an iPhone, with no camera or phone....but it has email, music, video, speaker sound, internet, gps, maps, weather, stocks...all the fun stuff... Im so happy with it. yay.

I also go some wonderful gift cards, pj's, books, and music. OH and Kendall got me tea tree oil hair products. awesome.

I have noticed however, that as I get older, I tend to be more easily amused by trivial material things...and I think it is because I spent most of my 20's convincing myself that all I needed what what it took to survive. Now that I have and a few extras here and there...I want more. It makes me happy. I refuse to become so shallow as to say I want it all...Im not my ex after all...I have no desire to be the number one stunner, or to walk around carrying my ipod, my cell phone, my designer wallet, my over priced ugly sunglasses and my "socal" or other such tacky poser gear...with that look of utter digust while I walk into the bar where I think Im SO much better th an everyone. That is not me.

HOWEVER, I like having some nice material things. Like my iPod. I think the difference between having material things, and being materialistic...if your level of appreciation for the material thing. I have so much use for, and appreciation for my cell phone, my iPod, my car, my computer, my books, my wallet, my (broken and superglued) sunglasses...that I think no matter how much I may accumulate, I will never be materialistic because I will appreciate all that I have, and who gave it to me. My beautiful, funny, talented, and fabulous friend Jessy..a.k.a. Titty Kitty, gave me a beautiful O'Neill wallet for christmas that I love and couldnt have asked for anything better because my shitty old louis vuitton knock off that a former friend gave to me years ago..was cracked and falling apart. This is what I mean, had I not gotten it, I wouldnt either gotten a new one for myself or kept the shitty knockoff that was falling apart. But this gift was not only thoughtful, it was PERFECT... and I appreciate it.

So this morning I had an eye opening moment...I think that I have become bitter toweards people I dont know, for pointless reasons.

Example... Im on the freeway, and I as Im driving to work, I pass a Toyota Camry with a license plate that says "IM SUSYN" and the only thing I can say is "Bitch no one ones gives a fuck who you are."

uhh, wow, the bitterness. Why would that bother me? I was over it by the time I passed her, but still. Weird. OH and there was a car with a sticker that said "I Love my Life" and I wanted to run him off the road. That might be petty jealousy but still. LOL
I like my life too...I am happy, Im talking to a smart, funny, interesting, and VERY sexy guy, I have a decent paying job...well...yeah its ok... so sexy guy, decent job, getting into school next year, amazing friends, amazing family, sexy car, nice apartment, comfy bed, cool clothes, great sense of humor...my belongings are intact, my health is improving... life IS good. But for whatever reason, this guy advertising and proclaiming it on his bumper...was smug and irritating to me. Weird.

OK so I need to go to my lunch break now... so PEACE OUT BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!
the second half of 2008 ROCKED MY FUCKIN SOCKS AND 2009 WILL ONLY GET BETTER!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hugs & Squishes

Andru

Kitteh Fail

hahaha...

KRISSMAS KITTEHZ

LOL



ROTFLMAO

Kittehz

Cuz I dont care how lame it may make me appear...I heart Lolcats...

DoucheBaggery... in its pure and evil form.

The most Evil form is the Douche-Baggarious Wolf...that hides in sheep's clothing.

Its funny that the word Sheep is used, as I so often refer to the religious followers as sheep because they blindly follow whatever they are told...never questioning or bothering to self-educate. Its sad. Lemmings. Sheep.

But THIS....THIS douche bag is a man of the cloth...and he promotes discrimination, hatred, and bigotry. What religion encourages such behavior? I cant think of one....yet this man .... is a representative of the CHRISTIAN RELIGION. If I were a Christian...and I was told that I should believe and live my life with Hate in my heart...I would choose a different religion. I don;t care what your beliefs are, Hatred is Hatred. Its Ugly and Evil.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you... The Douche Bag Wolf in Sheeps clothing...

RICK WARREN


He says that Gay Marriage is no different thank Polygamy, Pedophilia, and Incest. Fuck you Rick Warren. You WILL Burn for your Hatred.

PEOPLE...SPREAD THE WORD....

"ATTENTION RELIGIOUS TYPES....PLEASE TAKE 5 MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE TO LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'MARRIAGE' AND 'MATRAMONY' ...THE 5000 YR TRADITION AS RICK WARREN CALLS IT...IS MATROMONY....MARRIAGE IS A LEGAL UNION....MATROMONY IS A RELIGIOUS UNION...SEPERATE AND EDUCATE..CHURCH AND STATE. YOUR JUST HATE FILLED BIGOTS HIDING BEHIND THE CROSS AS USING IT TO RATIONALIZE YOUR PERSONAL HATRED AND BIGORTY. YOURE COWARDS"




This was emailed to me and I am blogging it for you all:

Courage Campaign

"I'm opposed to redefinition of a 5,000 year definition of marriage. I'm opposed to having a brother and sister being together and calling that marriage. I'm opposed to an older guy marrying a child and calling that marriage. I'm opposed to one guy having multiple wives and calling that marriage." -- Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church, December 15, 2008


Incest. Pedophilia. Polygamy.

When Pastor Rick Warren was asked to clarify this statement -- if he actually equates same-sex marriage with incest, pedophilia and polygamy -- his answer was direct and unequivocal: "Oh, I do."

That didn't stop President-elect Barack Obama from choosing Pastor Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration -- an appalling mistake that will forever tarnish our country's celebration of Obama's historic ascendance to the White House.

While President-elect Obama has chosen to ignore the troubling beliefs of the man who will spiritually usher in his presidency, Californians can not ignore Rick Warren and his Saddleback Church followers, based in Orange County.

We can not ignore Rick Warren's fervent support for Proposition 8 or his mobilization of thousands of evangelical Christians to enshrine discrimination into our state constitution.

Harvey Milk did not ignore John Briggs in 1978, when Briggs sought to pass Proposition 6 -- the infamous "Briggs Initiative" that attempted to ban gay and lesbian teachers, and anyone who supported them, from our California's public schools. Milk challenged Briggs to debates across the state.

And we're not going to ignore Rick Warren. That's why we're asking you to give Pastor Warren a new invitation -- a Courage Campaign invitation to a public debate on same-sex marriage with Reverend Eric Lee, President of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) of Greater Los Angeles.

It's time to challenge Rick Warren to an open, honest debate about same-sex marriage. Click here now to join us, by signing your name to our invitation to Rev. Warren to debate Rev. Eric Lee. On December 24, the Courage Campaign will deliver your signatures to Pastor Warren at the Saddleback Church in Orange County:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/RickWarrenDebate

You may not know Rev. Eric Lee. But you should.

Rev. Eric Lee is a courageous leader on marriage equality in the faith community and in the African American community. Representing the SCLC, founded by the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., Rev. Lee expressed his strong opposition to Prop 8 in October by taking a stand with the Courage Campaign against the Mormon Church's heavy involvement in the Prop 8 campaign.

Now, Rev. Lee is taking a stand again, challenging Pastor Warren to a debate about Prop 8 and same-sex marriage.

Rev. Eric Lee needs your support to challenge Rev. Rick Warren to debate Prop 8 and explain Warren's comparison of same-sex marriage to incest, pedophilia and polygamy. Please sign here -- and ask your friends to gather as many signatures as possible -- before December 24:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/RickWarrenDebate

Thank you for everything you are doing to restore marriage equality and push for progressive change in California.

Rick Jacobs
Chair

P.S. To repeal Prop 8, and change California forever, we need to change the conversation.

You can change the conversation by signing this invitation to Rick Warren and forwarding this message to your friends today. The more signatures we gather, the more likely Rick Warren's views on same-sex marriage will be challenged, this time by another man of faith. DEADLINE: DECEMBER 24:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/RickWarrenDebate

..............

Courage Campaign Issues is part of the Courage Campaign's online organizing network that empowers over 300,000 grassroots and netroots activists to push for progressive change in California.

To power our campaign to repeal Prop 8, please contribute today:

Viva La Musica

This is the music currently flowing from my car speakers, and I highly recommend that you give it a whirl. They are very good.



Jonatha Brook - Because I Told You So
Sinead O'Connor - Angel
Kelly Clarkson - Irvine
Britney Spears - Out From Under
Britney Spears - Unusual You
Britney Spears - Lace & Leather
(yes Britney is on here three times...get over it I like Britney)
Beyonce - Halo
Pizzicato Five - Baby Love Child
Annie Lennox - Little Bird
BMU - You Will Know
Smooth - Anything I Like


AND THIS...is my Christmas music list!!!!

Ashlee & Jessica Simpson - Little Drummer Boy (pah rump ump umm pummmmm)
Aly & AJ - We Three Kings
Kelly Clarkson - Oh Holy Night
Destinys Child - Carol of the Bells
Enya - What Child is This
The Chipmunks - The Christmas Song (me I waaaaant a hooooolahooooooop)
Eric Cartman - Oh Holy Night
Southpark - Dradel Dradel Dradel


ENJOY!!!!!!!! HAPPY / MERRY / JOYOUS CHRISTMAHANNUKWANZIKAH!!!!

Kittehz

LOL loves it

Classy Ladies

Hi, Im Starr...with two R's Starr Ostroff



Im 20, and the total package. Im told I have beautiful eyes, and Angelina Jolie lips, in fact some people say I resemble her. I have dated alot of guys, and broke all their hearts because I got bored with them and moved on. I mean, its hard to be this sexy and this trendy and to be..basically a celebrity without the career. I was supposed to be on MTV's My Super Sweet 16 but they said they couldn't finish taping me...something about lenses constantly breaking...I dunno. Either way Im looking to date people who are basically as hot as I am, so if your a hot musician or Male Model, or PLay Girl Model, then only you should apply. Im daddies little princess and he pays for my apartment and car and all my bills, so you should be able to do so also, otherwise you will be kicked to the curb. I love my daddy, I look just like him. So were both hot...so no bi guys. I dont wanna have to fight my hot dad for my man.
Holler at me if you can handle me.

*smootches*

Actual Work Conversation

Tom: "I'm back from lunch."

Andru: "Ew, Tom Hilary was flirting with a service tech on the phone, can I file a complaint?"

Tom: "Sure, what's your complaint?"

Andru: "Well, politically I'm ok with the hetero lifestyle, but to see if right in front of my face, its just plain sick."

Tom: ".....heh heh, good one."


This has been another actual work conversation

O.....M.....G

work has been hell, and therefor I have not been able to blog. I am sorry I have neglected you all for like 7 days. Things in my life are pretty crazy, christmas shopping, derby party, hellish week at work, and just...ahhh. I felt like I wanted to pull out my hair, so I buzzed my head instead. HA

I have decided that I want to try to write something. I spend enough time and energy blogging, I might as well write a book. Or a story, or something....I dunno...but i have this urge to write. So Im gonna start. I dont know what Im gonna write about exactly but Ill figure something out Im sure.

Maybe a series of short stories?? I dunno.

Thank you all for sticking with me. And Thank You Awesome Zara for talking up my little blogspot.

LOVE YOU ALL, ILL BE BACK WITH THE LOLCATS CLASSY LADIES DOUCHEBAGGERY AND EVERYTHING ELSE REAL SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely Sickening...

I got this email this morning, and am forwarding it to you all via blog, myspace, facebook, and email.


WE CANNOT LET THEM DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!! I swear to god Im going to organize a grass roots effort to burn down every mormon church in the country. and NO that was not a typo, I did not capitalize the m in mormon because I do not have any respect for them as a "religion" or as a "people"

Are we done fighting with signs and voices? can we start fighting with fists and brick now?? I've been waiting...

Anyway here is the email I received:

Last month, you stood up against constitutional discrimination in California and for full marriage equality.

Since then, a nationwide protest has begun. A legal challenge has been filed in the California Supreme Court. Supporters of proposition 8 have splintered once it was revealed that they intended to repeal all state benefits to domestic partners, even health care. And they continue to use their massive, tax-free funding to buy deceptive and misleading full-page ads in the New York times.

Right now, we need you to confirm that you would like to receive additional information via email about supporting marriage equality. Please click the link below:

http://www.marriageequalitynow.com/cgi-bin/dada/mail.cgi/n/marriage/guacamolejim/gmail.com/7810658/

This lets us know that you wish to continue to receive updates about the fight for marriage equality. If you do not wish to receive updates, simply delete this email and we will not contact you again.

Best regards,
- Your friends at Marriage Equality Now
http://www.marriageequalitynow.com/
info@marriageequalitynow.com

* * *

Our privacy policy: We will not share your contact information with any other commercial or political groups without your consent.

Actual Work Conversation

Andru: *phone rings....no one answers...so I do* "--my company name-- Heating and Air, how can I help you?"

Caller: "uhh...who is this?"

Andru: ".....this is --my company name-- heating and air"

Caller: "...is this --my company name--??"

Andru: "*sigh* yes."

Caller: "do you service heaters?"

Andru: "...really?"

Caller: "I mean like do you fix heating systems?"

Andru: ".................*click*"



This has been another Actual Work Conversation

Today Kinda Blows

So I realized that I made a critical error in my December monthly budget, a $120 error. So I have spent most of my day trying to rework it so i can survive this month...and calling myself a fucking retard. I think I have it worked out, Im feeling a little bit better....then I get a text saying "hey, you cant take the 101 freeway home, its shut down in newbury park because the Conejo Grade is on fire." Fuck me.
So Im taking my co worker home, then Im going to have to somehow navigate my way from Westlake Village...to Camarillo...without the freeway....normally not a problem, except that every other retard driver in the tri county area is going to be doing the same thing. I may just back track to Agoura and take Kanan down to the PCH and come in via the coast. Its a LONG way around but its doable. I think this is one of those curl-up-in-bed-and-read nights. Otherwise Im likely to be a complete and utter bitch to everyone I come in contact with...except Mike. If he texts me it will undoubtedly make me feel better, he usually does.

It's days like this that drive me to want to drink. I think Im gonna be a snooty fag tonight and polish off a bottle of wine. Ooo la la

Tire Rotation

I couldn't resist. I am sitting at Big Brand Tires in Camarillo, CA, waiting for my tires to be rotated (cuz they do it for free) and damned if they dont have two computers in their waiting room for people to use to go online while their cars are getting serviced!! This is the greatest idea on the planet!!!!! Im shocked this isnt is every establishment. So Naturally, I thought of you, my beloved readers, and hopped online and here I am. Blogging to you from Big Brand Tires' waiting room. Incidentally there are also two big ass giant flat screen plasma TVs mounted to the wall. I have to say this is pretty freaking cool.

Well here is a recap of my week, Monday....sucks donkey butt. Coming back from a long weekend to a day from hell with bitchy clients and stupid people causing problems for us... Tuesday I went on a "date" with a guy named Josh, who is a very nice guy, but Im not entirely sure how into me he is. I think he and I will end up being friends. Which is cool. The weird thing is he knows a few of my old friends, which is neat, but because Ventura County is entirely too small, he knows OF my ex, but he is friends with the guy my ex cheated on me with and dated for 2 years. Yeah, awkward. But Its been 2 years since our relationship ended and Im not weird about it anymore, its just odd. I know my ex and Josh's friend are no longer together...a wise choice on the part of Josh's friend, considering I know for a fact that my ex cheated on him more than once.... which really shouldnt come as a shock, I mean he cheated on me with you...what made you think he wouldnt cheat on you?!?!? Please tell me that thought crossed your mind AT LEAST once. If not..oh honey, you simple.

BUT I cant hate the guy. I did at first...but then I thought "my ex is your problem now..you kinda did me the favor" at least thats how I see it now. I love my ex. He was my first love, I will always love and care about him. BUT now...Im iover it.

WELL my car is done. Im outta here. PEACE OUT BITCHES> xoxo

Gay Panic!

OMG OMG OMG

I love Britney's New Album, "CIRCUS"

This bitch is BACK



Give it a download or buy it, whatever, its good.

There is one song I SWEAR TO GOD she wrote for me. I mean I can see why its about her, but damnit, she nailed how I feel about...someone..... on the head.

It's called "Out From Under"

Its amazing. Im having a gay panic over it. :-)

FUCKING CLUELESS

Many people need financial aid and grants and student loans and stuff...
how do you get it?

I filled out a fafsa form like 3 years ago when i was making $10 an hour, and they told me I made too much money to get grants or financial aide. The only think I got was my $26 a unit paid for. EVERYTHING ELSE came out of pocket and it killed me. Money was a big part of why I didn't finish the semester, I couldn't afford it anymore, with rent, and bills and the commute from Cam to Newbury Park to work, then from there to Ventura for school...It was too much plus playing for supplies, BOOKS, and all the software I had to buy for two of the classes I was taking... I had no choice, I had to drop out. Broke my heart to do it, but I had no choice.


Well now I make more money than back then, so I know Im probably fucked there....

its like I have to unemployed to get help.
wtf?!?!?

Someone PLEASE give me guidance!!! Where do I go for Grants? Where do I apply for student loans? how many can I have? Are those things on the MySpace banners about that guy getting grant money real? cuz dont play Ill do it.


I need MONEY, I need to pay for school so I can get a degree and get a REAL job that pays REAL money so I dont spend the rest of my life doing what Im doing now... working hard, underpaid, and barely making ends meet.
I want to do more than just "survive"

Who has knowledge about this stuff???

PLEASE HELP ME HERE.


Thanks

Andru / Andy / Andy CandyPants / whatever you wanna call me.

So Very Random,,,,

I get to work this morning and go online to check my email.
I have an email from my co worker who took today off, and it was so brilliantly random I had to share it with you.


From: Co-Worker Hillary

SUBJECT: This thought occurred to me

And it is plaguing me. I wonder if either Ben or Fred Savage refer to themselves as a "savage" when it comes to funtime in the bedroom.

A - Ben Savage reminds me of my sister's boyfriend.
B - Fred Savage has grown into his ugly, a la Leonardo DiCaprio, but far worse.

While swallowing a baby puke at the thought of those two guys fornicating, I felt it only fair to share that thought with you



Reply from Andru:

thats fucking rad.

I think Ben Savage looked like a cute lil beaver as a kid...
and the last time I saw Fred Savage...I think he was really handsome. Maybe I need glasses.