Waiting

OMG you guys I hate the waiting game. Waiting for the clock to run out so I can leave work, waiting for my financial aid check, waiting to hunt for new apartments cuz I dont have the check yet, waiting to hear if I'm getting hired on perminantly , waiting for my credit limit to increase, waiting for my credit score to improve, waiting for my friends to come visit me, waiting for one special friend in particular to come visit me ( and no it's not my period ) He knows who he is.

I am a product of the US demand for instant gratification. I accept this. I embrace this in fact. But damnit its so hard to fulfill sometimes. So I am made to wait. *sigh* I guess it is a fact of life.


So here is what's current in my little glittery world.

I am craving something new and interesting to read, and though I have books I havent read yet, I cant seem to get myself to actually pick up the books and read them. I would go into books on tape, but I feel that is just lazy.

My credit card company keeps claiming to have "pre approved" me for an auto loan, which can be very dangerous because if you dont know, Im a car whore, and love cars and always seem to want a new car every other year or so. I am currently driving my 10th car in the 12 years I have been a car owner. Of course my mind goes straight back to the car I wanted before I got the car I have now...the VW Jetta. I still love them. However I do not trust VW transmissions. They are jumpy quick to shift, run through each gear super fast, and are slow to respond to downshifts for more power.... Plus most people I have know who have driven the revised and revamped generation of Volkswagens (1999 and newer) have been unahppy with automatic transmissions and have had problems. They have also had electrical system problems....

VW being the brilliant engineers that they are have done away with the electrical system issues by installing mostly electrical contacts and connectors, and reducing the use of wires that so easily cause problems.

There is an easy fix for the automatic transmission problems as well...buy a stick shift. I havent decided what to do just yet. Part of me would love to finally get my Jetta, there is another part of me that loves my Accord and doesnt want to get rid of it. But honestly, the Accord isnt what it used to be, it needs a paint job, it is starting to need things...i know the rear brakes and drums need to be replaced, god only knows what that's going to cost me... Actually that's all I can say about the Accord thats negative. Everything else works just fine...OH except the passenger window doesn't work....and that whole...me backing into a tree thing.... but that was my fault.

I also have to consider the fact that I may be able to get a much lower interest rate through Capital One, which would greatly reduce my monthly payment. Would it be so bad to have a nicer, newer car, with a TON less miles, for LESS money a month? I don't see why this is a bad thing, yet I always seem to get opposition from people. "You don't NEED a new car." yeah well we dont NEED cell phones or make up or computers or shoes yet people have no issue spending money on these things, yet a car...oh no, Im a terrible person for wanting a car. Some people like shoes, some people like stamp collecting, some people collect porn....I ... like cars. Thats my thing. Let me have my thing!

This next thought fucks with people pretty good too.... I might look into saving my money for a few months, and buying some little beater car...as a second car, to drive to and from work. It will save the mileage on the newer car, thus allowing it to retain its value and lowering any future repair and maintenance costs for the new car, and feeds my need for cars!! plus, honestly, the insurance on some random pile on wheels would be almost nothing a month to add to my insurance policy, the gas mileage will be steller (granted Im looking at mid 90's Honda Civics) and i wont be concerned with how the car looks or even drives...as long as it gets me to and from work...and the occasional errand. Someone asked "What if that beater breaks down?? then what??"

O_O.... srsly? if it breaks down...I HAVE THE NICE CAR SITTING THERE READY TO GO... if the crappy car dies...well, either I will let it sit until I can fix it, or I will call a junk yard and have them come get it, and usually they will pay you a couple hundred bucks for it cuz they will part it out and sell it piece by piece. Either way, Im not really LOSING anything.

Of course none of this is set in stone. I havent applied for anything to do with the car because right now priority one is to get my apartment. And I think I have found 3 or 4 that could really be contendors!!!! One even says "Bad Credit OK" Im excited.

I just HATE MOVING. I HATE IT. I HATE PACKING AND LOADING THE CAR AND GOING BACK AND FORTH dropping shit off and picking shit up...the heavy lifting, the awkward sweaty exisitence...ugh I hate it. I. HATE. IT.
But I guess it's worth it. My friend Drew says he can get the Ford Excursion from work to help move. I only really need it for the bed...but who knows. The funny thing is, he works for a radio station...and its the republican douche bag advertising SUV... so it has like Sean Hannity all over the side. So Drew and I will be bumping the gayest music ever, and be super gay while we drive around in the right wing mobile. HA. We might take pictures and post them!! OMG I know right, so funny.


Then I need to get my deposit back, and with that I will begin to acquire furnature. See, I have a bed, a night stand, a random white shelf thing, and a book case (small) that my TV sits on. OH and two lamps and two end tables. Thats it. That it the extent of my furnishings. So I will need to start searching around for cheap furniture. I will need a couch, maybe a small dining table and chairs, maybe something better to put my TV on. OMG and I need kitchen stuff. I need silverware, plates, cooking stuff, pots and pans....that stuff. All I have is glasses and mugs. and I think I have...one pot. UGH I need a toaster, blender, and microwave too... UGH... Well you best believe I will be getting cooking utencils and plates and spatulas and pots (if possible) at my local 99 cent store. Trust I am NOT above the 99 cent store.


I feel like I should have a housewarming party in the hopes that I will get gifts. LOL

Maybe not but it was a nice thought though.


WELL I think I have emptied my brain... stay tuned!!!

Fucked over by Google...

Apparently its a no no to encourage people to click your ads on your blog. So google has removed my ads and disabled my account. Thanks a lot. Fuckers.

SO now Im on the hunt for a similar program. Fuck Google, Ill advertise for someone else!

Gobble Gobble

Okay, so I have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving as a holiday. I love it, because I get to spend time with my family and friends, and eat some DELICIOUS food... but I think it's complete and utter bullshit. Give thanks that the pilgrims came to this land, and shared food with indians?? Ya know what the pilgrims gave the indians?? Blankets full of Small Pox. After that killed off a whole bunch of then, they began forcing the indians out of their native land so that they could colonize and escape the oppression of England. So they oppressed another culture...to escape their own oppression. Yeah that's fair. Who gives a shit about anyone else as long as WE have what WE want...

THEN as times change, life goes on... now the government said "Okay, so our bad, we kinda fucked you and your people over... WHOOPS... okay so lets make it up to you... you are allowed to live among us...as long as you adapt to our culture, act as civil as we act, dress like us, behave like us, work and live your life as we do... if you can't...well... okay here is a random plot of land in the middle of nowhere...with some trailers on it... we will give it to you, we will call it your Reservation, and you can do whatever you want with it...its all yours!! No need to thank us.. its our way of saying... "our bad, we cool?"

I happen to have a lot of respect for native americans, and not because I am 1/16 Cherokee, but because they are smart! They figured out a way to get back at the white man. They have their casino's and they are taking the white man's money back one slot machine at a time. I think it is sad that Native American culture has been glamourized and exploited for decoration in a flashy casino... BUT at least they are strong and smart enough to do something with what they were "given" and making the best of life after what was stolen from them.

For me, the meaning of "Thanksgiving" is not that some Brit stumbled upon our shores and founded a new world... No No.

I am thankful for my friends, my family, the good things I have in my life, and I am Thankful to the Native Americans for not going buck wild ape shit crazy and slaughtering every white man they saw... So Cheers to the Native Americans, I am thankful that they didnt kill us all, and I am thankful that so many of the native american men are FUCKING HOT.

Even though my ancestors were in Sicily making wine...I still would like to say, Dear Native American's: You got a bum deal! You were fucked over big time and you didn't deserve that shit!!! You should all get together, and take over England and then be like " HOW DO YOU LIKE IT BITCHES!!!!"

KARMA IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

okay, omg omg omg....

so there is this dirty faggot I used to be friends with right? We'll call him "Birthing hips"

B-Hips said some truly awful and hateful things about some friends of mine, and then acted like a victim when we all told him to fuck off. Then he starts telling people we are liars, he never said those things...blah blah blah... anyway...

So he and his little band of rag tag losers who were OUR left over friends that we kinda of cast off... they start their little group, and then try to mess with us or talk shit...which is laughable...cuz t hey are all pathetic losers.

Anyway...i get a call today from a certain someone's Auto Financing company. UH OH...car payments arent being made...they are looking to repo... so being the concerned consumer that I am....I did what any good person would do. I gave them B-Hips' new address, phone number, work phone number, and new work address.


Ain't I a stinker?


I just sat back after the phone call and said "So THIS is what it feels like to have a prayer answered. I like it.

So THANK YOU KARMA for giving me the opportunity to return the favor to someone who did some horrible shit, and didnt get the ass beating that was deserved.

*sigh* My night has been made.

Investment Ideas

Okay so you know how some people buy properties as investments? Well I was thinking that I might buy an investment vehicle. I was thinking if I can pick up something for under $2000, something reliable, like a Honda Civic, or a Toyota Celica or something along those lines... I can use the little used car to drive to and from work, running errands, even weekend trips to visit friends and family... That was I can keep the mileage off of my nice car. Even though my "nice" car is a 6 year old Honda Accord...I still have 2 years worth of payments left on it, and it's starting to look a little tired and worn out, it would be nice to throw a car cover on it and keep it looking nice so it will actually be worth something when its paid off and I want to new car. WHICH by the way Im thinking might be a Scion xB. The new ones are cute. I want a stick shift again. Im hoping that if I can afford to pick up a little used Honda or something, that Ill be able to find a stick shift.

Anyway, thats an idea I have been tossing around. I dont know if it is going to happen BUT I do know this: I am going to have my own apartment by the first of the year!! I've already told my roommate, she is fine with it, so I just have to wait until my financial aid check arrives! That would be almost 3 grand so there is my moving money PLUS when my roommate finds a new roommate...I will get my almost 2 grand deposit back!! So maybe then I will get my lil beater car. Either that or some furniture for my new place!!!!! hey maybe if Im smart and frugal...BOTH!!! Im so excited I could pee!! I also want to take a weekend trip up to San Francisco to visit friends and have a little fun! My friend Scott is recently single after 7 or 8 years so I KNOW he needs a weekend away so he and I are planning on going, I just have to wait until I get my financial aid. We will see what happens. :-)

On top of all of this goodness, I have ideas again!!! my brain is once again full of creativity and ideas and stories for my books!!!! OMG I can't wait to get it all done!!!!!

Okay Gleeks...check this out, tonights episode features what will hopefully be Kurt's new boyfriend "Blaine." (a name I am not too fond of but whatever...)

He is played by Darren Criss. He is talented and B E A U T I F U L.



Seriously...I want to marry him. He is gorgeous. LOL

Brainstorming / Feedback from YOU

Okay readers... I have questions for you, and I really want your feedback.

Number one, how do I get more dedicated readers? I need to build a fan base and really get this going, because I really want to get different people's opinions about stuff... even if its just the random shit I post, at least there is some kind of dialog to work with.

I also would like to open up a "Blog Topic" type of situation where my readers will give me a topic and we can go off on it. hahaha Also, i am full of experience, piss and vineager, ASK ME QUESTIONS!!!! Ask for my advice!!! Ask me what I would do!!!! SO FUN!!!


okay so I have like 3 book projects in my head right now, another autobiography..focused mostly on the tragedy of my dating life as an adult, a fictional gay romance novel from my point of view (no model gorgeous men falling in love at the gym and live happily ever after in their gorgeous future of being buff adonis' that no living person could ever ACTUALLY live up to....) and my very unique cook book.

Right now Im curious about the fictional romantic gay comedy type book... I am wondering what you guys think about this idea, because I know that things that arent the norm tend to make the masses nervous, and when Americans come in contact with something they dont understand, they attack it, light it on fire, throw bibles at it, brand it a Terrorist and blame 9/11 on it...
I also know that sometimes when you tap into a little known genre, you can really make an impact, and THAT is what I love more than anything.
Okay so here is the basic plot:

Overweight gay male in his twenties battles stereotypes, and fetishes trying to find love. After being screwed over time and time again, he has decided it is better to reject the concept of love and gives in to the despair he is left with after every failed attempt at love. Eventually he comes in contact with an easily underestimateable man, whom he barely even notices... but the underestimate man is immediately attracted to the overweight bundle of low self esteem that hides behind a slightly slutty bitchy and jaded exterior, but the time is just never right... eventually, the plain unnoticable boy catches the eye of the tortured overweight gay man who is so wrapped up in dealing with his inner turmoil that he fails to notice right away that this boy is in fact, not plain or underestimatable...he is in fact extraoridinary and beautiful and everything he ever dreamt of in one person but never thought would be possible, but the chance for love may have passed as someone else may have caught the eye of the newly gorgeous underestimated boy. What will happen? How will it get resolved? What will overweight pessimistic homo do??? There will be an interesting and funny cast of characters, friends, and family complications that will complicate the story...and make it enjoyable. (at least I think it will be enjoyable)

Obviously alot of the emotional struggle, depression, and dating train-wrecks will be based on my own life, but for the most part, the story line will get complicated and frustrating...but not stupid and lame...like a certain sparkly vampire movie I wont mention cuz its stupid and lame.

Okay so what do you think?? Too predictable? Not interesting enough? Not relatable enough?? Please give me your feedback, good or bad on the concept.

I also have an idea for a lesbian based love story as well, that I plan to based on a couple of friends. They have endured outside hate, people discounting their love, their families not supporting them, financial crises, problems w ith their kids, ex's, and infidelity, yet throughout it all, they are crazy enough to stay together.

I think it will really be an interesting story to tell.


Anyway, please give me your suggestions, comments, questions, and I promise I will respond to every single one of them!!!

Thank you, and please, spread the word about my blog, i really would like to have lots of readers!!! this is the link to copy and paste to people if you want to suggest my writings to them:

http://AndrusAdventures.blogspot.com

Another Book Idea...

Okay people, I've decided that I am going to write a cook book. Im so tired of these "Naturally Skinny" types trying to get everyone thin... ya know what america... there will ALWAYS be FAT PEOPLE. GET OVER IT.

Im gonna write a cook book of delicious traditional cooking for people who eat.

Title has already been chosen, and no offense, im not sharing it yet, because it's good and I dont want to risk some random reader coming along and stealing the idea.

:-)

This book will include party tips, hosting ideas, decoration ideas, as well as the recipes....

there will be soul food, italian, mexican, sushi, desserts, and fusion recipes.

Im so excited I could pee.

Thank you Google

I guess I have to start over. Jerks.

Peace of Mind?

All seems to be well in my world at them moment...aside from the usual Hidradenitis Suppurativa drama... But this sense of calm is a nice change from the usual trainwreck I live in. Another week has ended and a new one shall begin. The sad thing is, as much as I am enjoying this "all's well" feeling, I am terrified of it as well, because every time I feel like Im on even ground, the bottom drops out, and shit hits the fan again.

I am doing my best to think positively, and makes plans for a better future. Its tough but I am gonna do it, even if it ends up being shit, I am gonna find a way to make the best of it and kick some ass in the process!!

I have also begun brainstorming for my second book. I have already begun writing it, about a year ago LOL but I hit a road block and havent looked back since. I am slowly feeling the drive to write again, thanks to forcing myself to get back into this blog. I have some ideas for a fiction novel as well... a slightly more reality-based version of a romance novel....and a novel about how my life SHOULD have gone. LOL

We will see. I have many many things I would like to do and accomplish, so wish me luck and send your love!

On a more personal note:
Jill, Fallon, Sergi: I love you <3

Fallon: I am so excited about your growing eggs!
Jill: We are SERIOUSLY overdue for a roadtrip. I say we pack up one of the cars, grab some slurpees and beef jerky, and the three of us (cuz Justin is totally welcome) hit the road.
Sergi: Plans are constantly fluctuating, but I am doing my best to make a trip to come visit.

Vixey: Thank you for still reading and clicking the ads and commenting! Hope all is well in Sri Lanka! EAT SOMETHING, YOURE TOO DAMN SKINNY!!! hahahahahahaha

Crap...

Okay, so I have a situation that I don't want to talk about in detail, but I will say this... I made a mistake, and now its come back to bite me in the ass... I need to go deal with this tomorrow...but if turns out the way I think its gonna turn out...heads will ROLL.

OMG youre gonna die...

laughing....when you watch my friend Jason and I playing "Just Dance" on Wii. My friend Jason, Arty and Drew and I decided to spend a weekend at Arty's family's beach house in Pacific Beach, CA and when we started drinking, they thought it would be a fun idea to play this dancing game. Well I heard Tina Turner and was IN. They thought it would be HYSTERICAL if I wore a wig so it would be all Tina-licious. As you will see in the video, my fat ass got too damn hot wearing that wig and it came flyin off.

Anyway...ENJOY! (god I hope this goes viral... maybe I will get a chance to go on Tosh.0 and meet that yummy dork Daniel Tosh!)

****Apparently the link won't work.... COPY AND PASTE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7FuqinYdaY&feature=share

In other news...

enough of my bitching about my home life. I am sick to death of being stressed out about shit all the time. I hate it. I HATE it.

Im trying to think of something positive and frankly I can't think of anything. I hate when this happens...when there is SO MUCH bad in your life that you are physically incapable of finding good. I am stressed at work, unahppy at home, still single, still broke, still struggling, still waiting for financial aid to pull their heads out of their asses and give me my fucking check! Im still dealing with family drama revolving around the holidays, Im still in constant unrelenting excrutiating pain every second of every day thanks to Hidradenitis Suppurative... FUCK MY LIFE. I wish there was a reset button. The good things I have in my life are far away. ALWAYS...the good stuff is always out of reach. I swear I am god's personal joke. He LOVES to watch me suffer. All I get is a hard time. Well I n ow no longer believe in god. fuck god. fuck religion...its all wrong anyway. Prayers have never done anything for me, Ive prayed and prayed and prayed all my life...and ya know what...either God doesnt give a shit, or there is NO GOD. Its kind of stupid to believe in something that we have no rock solid proof even exists. It would be like be starting a religion based on the existance and teachings of the "Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Man" I mean, we was giant and in a movie...so whose to say he wasnt our savior? yeah... thats how ridiculous "god" and religion sounds to me.

So I quit on God. He was never there for me, and now I walk away from faith. I have nothing to have faith in.

Some people will find this offensive (get over it) some people will find this sad (get over it) but ya know...this actually makes me feel better. It makes me feel more independent and less like a forgotten child who just wants to be heard and helped....no... now I am able to let go of fantasy...and move into reality. Who would have thought that letting go of this lie we've been fed since birth would actually make me feel BETTER!?!?

And now Im smiling for the first time all day.... awesome :-)

Sad Realization

Its sad sad day when you realize that you are the only person you can depend on. I can't depend on my roommate anymore. There is always some excuse or reason why she couldn't get to the bank to pay me for the utilities, or couldnt deposit the rent check, or why her check bounced... Im done. When I get my financial aid check, I am moving into my own place. Probably some hole in the wall ghetto studio in a dangerous part of town, since thats what I can afford... but whatever. My rental history and my credit with Cox Cable, the Water company, and SDG&E have been compromised and ruined because of my roommates poor judgement and lack of concern for due dates of bills. I am no longer willing to accecpt this. Also, her damn dog, that I used to adore but now am mearly tolerating... has ruined out home. The entire first floor spells like piss. Sancho is a neurotic fuck of a dog. When the new neighbors moved in, with their loud barking dog, Sancho freaked out and now refuses to go to bathroom in the back yard like he used to. So he HOLDS IT. Now he is peeing and shitting in the house. This is unacceptable to me... Im about ready to kill his stupid ass. I just leave him in the back yard when Im home because I dont want to deal with him. I feel terrible because he is a sweet loving dog, but damnit, i didnt want him!! I wanted a little dog, a pug puppy that I would have from puppy-hood that could be trained. SHE HAD TO BRING SANCHO HOME..... I had no say in the matter. Well guess what... If I move and she stays, she is paying me my part of the deposit in full, because I'm not having my part of the deposit deducted because of the damage caused by HER dog. I think however that the deposit was written out by me, so the money should come back to me...so if she moves out when I move out, then I get whatever's left of the deposit anyway. I THEN WILL DEDUCT cuz Im not having it.

I never thought this would happen. She was always so responsible, until this year. I am fed up and over this whole living situation. Done.