If you have tried over and over to contact someone who you used to live with...and they never respond... you would give up right? That's what I did. Even though she bounced rent checks, caused me hundreds of dollars in returned check fees, overdraft fees and late charges on utilities, from her irresponsible bill paying habits... I tried to stay friends. I moved out, I told her I couldn't handle living in a situation where the other person I depend on to pay bills isn't keeping up, so I moved out, and got a place by myself (best decision ever btw) EVEN THOUGH SHE LEFT ME WITH A 130 DOLLAR WATER BILL TO PAY.... I tried to be nice, stay friends, keep in touch....for 5 months now... and nothing. No response, no nothing. So I gave her the boot. I deleted her from facebook, stopped all contact. Was that wrong? I mean, I think I did everything I could to maintain a friendship... I guess she didn't care. Which is an absolute shame, we were so close. We moved to San Diego together!! We took a HUGE leap of faith together in changing our lives drastically...and we were there for each other throughout it all. I guess that means nothing. Shame.
Oh well.
October 12, 2011
October 5, 2011
VIVA LA MUSICA
This is whats currently bringing me musical Joy:
(long list since I havent posted in a while)
Vanessa Carlton: Carousel
I Don't Wanna Be a Bride
Dear California
Where The Streets Have No Name <---bitchin' cover
Michelle Branch: Loud Music
Joe Jonas (who grew up to be SO FUCKING HOT): See No More
Pitbull: Give Me Everything
David Guetta: Night of Your Life (w/ Jennifer Hudson)
Without you (w/ Usher)
Last Dance (w/ Christina Aguilera) <----- killer beat to listen to in the car
Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had
I Was Here
Ashley Tisdale - Crank It Up
Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie Part 2 (Piano version) <--- so good
We Found Love (Feat. Calvin Harris)
Cheers (I'll drink to that)
Britney Spears......(nuff said. Loves me some BritBrit)
He About to Lose Me
Selfish
Selena Gomez - A Year Without Rain
Demi Lovato - Skyscraper
Neko Case - I Wish I Was The Moon Tonight
Jojo - Disaster
Angus and Julie Stone - For You
Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All
Charice - Louder
Shontelle - Say Hello to Goodbye
Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend
Sara Bareilles - King of Anything
Gravity
Shannon Curtis - Before the Sun
Glee Cast - Unpretty/I Feel Pretty
Adele - Turning Tables
Someone Like You
Fefe Dobson - Can't Breathe
Catie Curtis - Wise to the Ways
Kris Delmhorst - Yellow Brick Road
Christina Aguilera - Bound to You
He is We - Blame it on the Rain(Acoustic)
START DOWNLOADIN!!!! And let me know what you think??? I would love to get feedback from people about my blog. Im thinking I might start some gossip blogging too...havent decided, it feels a little played out...
(long list since I havent posted in a while)
Vanessa Carlton: Carousel
I Don't Wanna Be a Bride
Dear California
Where The Streets Have No Name <---bitchin' cover
Michelle Branch: Loud Music
Joe Jonas (who grew up to be SO FUCKING HOT): See No More
Pitbull: Give Me Everything
David Guetta: Night of Your Life (w/ Jennifer Hudson)
Without you (w/ Usher)
Last Dance (w/ Christina Aguilera) <----- killer beat to listen to in the car
Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had
I Was Here
Ashley Tisdale - Crank It Up
Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie Part 2 (Piano version) <--- so good
We Found Love (Feat. Calvin Harris)
Cheers (I'll drink to that)
Britney Spears......(nuff said. Loves me some BritBrit)
He About to Lose Me
Selfish
Selena Gomez - A Year Without Rain
Demi Lovato - Skyscraper
Neko Case - I Wish I Was The Moon Tonight
Jojo - Disaster
Angus and Julie Stone - For You
Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All
Charice - Louder
Shontelle - Say Hello to Goodbye
Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend
Sara Bareilles - King of Anything
Gravity
Shannon Curtis - Before the Sun
Glee Cast - Unpretty/I Feel Pretty
Adele - Turning Tables
Someone Like You
Fefe Dobson - Can't Breathe
Catie Curtis - Wise to the Ways
Kris Delmhorst - Yellow Brick Road
Christina Aguilera - Bound to You
He is We - Blame it on the Rain(Acoustic)
START DOWNLOADIN!!!! And let me know what you think??? I would love to get feedback from people about my blog. Im thinking I might start some gossip blogging too...havent decided, it feels a little played out...
Fall begins
What up bitches?
I am sitting at work on this beautiful, overcast, rainy day and am in such a fantastic mood. Sure my job sometimes makes me wish stupidity and ignorance could be painful, but whatever. This weather always puts me in a good mood. Some people are sun children, they thrive in the warm sunlight...I am not that person. I LOVE COLD OVERCAST WEATHER AND GRAY SKIES. I'm sure this is what is responsible for my pleasant demeanor. Either way Im good.
Here is an update, then its on to my ranting.
I met a douche named Joe Castillo. A transplant from Chicago (who needs to go back) and he was very interesting a nice at first, then he became an arrogant selfish control freak, with a ghetto, petty, childish personality. When he asked why I didnt want to be with him, and I told him, he reacted like an ego-destroyed child. It was HILARIOUS. Its always so funny how one minute someone will say "youre handsome and I like you, and I really see things going well with you" and then the second you reject them, their story changes "oh well youre just a fat, ugly crack ass loser." HAHAHAHAHA ignorant people make me laugh. He is such a loser, no wonder he is single and pushin 40 yrs old. HAHAHAHA whatever he can drop dead for all I care. Seriously, I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire.
On to more positive news, I've been talking to this ADORABLE college boy, named Justin. He is so cute you guys, seriously.
I know this seems weird to be bouncing from guy to guy.... the bottom line is that there was one guy in my mind that I thought I would be with. There was no question in my head that he and I would be together, that our love would be so strong that we would move heaven and earth to be together.... sadly that wasn't case. He kinda gave up on us. Not that this is his fault, its not his fault. We were far apart for years, and even now that we are in the same state, we're still 8-9 hours apart, and with his being a college student with no car and my being poor as dirt and not being able to see each other very often, it wore us both down. He wanted to focus on school without having the ache of missing someone he loved, and he probably wanted to find someone else to get his mind off of me. It makes me sad because I still think about him, and miss him, and care very much about him, but I don't hear from him much, and I think that is partly because he is avoiding me to make it easier to get over me. Maybe I'm being a total narcissist, I dunno...either way, all I know is that I love him, I miss him, and I wish things could have been different.
In the mean time I have been trying to casually meet people. I am not determined like I was to find love. Im pretty sure real love only exists for other people. Im thinking my lot in life is to know love, but not as a daily joy. I think i might be destined to be alone. I could be wrong. Im just kinda thinking, Im 31...and only have ONE real relationship under my belt...and he cheated on me....with someone uglier than me, with a MUCH smaller penis ( i saw pictures, I was embarrassed for him) So I dont know. Now that S is out of the picture....I kinda dont care if I find someone special anymore. I mean if I do, great...and I will love him like I've never been hurt before.... but... I dont know I just thought S was it. Probably foolish of me, he is so much younger, I mean would that ever really have worked with my being 12 years older than him? probably not. People told me "you play with 19 yr olds, you don't date them and you CERTAINLY dont fall in love with them. Learn from past mistakes...remember your ex?" But I just followed my gut, which later became my heart I was following. I loved Carlos and he betrayed me. I loved S and he chose to take a different path and leave me. Granted there were some BIG misunderstandings between S and I, I mean I casually dated someone else, he was having his fun too... but lines got crossed and he thought I was playing him...which could not have been further from the truth. I would never do that to him. But he was upset thinking I had, and I wasnt strong enough to fight harder. Maybe it would've been different if I had. I don't know. Im afraid its too late now. S is gorgeous, with a VERY sexy buff little body, and an ass like a Greek god... AND HE LIKES FAT GUYS...he wont be single for long. Some lucky san fran fatty will snatch him up. I worry though, because I know he likes big guy/bears..and I know how bears will treat a little lovely chaser like S...they will string him along, use him, toy with him... Im worried they will hurt him. I don't want him to get hurt. I just want him to know the happiness and joy that deserves. The happiness and joy he brought me.
He is a tough cookie, Im sure one way or another he will be ok, i just miss him and love him, and still want to be with him. I can accept that he doesnt want me.... and I can move on, but there will always be a piece of my heart that will forever belong to him. Lord knows its a bigger piece than my ex has. S was special. S is the "one that got away" *sigh*
Anyway I've been just meeting people, going out on dates if they ask and stuff...but nothing serious. This new one, Justin....VERY cute, about to graduate from college, is 21...yes ten years younger, but he is mature and has a good head on his shoulders. He has little to nothing to do with the gay community...which is kind of a turn on actually. Less drama that way. I don't know if we will date...but I guess anything is possible.
....................and then there's Louie. I have been holding out for Louie. He is a good friend who I think could be more but it looks like he wont be moving back to San Diego any time soon...so I guess its not meant to be yet. Oh well. I'm bummed about it cuz I think Louie and I would be unstoppable together... but if we aren't together...like in the same place... we would just be longing for each other which would make us eventually resent each other..and that's not good. At least with Louie...whether we date or not, we are friends forever. That is amazing.
OKAY ON TO THE RANT!!!!!!!!!!
I have said it before I will say it again: SCION TC DRIVERS.... YOU DO NOT DRIVE A FERRARI. GET OVER YOURSELVES. ITS A TWO DOOR FUCKING TOYOTA COROLLA PLEASE STOP THINKING YOU ARE THE SHIT. NO ONE IS IMPRESSED.
You know those awful stereotypes about female drivers? I never bought into that crap since the female drivers I grew up with were THE SHIT. My mother especially. She didnt take no one's crap on the road, she didnt do her hair or makeup behind the wheel, she didnt cause accidents and didnt do all the stupid crap people joke about women doing. My mother was and still is the BOMB DIGGITY behind the wheel...she taught me how to drive a tick shift, how to go offroading and how to control a 4 wheel drive truck, she taught me how to manuever quickly in traffic and on long trips. She is the frickin SHIZZ on the road. I never understood where these stereotypes came from......until I moved to San Diego.
Most of the bullshit, the stupid brainless inconsiderate ASSHOLE moves Ive seen or experienced on the roads of San Diego County....have been caused by female drivers. WTF. Did the girls here just get handed drivers licenses when they turned 16 with no training???? seriously.
Okay lemme ask those of you who drive on freeways frequently something. If you are in the middle lane, and no one is in front of you, nothing in your way, nothing in your lane.... why would you suddenly move to the left lane cutting me off?? WHY I ASK??? Some dumb ass woman did this morning. When I honked at her, that twat had the nerve to flip me off and tap her breaklights like I was tailgaiting her. You fucking whorebag slit, YOU CUT ME OFF ... oh hell to the no, so I went around her and cut her off them SLAMMED on the breaks....she she careened into the median and stopped in the dirt I said to myself "fuck yeah. Maybe next time you'll think twice before you cut someone off then flip them off as if THEY did something wrong."
Here is another tip for driving:
A TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO MOVE WHERE YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT. A TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT MAGICALLY FORCE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU TO MAKE ROOM FOR YOUR DUMB ASS....IT IS AN INDICATION OF WHERE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE. ITS SIMPLY A NOTICE OF *INTENT*
JUST BECAUSE YOU USED YOUR TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT MEAN IT IS OKAY TO ALMOST HIT ME WHEN YOU BLINDLY CHANGED LANES YOU STUPID FUCK. THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN. LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE.
ALSO, IF YOU ARE IN ANY LANE WHERE THERE IS ANOTHER LANE TO YOUR RIGHT....AND EVERYONE IS GOING FASTER THAN YOU...MOVE THE F U C K O V E R T O T H E R I G H T.
I dont understand why this is such a difficult concept.... there are signs on the road that say it... "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT" that means if there is a line of cars behind you, then you are going to mother fucking slow and need to get the hell out of people's way. You might think "oh im saving their lives by forcing them to slow down" NO. YOU ARE BEING AN INCONSIDERATE ASS BAG AND YOU ARE ANGERING PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE KICKED IN THE FACE.
next subject....
Do not buy a car at Carmax unless you have no other option. You will get ripped off, and you wont get your money's worth at all. They are overpriced, and liars.
for example... Carmax has a 2011 Scion XB, standard with CD player, Power locks and doors, power mirrors, cruise control, ipod interface, aux jack, wheel covers and tinted windows.... this 2011 XB has 4000 miles....and they demand $19,998 for this car....*shakes head* Dear Carmax.... you can get a 2011 Scion XB with all those same standard options, at a Scion Dealer, with NO MILES, brand new...for $17000. WITH A WARRANTY THAT IS ACTUALLY WORTH HAVING.
Why the fuck would I pay 3 grand MORE for a car with 4000 miles when I could get a brand new one, un-used....for less????? Are you stupid??? So I began to search their website,,,,
roughly 95% of their inventory is foolishly overpriced. They have a 2003....a TWO THOUSAND THREE....Honda Civic with over 100,000 miles....for 11 grand. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! it better have a new engine and new transmission for that fucking price!!!!! seriously, Carmax must be stupid. I mean truly brainless. But no...in fact they are brilliant because they know that the consumer is the real BOOB in this situation because even over priced, THEY SELL CARS. I fear for humanity sometimes, I really do.
what else.... hmmmm... OH... a lot of cars in the San Diego area have been stolen lately... this confuses me. You fucking losers, get a job and get a car like every one else, don't steal one... come on you are classless and worthless. You bring shame to yourself and your family by being a petty thief. My friend Alayna's car was just stolen this past week...and obviously the thief is not a smart person... not only because he/she steals cars instead of being a decent person and earning things... they stole a 97 Honda Accord....with almost 300,000 miles. HOW FAR DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA GET. I've driven that car...its a pile. It runs...but its not a nice car. WTF. I know honda's are popular and all but shit.
I dont know I hope its not a trend in SD for people to steal cars.
What else is on my mind..... hmmmmmmm
My right hips has been hurting lately....I think its from the driving position in the truck...but there is no changing it as it is a 21 yr old single cab nissan with the longest steering column ever... so Im kinda stuck. I'll deal. Seriously though I look like I'm crammed in. Like a raggity Andy doll crammed into Barbie's dream Jeep. Its not cute.
I dont know I think thats it. I havent done a Viva La Musica Post in a while, i think Ill do that next.
I am sitting at work on this beautiful, overcast, rainy day and am in such a fantastic mood. Sure my job sometimes makes me wish stupidity and ignorance could be painful, but whatever. This weather always puts me in a good mood. Some people are sun children, they thrive in the warm sunlight...I am not that person. I LOVE COLD OVERCAST WEATHER AND GRAY SKIES. I'm sure this is what is responsible for my pleasant demeanor. Either way Im good.
Here is an update, then its on to my ranting.
I met a douche named Joe Castillo. A transplant from Chicago (who needs to go back) and he was very interesting a nice at first, then he became an arrogant selfish control freak, with a ghetto, petty, childish personality. When he asked why I didnt want to be with him, and I told him, he reacted like an ego-destroyed child. It was HILARIOUS. Its always so funny how one minute someone will say "youre handsome and I like you, and I really see things going well with you" and then the second you reject them, their story changes "oh well youre just a fat, ugly crack ass loser." HAHAHAHAHA ignorant people make me laugh. He is such a loser, no wonder he is single and pushin 40 yrs old. HAHAHAHA whatever he can drop dead for all I care. Seriously, I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire.
On to more positive news, I've been talking to this ADORABLE college boy, named Justin. He is so cute you guys, seriously.
I know this seems weird to be bouncing from guy to guy.... the bottom line is that there was one guy in my mind that I thought I would be with. There was no question in my head that he and I would be together, that our love would be so strong that we would move heaven and earth to be together.... sadly that wasn't case. He kinda gave up on us. Not that this is his fault, its not his fault. We were far apart for years, and even now that we are in the same state, we're still 8-9 hours apart, and with his being a college student with no car and my being poor as dirt and not being able to see each other very often, it wore us both down. He wanted to focus on school without having the ache of missing someone he loved, and he probably wanted to find someone else to get his mind off of me. It makes me sad because I still think about him, and miss him, and care very much about him, but I don't hear from him much, and I think that is partly because he is avoiding me to make it easier to get over me. Maybe I'm being a total narcissist, I dunno...either way, all I know is that I love him, I miss him, and I wish things could have been different.
In the mean time I have been trying to casually meet people. I am not determined like I was to find love. Im pretty sure real love only exists for other people. Im thinking my lot in life is to know love, but not as a daily joy. I think i might be destined to be alone. I could be wrong. Im just kinda thinking, Im 31...and only have ONE real relationship under my belt...and he cheated on me....with someone uglier than me, with a MUCH smaller penis ( i saw pictures, I was embarrassed for him) So I dont know. Now that S is out of the picture....I kinda dont care if I find someone special anymore. I mean if I do, great...and I will love him like I've never been hurt before.... but... I dont know I just thought S was it. Probably foolish of me, he is so much younger, I mean would that ever really have worked with my being 12 years older than him? probably not. People told me "you play with 19 yr olds, you don't date them and you CERTAINLY dont fall in love with them. Learn from past mistakes...remember your ex?" But I just followed my gut, which later became my heart I was following. I loved Carlos and he betrayed me. I loved S and he chose to take a different path and leave me. Granted there were some BIG misunderstandings between S and I, I mean I casually dated someone else, he was having his fun too... but lines got crossed and he thought I was playing him...which could not have been further from the truth. I would never do that to him. But he was upset thinking I had, and I wasnt strong enough to fight harder. Maybe it would've been different if I had. I don't know. Im afraid its too late now. S is gorgeous, with a VERY sexy buff little body, and an ass like a Greek god... AND HE LIKES FAT GUYS...he wont be single for long. Some lucky san fran fatty will snatch him up. I worry though, because I know he likes big guy/bears..and I know how bears will treat a little lovely chaser like S...they will string him along, use him, toy with him... Im worried they will hurt him. I don't want him to get hurt. I just want him to know the happiness and joy that deserves. The happiness and joy he brought me.
He is a tough cookie, Im sure one way or another he will be ok, i just miss him and love him, and still want to be with him. I can accept that he doesnt want me.... and I can move on, but there will always be a piece of my heart that will forever belong to him. Lord knows its a bigger piece than my ex has. S was special. S is the "one that got away" *sigh*
Anyway I've been just meeting people, going out on dates if they ask and stuff...but nothing serious. This new one, Justin....VERY cute, about to graduate from college, is 21...yes ten years younger, but he is mature and has a good head on his shoulders. He has little to nothing to do with the gay community...which is kind of a turn on actually. Less drama that way. I don't know if we will date...but I guess anything is possible.
....................and then there's Louie. I have been holding out for Louie. He is a good friend who I think could be more but it looks like he wont be moving back to San Diego any time soon...so I guess its not meant to be yet. Oh well. I'm bummed about it cuz I think Louie and I would be unstoppable together... but if we aren't together...like in the same place... we would just be longing for each other which would make us eventually resent each other..and that's not good. At least with Louie...whether we date or not, we are friends forever. That is amazing.
OKAY ON TO THE RANT!!!!!!!!!!
I have said it before I will say it again: SCION TC DRIVERS.... YOU DO NOT DRIVE A FERRARI. GET OVER YOURSELVES. ITS A TWO DOOR FUCKING TOYOTA COROLLA PLEASE STOP THINKING YOU ARE THE SHIT. NO ONE IS IMPRESSED.
You know those awful stereotypes about female drivers? I never bought into that crap since the female drivers I grew up with were THE SHIT. My mother especially. She didnt take no one's crap on the road, she didnt do her hair or makeup behind the wheel, she didnt cause accidents and didnt do all the stupid crap people joke about women doing. My mother was and still is the BOMB DIGGITY behind the wheel...she taught me how to drive a tick shift, how to go offroading and how to control a 4 wheel drive truck, she taught me how to manuever quickly in traffic and on long trips. She is the frickin SHIZZ on the road. I never understood where these stereotypes came from......until I moved to San Diego.
Most of the bullshit, the stupid brainless inconsiderate ASSHOLE moves Ive seen or experienced on the roads of San Diego County....have been caused by female drivers. WTF. Did the girls here just get handed drivers licenses when they turned 16 with no training???? seriously.
Okay lemme ask those of you who drive on freeways frequently something. If you are in the middle lane, and no one is in front of you, nothing in your way, nothing in your lane.... why would you suddenly move to the left lane cutting me off?? WHY I ASK??? Some dumb ass woman did this morning. When I honked at her, that twat had the nerve to flip me off and tap her breaklights like I was tailgaiting her. You fucking whorebag slit, YOU CUT ME OFF ... oh hell to the no, so I went around her and cut her off them SLAMMED on the breaks....she she careened into the median and stopped in the dirt I said to myself "fuck yeah. Maybe next time you'll think twice before you cut someone off then flip them off as if THEY did something wrong."
Here is another tip for driving:
A TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO MOVE WHERE YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT. A TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT MAGICALLY FORCE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU TO MAKE ROOM FOR YOUR DUMB ASS....IT IS AN INDICATION OF WHERE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE. ITS SIMPLY A NOTICE OF *INTENT*
JUST BECAUSE YOU USED YOUR TURN SIGNAL DOES NOT MEAN IT IS OKAY TO ALMOST HIT ME WHEN YOU BLINDLY CHANGED LANES YOU STUPID FUCK. THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN. LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE.
ALSO, IF YOU ARE IN ANY LANE WHERE THERE IS ANOTHER LANE TO YOUR RIGHT....AND EVERYONE IS GOING FASTER THAN YOU...MOVE THE F U C K O V E R T O T H E R I G H T.
I dont understand why this is such a difficult concept.... there are signs on the road that say it... "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT" that means if there is a line of cars behind you, then you are going to mother fucking slow and need to get the hell out of people's way. You might think "oh im saving their lives by forcing them to slow down" NO. YOU ARE BEING AN INCONSIDERATE ASS BAG AND YOU ARE ANGERING PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE KICKED IN THE FACE.
next subject....
Do not buy a car at Carmax unless you have no other option. You will get ripped off, and you wont get your money's worth at all. They are overpriced, and liars.
for example... Carmax has a 2011 Scion XB, standard with CD player, Power locks and doors, power mirrors, cruise control, ipod interface, aux jack, wheel covers and tinted windows.... this 2011 XB has 4000 miles....and they demand $19,998 for this car....*shakes head* Dear Carmax.... you can get a 2011 Scion XB with all those same standard options, at a Scion Dealer, with NO MILES, brand new...for $17000. WITH A WARRANTY THAT IS ACTUALLY WORTH HAVING.
Why the fuck would I pay 3 grand MORE for a car with 4000 miles when I could get a brand new one, un-used....for less????? Are you stupid??? So I began to search their website,,,,
roughly 95% of their inventory is foolishly overpriced. They have a 2003....a TWO THOUSAND THREE....Honda Civic with over 100,000 miles....for 11 grand. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! it better have a new engine and new transmission for that fucking price!!!!! seriously, Carmax must be stupid. I mean truly brainless. But no...in fact they are brilliant because they know that the consumer is the real BOOB in this situation because even over priced, THEY SELL CARS. I fear for humanity sometimes, I really do.
what else.... hmmmm... OH... a lot of cars in the San Diego area have been stolen lately... this confuses me. You fucking losers, get a job and get a car like every one else, don't steal one... come on you are classless and worthless. You bring shame to yourself and your family by being a petty thief. My friend Alayna's car was just stolen this past week...and obviously the thief is not a smart person... not only because he/she steals cars instead of being a decent person and earning things... they stole a 97 Honda Accord....with almost 300,000 miles. HOW FAR DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA GET. I've driven that car...its a pile. It runs...but its not a nice car. WTF. I know honda's are popular and all but shit.
I dont know I hope its not a trend in SD for people to steal cars.
What else is on my mind..... hmmmmmmm
My right hips has been hurting lately....I think its from the driving position in the truck...but there is no changing it as it is a 21 yr old single cab nissan with the longest steering column ever... so Im kinda stuck. I'll deal. Seriously though I look like I'm crammed in. Like a raggity Andy doll crammed into Barbie's dream Jeep. Its not cute.
I dont know I think thats it. I havent done a Viva La Musica Post in a while, i think Ill do that next.
September 12, 2011
It ALWAYS gets worse before it gets better...
I hate that saying. "It always gets worse before it gets better.... " Its bullshit. It just gets worse. The people you love leave you, the things you depend on will break, the basic needs will cost you everything you have. There is no hope, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
This is my existence. My stupid fucking car needs a new transmission, I dont make enough money to fix it. I don't make enough money to live above the poverty line for fuck's sake. I am overworked, underpaid (by hundreds a month) and I am quickly slipping into a homeless existence. This is what happens when I tried to better my life....everything fell apart.
A word of advise....accept mediocrity. Don't reach for the stars, cuz unless you are lucky, you will never reach them.
Also: if you are going to reference my blog, please make sure you do it correctly. Recently, someone I love gave up on me because of something he read (incorrectly) on my blog. As much as I understand the reality of the situation, I am too tired to fight for it. My life is wasting away, why should I allow anyone else to be part of it? especially someone I care about so much???
So here is the deal: I do not deserve happiness. That has been made clear. Every time in the past 5 years that I have tried to achieve happiness, whether it be moving to a new city, meeting a new guy, being brave, being confident... the world has fallen apart around me... clearly, I am destined for lonely poverty, and crippling misery and pain. I am not meant to be happy. So why bother? Why go on living is all I have to live for is misery and pain and loneliness? The sad part is that last night, while sitting in my darkened living room watching True Blood, I heard a thump come from my back yard...my FIRST THOUGHT....was "Please let it be a burglar who will shoot me in the head." How sick is that? It was a branch falling onto my deck, btw, sadly not a murderous burglar.
It is so bad that I might have to lose a day of work, because I don't have enough gas in my car to make it to the office. I work 25 miles from home, so 50 miles round trip in a car that NOW only has 4 reliable gears, and gets shitty gas mileage. Yes people, this is my life.
Ya know what I don't understand... I don't steal identities, I don't steal money, I don't kill people, I am not a bad person, I don't sleep around, I'm not a douchebag, I don't cheat, I'm not out there picking fights, hurting people, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I EVER WIN?!?!?!?!
Why am I always losing? Why can't I catch a break? When the fuck will all this bad luck END?? Do I have to die for this to end???? I am worn down to my very soul. I have nothing left to give... everything I am, everything I stand for, everything I believe to be true...is meaningless, because what has honesty, integrity, and hard work gotten me? I'll tell you...its gotten me poverty, struggle, strife, and a shitty car. No one ever picks me. Guys always pick someone else, I'm always left single and alone. Even when they say they love me, they leave me. You can work hard and give it your best...just to be in the same place over a year later, no raise, no hope of security or insurance or money...nothing. You're fucked. Accept it.
If this is what life is all about...then I want off this ride.
This is my existence. My stupid fucking car needs a new transmission, I dont make enough money to fix it. I don't make enough money to live above the poverty line for fuck's sake. I am overworked, underpaid (by hundreds a month) and I am quickly slipping into a homeless existence. This is what happens when I tried to better my life....everything fell apart.
A word of advise....accept mediocrity. Don't reach for the stars, cuz unless you are lucky, you will never reach them.
Also: if you are going to reference my blog, please make sure you do it correctly. Recently, someone I love gave up on me because of something he read (incorrectly) on my blog. As much as I understand the reality of the situation, I am too tired to fight for it. My life is wasting away, why should I allow anyone else to be part of it? especially someone I care about so much???
So here is the deal: I do not deserve happiness. That has been made clear. Every time in the past 5 years that I have tried to achieve happiness, whether it be moving to a new city, meeting a new guy, being brave, being confident... the world has fallen apart around me... clearly, I am destined for lonely poverty, and crippling misery and pain. I am not meant to be happy. So why bother? Why go on living is all I have to live for is misery and pain and loneliness? The sad part is that last night, while sitting in my darkened living room watching True Blood, I heard a thump come from my back yard...my FIRST THOUGHT....was "Please let it be a burglar who will shoot me in the head." How sick is that? It was a branch falling onto my deck, btw, sadly not a murderous burglar.
It is so bad that I might have to lose a day of work, because I don't have enough gas in my car to make it to the office. I work 25 miles from home, so 50 miles round trip in a car that NOW only has 4 reliable gears, and gets shitty gas mileage. Yes people, this is my life.
Ya know what I don't understand... I don't steal identities, I don't steal money, I don't kill people, I am not a bad person, I don't sleep around, I'm not a douchebag, I don't cheat, I'm not out there picking fights, hurting people, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I EVER WIN?!?!?!?!
Why am I always losing? Why can't I catch a break? When the fuck will all this bad luck END?? Do I have to die for this to end???? I am worn down to my very soul. I have nothing left to give... everything I am, everything I stand for, everything I believe to be true...is meaningless, because what has honesty, integrity, and hard work gotten me? I'll tell you...its gotten me poverty, struggle, strife, and a shitty car. No one ever picks me. Guys always pick someone else, I'm always left single and alone. Even when they say they love me, they leave me. You can work hard and give it your best...just to be in the same place over a year later, no raise, no hope of security or insurance or money...nothing. You're fucked. Accept it.
If this is what life is all about...then I want off this ride.
August 24, 2011
America...how stupid and ignorant can you be?
Okay, rant time.
Stop blaming Obama for everything. No, he hasn't had the best presidency, but I would love to see any of you random americans do a better job. Its easy to judge when you know NOTHING about what is required of the job.
Second... referring to anything Obama does as "ghetto, hip hop, izzle, etc etc" is petty racism. You are a racist. RACIST. This is coming from a white guy...you're a racist fuck.
When Clinton's reign ended, America was out of debt, with a strong economy. Bush comes in....and the TRILLIONS that we owe....started with that dumb fuck. NOT Obama. Granted, Obama maybe hasn't fixed everything, sure... but that doesnt mean he is to blame.
I read something where some tool said "Obama and his Democrat cronies signed the obama health care bill without reading it." Really??? you were there?? You were in the room when they didn't read it??? huh. Oh you weren't?? SO SHUT THE FUCK UP you ignorant boob.
I love how when there is a republican President, the GOP and its followers will be the first to condemn anyone around them for not supporting their president, yet when Obama got elected, they talk shit. Nice. I dont see you supporting your president, now that you dont like him. Hypocrites. Fuckin hate you.
Here are some facts:
Sarah Palin is not a politician, and she is not a patriot. She LEFT HER POST AS GOVERNOR BEFORE THE END OF HER TERM... so she could be on a reality TV show, and tell a real writer what to say so she could be an "author" and tour the country talking shit about comedians, and the black guy we voted for. Yeah....talking shit about your President....very patriotic. Sarah Palin is an attention hungry fool.
Michelle Bachman: brainless idiot. gay husband. worst kind of human being. anti black, anti gay, anti logic, anti historical fact, anti humanitarian. This woman is a fucking idiot. She would be best suited to go back to being a nobody. Please assassinate her.
George Dubya Bush: "Thanks for blaming it all on the black guy!"
Fox News: You are a right wing conservatively controlled TOOL. You do not report the truth, you do not remain impartial, and you are not a real, legitimate news source. You are also all racist. Referring to the white house as the White hizzouse, and calling Obama's birthday a "hip hop bbq" just because he is black. You are all terrible people and racists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND HERE'S ANOTHER THING AMERICA: I keep seeing things on line and in magazines saying "Obama celebrates 50th birthday WHILE AMERICA SUFFERS" omg shut. the. fuck. UP. Where was Bush when Katrina destroyed a good chunk of the south??? Which President took more vacations during his presidency that any other president in history???? uh BUSH. Obama deserves to celebrate his birthday.
As far as people getting upset because he celebrated his birthday while america suffers....bitch please. Like you've never been down on your luck, broke, depressed or whatever, and when your birthday came around, you celebrated. Jesus fucking christ shut up and die. You people will do ANYTHING to hate the black man.
Obama does not deserve to be impeached. Stop being racist. You're just mad cuz the black guy won. Plain and simple.
I saw a bumper sticker that said :
One
Big
Ass
Mistake
America
...yeah cuz Bush was a brilliant choice?
Frankly, at this point, I am ashamed to be American. Our Government is corrupt, not all of our citizens are equally respected or valued in this country, not everyone has equal legal and civil rights, having a black president brought out the worst in the republican party and showed their racist true colors, our economy is in the toilet, and instead of trying to fix it, we are busy blaming everyone else who thinks differently that we do for it.
America is a joke. And that is not Obama's fault. This started long ago.
I am ashamed to be an American. I plan to apply for Canadian Citizenship. If anyone asks, I'm going to say I am Canadian. And don't even try to tell me that Canada is all shitty cuz its socialist and universal healthcare isnt good...because I know for a fact that none of that is true. Canada has its share of problems, everyone does, but Canada has a better run government, a stronger economy, lower crime rate, a higher general pay scale, cleaner air, cleaner cities, and nicer people. They don't have to deal with the nutbags trying to turn america into a giant christian church.
There are too many closed minded, intolerant, ignorant, bigoted americans. Its disgraceful. "All Men Are Created Equal" is no longer part of this country. America is no longer America. America is a corrupt war hungry country who would rather blame the black guy, or say stupid shit like "God hates the black guy, and thats why we have a bad economy and earthquakes" than to accept his neighbor and mind their own business. No.... America is not America anymore.
I am from this moment forward....Canadian, and damn proud of it.
Viva Canada.
Stop blaming Obama for everything. No, he hasn't had the best presidency, but I would love to see any of you random americans do a better job. Its easy to judge when you know NOTHING about what is required of the job.
Second... referring to anything Obama does as "ghetto, hip hop, izzle, etc etc" is petty racism. You are a racist. RACIST. This is coming from a white guy...you're a racist fuck.
When Clinton's reign ended, America was out of debt, with a strong economy. Bush comes in....and the TRILLIONS that we owe....started with that dumb fuck. NOT Obama. Granted, Obama maybe hasn't fixed everything, sure... but that doesnt mean he is to blame.
I read something where some tool said "Obama and his Democrat cronies signed the obama health care bill without reading it." Really??? you were there?? You were in the room when they didn't read it??? huh. Oh you weren't?? SO SHUT THE FUCK UP you ignorant boob.
I love how when there is a republican President, the GOP and its followers will be the first to condemn anyone around them for not supporting their president, yet when Obama got elected, they talk shit. Nice. I dont see you supporting your president, now that you dont like him. Hypocrites. Fuckin hate you.
Here are some facts:
Sarah Palin is not a politician, and she is not a patriot. She LEFT HER POST AS GOVERNOR BEFORE THE END OF HER TERM... so she could be on a reality TV show, and tell a real writer what to say so she could be an "author" and tour the country talking shit about comedians, and the black guy we voted for. Yeah....talking shit about your President....very patriotic. Sarah Palin is an attention hungry fool.
Michelle Bachman: brainless idiot. gay husband. worst kind of human being. anti black, anti gay, anti logic, anti historical fact, anti humanitarian. This woman is a fucking idiot. She would be best suited to go back to being a nobody. Please assassinate her.
George Dubya Bush: "Thanks for blaming it all on the black guy!"
Fox News: You are a right wing conservatively controlled TOOL. You do not report the truth, you do not remain impartial, and you are not a real, legitimate news source. You are also all racist. Referring to the white house as the White hizzouse, and calling Obama's birthday a "hip hop bbq" just because he is black. You are all terrible people and racists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND HERE'S ANOTHER THING AMERICA: I keep seeing things on line and in magazines saying "Obama celebrates 50th birthday WHILE AMERICA SUFFERS" omg shut. the. fuck. UP. Where was Bush when Katrina destroyed a good chunk of the south??? Which President took more vacations during his presidency that any other president in history???? uh BUSH. Obama deserves to celebrate his birthday.
As far as people getting upset because he celebrated his birthday while america suffers....bitch please. Like you've never been down on your luck, broke, depressed or whatever, and when your birthday came around, you celebrated. Jesus fucking christ shut up and die. You people will do ANYTHING to hate the black man.
Obama does not deserve to be impeached. Stop being racist. You're just mad cuz the black guy won. Plain and simple.
I saw a bumper sticker that said :
One
Big
Ass
Mistake
America
...yeah cuz Bush was a brilliant choice?
Frankly, at this point, I am ashamed to be American. Our Government is corrupt, not all of our citizens are equally respected or valued in this country, not everyone has equal legal and civil rights, having a black president brought out the worst in the republican party and showed their racist true colors, our economy is in the toilet, and instead of trying to fix it, we are busy blaming everyone else who thinks differently that we do for it.
America is a joke. And that is not Obama's fault. This started long ago.
I am ashamed to be an American. I plan to apply for Canadian Citizenship. If anyone asks, I'm going to say I am Canadian. And don't even try to tell me that Canada is all shitty cuz its socialist and universal healthcare isnt good...because I know for a fact that none of that is true. Canada has its share of problems, everyone does, but Canada has a better run government, a stronger economy, lower crime rate, a higher general pay scale, cleaner air, cleaner cities, and nicer people. They don't have to deal with the nutbags trying to turn america into a giant christian church.
There are too many closed minded, intolerant, ignorant, bigoted americans. Its disgraceful. "All Men Are Created Equal" is no longer part of this country. America is no longer America. America is a corrupt war hungry country who would rather blame the black guy, or say stupid shit like "God hates the black guy, and thats why we have a bad economy and earthquakes" than to accept his neighbor and mind their own business. No.... America is not America anymore.
I am from this moment forward....Canadian, and damn proud of it.
Viva Canada.
August 19, 2011
oh the IRRITATIONS CONTINUE...
Let me just make one thing clear:
You do not matter to people who don't care about you.
Example: If I am sitting at Starbucks, minding my own business, smoking a cigarette (in one of the few places where we are still allowed to smoke....nazi's) , Do you REALLY THINK, that I will give a fuck about you? You dont know me, so when you walk up to me and say "cigarettes are disgusting, you need to put that out, because I can smell it." did you expect me to do what you tell me to do?
No, instead you got this response today from me: "Bitch, i dont know you, I don't give a fuck about you OR your opinions. WE ARE OUTSIDE, I AM AWAY FROM THE ENTRANCE, AND THERE ARE ASHTRAYS **PROVIDED** So clearly this is an environment where smoking is allowed. If you have a problem with it, I suggest you go the fuck away. Who the fuck do you think you are to come over to a random stranger, and insult and harrass them about what they do with their life?? Who the fuck made you think you were SOOO important, that you could tell me what to do?? Lemme tell you what Im gonna do, Im gonna make sure you are rinsing my iced cafe mocha out of your cheap white lady hair weave, and dry cleaning your track suit. Because Im about to throw this all up in your face you smug, nosey dried up bitch. Go Fuck yourself."
Yeah. That happened. Why? Because you picked the WRONG ONE. MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS PEOPLE. I DONT CARE IF YOU APPROVE OF MY SMOKING, MY BEING GAY, OR MY SPEEDING ON THE FREEWAY. I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE MY CAR, MY HAIR, MY CLOTHES, OR MY MUSIC. STOP THINKING YOU MATTER. YOU DONT. Mind your business.
And another thing, don't think you can throw words at me and expect me to just take it. oh HELL to the no. If youre gonna throw words at me, you better have a big catcher's mit, cuz Im throwing them right back at you bitch, I don't play that kinda ball....game over.
SO... aside from that random act of verbal violence, today has been a decent day.
I realize that I seem cold and bitchy. I relish in that in fact. But I am generally a jovial, pleasant person to be around. Everybody thinks so. But like most Sicilians, I have a short fuse, and will not hesitate to get medievil on your ass if you step outta line with me. That's right, Im not in the business of taking people's buuullllllshit, so if you have it, better take it somewhere else. Im not havin it.
A few other minor irritations:
Dont ask me what I was doing, then say "I saw you" If you fucking saw me, why are you asking?? EXAMPLE: "hey did you talk to Kelly, cuz I saw you talking to Kelly" Obviously I was talking to Kelly, if you saw me talking to Kelly, why the fuck are you going to ask me if I talked to her???? WTF is that. Stupid.
Don't tell me something like "hey check this out" then say "oh nevermind I'll show you later." FUCK OFF. Why mention it at all if youre not going to even share.
Don't say "Happy Monday" when I drag my ass into work on monday morning. There is nothing happy about mondays. No one wants to be at work, no one is happy about it, dont try to make it a better day by wishing someone happiness on a shitty day. That shit is not cute.
Just because I sit near the fax machine, does not mean I am going to fax things for you. Fuck off you lazy twat, fax it yourself.
Just because I sit near the fax machine does not mean I want all the empty blank pages that come through LEFT ON MY DESK. WTF do I have some shortage of plain white paper??? twats.
Just because I sit near the fax machine does not mean my trashcan , is yours to use whenever you feel like it.
Just because my car is 16 yrs old doesn't mean I will be okay with you bumping into it, or hitting it with your door. Motherfucker, it doesn't belong to you, DONT TOUCH IT.
Ya know the old saying "You always hurt the ones you love the most?" This. Is. A. Lie. Thats complete bullshit. Its a mde up phrase that people who lose control when they are angry say to make you feel bad for them, for getting mad at you, and saying the ONE THING that they KNOW will hurt you the most. This person is not your friend. This person can and will hurt you every chance they get, better not to let them hurt you, by keeping them at a distance.
Inconsiderate drivers should lose their licenses for a year. It should be a law. If you are turning left at an intersection, and someone next to you is turning right, and you are blocking their view of the road they are turning on to, you and a fucking assbag. If I am in a lane on the freeway, and you move into the same lane in front of me, and force me to slow down....you are a douchegoblin and should be kicked in the face, and have your license suspended because YOU are the cause of accidents.
I never bought into the bullshit about "women drivers" Until I moved to San Diego. 9 times out of 10, when you see someone cutting people off, driving too slow in the fast lane, crossing 5 lanes in one swoop, swerving in their lane, can't maintain a steady speed, tailgating, or anything else that is stupid as hell....in San Diego CA, its a woman. I have seen some stupid things, some things on the road that when you see them happen you think....there has to be a cat or monkey or mentally disabled gorilla driving that car... NNNNNOPE its always a woman. I hate to say it....but I'm starting to understand why men say that.
I laugh at people who think they are bad asses behind the wheel. It is so funny to see that white trash girl, with her limp bizket, insane clown posse, and kid rock stickers all over her Dodge Neon...tryin to act like she is hot shit with her knock off sunglasses, doing 80 on the freeway with two fingers on the wheel and a leg up on the dashboard. Bitch you are not cute. I hope you wreck that neon and get thrown thru the windshield.
Okay I have a question... when in my car, my seat is reclined back a bit because I am tall, and fat, and it is more comfortable....but when the seat is reclined so far back that scrawny 130 lbs kevin federline wannabe in his ford escort...how is that comfortable. who are you hiding from? You do not look gangster. You look stupid as hell.
White men. Stop trying to be hip hop. You look STUPID.
Bro's. okay now this is a sad situation. A lot of these "bro's" are really good looking guys who take care of their bodies (aside from the cheap beer) but the personality kills it. I admit, sometimes I see a total douchey bro...and I think...damn take off all that tap out gear, and he is fine as hell....but he isnt allowed to speak. LOL
she-bro's. Please don't reproduce....EVER. your kind will ruin this world.
Now that I think about it, i am starting to understand why the rest of the world hates the US...I mean...look what we have to offer... Jersey Shore? Rednecks? "America FUCK YEAH" and dont even get me started on the politicians....people like Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, George Dubya Bush, Rick Santorum....these fucking idiot nut jobs are who represent this country??? NO WONDER WE ARE HATED.
I will say this much regarding politics... PPEOPLE NEED TO RECOGNIZE THE FACT THAT THERE WILL NEVER BE A PERFECT PRESIDENT. THERE WILL NEVER BE A PERFECT GOVERNMENT, THERE WILL NEVER BE AN HONEST POLITICIAN. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING WHINERS.
Here are some facts that people need to face: If you can't mention President Obama without calling him a terrorist, muslum, or refer to him with any form of black stereotype... you are a racist. FOX NEWS...is racist.
OH and to refer to the President's Birthday Party as a "Hip Hop BBQ" is RACIST. I didnt see fox news calling bush's birthday a "Bumpkin filled, Coke-fueled goool' country HO-DOWN" because Fox News is racist, right wing influenced news. I think they should be shut down.
Frankly, anyone who doesn't like Obama, if you dont have any legitimate reason for not liking him other than he is black, has an "ethnic name" ...face it...you're racist.
Just like if you don't think gays should be legally married...youre a bigot.
its pretty black and white people. stop making excuses.
I fucking hate stupid people.\
ONE LAST BITCHY STATEMENT then Im done.
I am Ashamed to be an American whenever the following things occur:
1.whenever I hear "yeehaw"
2.whenever i see a fist pump
3.whenever someone actually takes michelle bachman or sarah palin seriously.
You do not matter to people who don't care about you.
Example: If I am sitting at Starbucks, minding my own business, smoking a cigarette (in one of the few places where we are still allowed to smoke....nazi's) , Do you REALLY THINK, that I will give a fuck about you? You dont know me, so when you walk up to me and say "cigarettes are disgusting, you need to put that out, because I can smell it." did you expect me to do what you tell me to do?
No, instead you got this response today from me: "Bitch, i dont know you, I don't give a fuck about you OR your opinions. WE ARE OUTSIDE, I AM AWAY FROM THE ENTRANCE, AND THERE ARE ASHTRAYS **PROVIDED** So clearly this is an environment where smoking is allowed. If you have a problem with it, I suggest you go the fuck away. Who the fuck do you think you are to come over to a random stranger, and insult and harrass them about what they do with their life?? Who the fuck made you think you were SOOO important, that you could tell me what to do?? Lemme tell you what Im gonna do, Im gonna make sure you are rinsing my iced cafe mocha out of your cheap white lady hair weave, and dry cleaning your track suit. Because Im about to throw this all up in your face you smug, nosey dried up bitch. Go Fuck yourself."
Yeah. That happened. Why? Because you picked the WRONG ONE. MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS PEOPLE. I DONT CARE IF YOU APPROVE OF MY SMOKING, MY BEING GAY, OR MY SPEEDING ON THE FREEWAY. I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE MY CAR, MY HAIR, MY CLOTHES, OR MY MUSIC. STOP THINKING YOU MATTER. YOU DONT. Mind your business.
And another thing, don't think you can throw words at me and expect me to just take it. oh HELL to the no. If youre gonna throw words at me, you better have a big catcher's mit, cuz Im throwing them right back at you bitch, I don't play that kinda ball....game over.
SO... aside from that random act of verbal violence, today has been a decent day.
I realize that I seem cold and bitchy. I relish in that in fact. But I am generally a jovial, pleasant person to be around. Everybody thinks so. But like most Sicilians, I have a short fuse, and will not hesitate to get medievil on your ass if you step outta line with me. That's right, Im not in the business of taking people's buuullllllshit, so if you have it, better take it somewhere else. Im not havin it.
A few other minor irritations:
Dont ask me what I was doing, then say "I saw you" If you fucking saw me, why are you asking?? EXAMPLE: "hey did you talk to Kelly, cuz I saw you talking to Kelly" Obviously I was talking to Kelly, if you saw me talking to Kelly, why the fuck are you going to ask me if I talked to her???? WTF is that. Stupid.
Don't tell me something like "hey check this out" then say "oh nevermind I'll show you later." FUCK OFF. Why mention it at all if youre not going to even share.
Don't say "Happy Monday" when I drag my ass into work on monday morning. There is nothing happy about mondays. No one wants to be at work, no one is happy about it, dont try to make it a better day by wishing someone happiness on a shitty day. That shit is not cute.
Just because I sit near the fax machine, does not mean I am going to fax things for you. Fuck off you lazy twat, fax it yourself.
Just because I sit near the fax machine does not mean I want all the empty blank pages that come through LEFT ON MY DESK. WTF do I have some shortage of plain white paper??? twats.
Just because I sit near the fax machine does not mean my trashcan , is yours to use whenever you feel like it.
Just because my car is 16 yrs old doesn't mean I will be okay with you bumping into it, or hitting it with your door. Motherfucker, it doesn't belong to you, DONT TOUCH IT.
Ya know the old saying "You always hurt the ones you love the most?" This. Is. A. Lie. Thats complete bullshit. Its a mde up phrase that people who lose control when they are angry say to make you feel bad for them, for getting mad at you, and saying the ONE THING that they KNOW will hurt you the most. This person is not your friend. This person can and will hurt you every chance they get, better not to let them hurt you, by keeping them at a distance.
Inconsiderate drivers should lose their licenses for a year. It should be a law. If you are turning left at an intersection, and someone next to you is turning right, and you are blocking their view of the road they are turning on to, you and a fucking assbag. If I am in a lane on the freeway, and you move into the same lane in front of me, and force me to slow down....you are a douchegoblin and should be kicked in the face, and have your license suspended because YOU are the cause of accidents.
I never bought into the bullshit about "women drivers" Until I moved to San Diego. 9 times out of 10, when you see someone cutting people off, driving too slow in the fast lane, crossing 5 lanes in one swoop, swerving in their lane, can't maintain a steady speed, tailgating, or anything else that is stupid as hell....in San Diego CA, its a woman. I have seen some stupid things, some things on the road that when you see them happen you think....there has to be a cat or monkey or mentally disabled gorilla driving that car... NNNNNOPE its always a woman. I hate to say it....but I'm starting to understand why men say that.
I laugh at people who think they are bad asses behind the wheel. It is so funny to see that white trash girl, with her limp bizket, insane clown posse, and kid rock stickers all over her Dodge Neon...tryin to act like she is hot shit with her knock off sunglasses, doing 80 on the freeway with two fingers on the wheel and a leg up on the dashboard. Bitch you are not cute. I hope you wreck that neon and get thrown thru the windshield.
Okay I have a question... when in my car, my seat is reclined back a bit because I am tall, and fat, and it is more comfortable....but when the seat is reclined so far back that scrawny 130 lbs kevin federline wannabe in his ford escort...how is that comfortable. who are you hiding from? You do not look gangster. You look stupid as hell.
White men. Stop trying to be hip hop. You look STUPID.
Bro's. okay now this is a sad situation. A lot of these "bro's" are really good looking guys who take care of their bodies (aside from the cheap beer) but the personality kills it. I admit, sometimes I see a total douchey bro...and I think...damn take off all that tap out gear, and he is fine as hell....but he isnt allowed to speak. LOL
she-bro's. Please don't reproduce....EVER. your kind will ruin this world.
Now that I think about it, i am starting to understand why the rest of the world hates the US...I mean...look what we have to offer... Jersey Shore? Rednecks? "America FUCK YEAH" and dont even get me started on the politicians....people like Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, George Dubya Bush, Rick Santorum....these fucking idiot nut jobs are who represent this country??? NO WONDER WE ARE HATED.
I will say this much regarding politics... PPEOPLE NEED TO RECOGNIZE THE FACT THAT THERE WILL NEVER BE A PERFECT PRESIDENT. THERE WILL NEVER BE A PERFECT GOVERNMENT, THERE WILL NEVER BE AN HONEST POLITICIAN. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING WHINERS.
Here are some facts that people need to face: If you can't mention President Obama without calling him a terrorist, muslum, or refer to him with any form of black stereotype... you are a racist. FOX NEWS...is racist.
OH and to refer to the President's Birthday Party as a "Hip Hop BBQ" is RACIST. I didnt see fox news calling bush's birthday a "Bumpkin filled, Coke-fueled goool' country HO-DOWN" because Fox News is racist, right wing influenced news. I think they should be shut down.
Frankly, anyone who doesn't like Obama, if you dont have any legitimate reason for not liking him other than he is black, has an "ethnic name" ...face it...you're racist.
Just like if you don't think gays should be legally married...youre a bigot.
its pretty black and white people. stop making excuses.
I fucking hate stupid people.\
ONE LAST BITCHY STATEMENT then Im done.
I am Ashamed to be an American whenever the following things occur:
1.whenever I hear "yeehaw"
2.whenever i see a fist pump
3.whenever someone actually takes michelle bachman or sarah palin seriously.
August 11, 2011
Irritants
Okay here we go. I am irritated as shit, which means Im usually in my prime for blogging.
The following things irritate the shit out of me:
1. Hawaiian IS NOT A RACE. Culture, yes, resident of Hawaii, yes....a RACE...NO. If that were the case, i wouldnt be caucasian, I would be Californian. If anything, hawaiians fall under the asian catagory, specifically Pacific Islander...cuz...its an island....in the pacific.
2. SCION TC OWNERS: You car is not a Ferrari, its a 2 door Toyota Corolla...get over yourself. Yes your car is cute as hell (prior to the 2011 model) but get over yourself.
3. Stop talking all loud on your cell phone in public, no one gives a fuck about you or your conversation.
4. know how to do your job.
5. If you are a hefty person, please dress appropriately. Skin tight jeans, and a skin tight shirt, and ballerina slippers does NOT make your fat ass look cute, girl.
5 If you ask me a question, and I answer it, don't argue with me about the validity of my answer.... if you dont like my answer..fuck off and ask someone else.
6. Don't give me attitude if you don't know me. I will cut your face.
7. I hate fake people. Don't act like youre a nice decent upstanding person, then turn around and be a shit talking slutbag. If you are a whore and gettin laid every other day, own it. Be it. Don't lie about it, its not cute.
8. Yes I have red hair, NO MY NAME IS NOT FUCKING "GINGER" It fucking irritates me when people I dont know, who try to get my attention call me ginger. What ever happened to "Excuse me" or "Pardon me, sir" or even "hey you"....nooooo now its "Hey Ginger". Fuck off and die in a fire. You sicken me.
9. If you can tell that I'm in a bad mood... saying "What the fuck is YOUR problem" is not the correct way to approach me. Choose your words carefully. How about "Are you okay? you seem like youre in a bad mood" this will immediately diffuse my shitty short temper and allow me to know that you care, and I will converse with you.... if you are all sour about it, go fuck yourself.
10. Obsessed Twilight fans. I want to burn the book and posters in front of you and watch you cry, then dunk my cookies in your tears. The story is predictable, repetitive, and boring. Bella Swan is a vapid empty character, which is perfect for Kristen Stewart because she herself, is empty and vapid, with zero emotional range and only one facial expression. I get that you desperate girls out there need something in your lives to cling to, but my GOD, its a fantasy, not a religion. Stop cramming it down people's throats....and for all you fag hags, lesbians, or gay loving hetero girls who would do anything for your queens...and also love twilight FOR SHAME. SHAME ON YOU. You are hereby stripped of your gay priviledges.......
....
....
.... OH LET ME TELL YOU WHY:
That TWAT Stephanie Meyer is a fucking mormon...which doesn't bother me so much because that is her choice...however, she took hundreds of THOUSANDS of dollars, that she got for YOU, FROM BOOK SALES, AND GAVE IT TO THE YES ON 8 CAMPAIGN AND EFFECTIVELY STRIPPING GAYS OF THE MOST BASIC OF EQUAL LEGAL RIGHTS. So when you were holding your queen, while he cried his eyes out because he was now a second class citizen, he should have been burning you with his cigarette and calling you fat, BECAUSE YOU HELPED MAKE IT HAPPEN. I hope youre happy.
11. WHY THE FUCK IS PLANKING A THING!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUCKING INTERESTING ABOUT LAYING ON RANDOM OBJECTS, STIFF AND A BOARD!?!?!?!? SOMEONE MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!
12. Skinny people who complain about being fat....should have their own boney leg ripped off and be beaten about the head and shoulders with it.
13. Gas is too fucking expensive, STILL.
14. Michelle Bachmann is a raving lunatic and her batshit crazy ass needs to die in a fiery plane crash.
15. FACT: The economy tanked thanks to 8 years of DUBYA... why are you right wingers blaming it on the black guy?? oh wait. I just found my own answer...cuz he is black. Bigots.
16. FACT: people claimed Obama would turn us socialist, and take away our rights to keep our money and bare arms....huh....funny you have t hose stickers on your cars, yet nothing has changed... you just made yourself look racist. well done. IGNORANCE WINS YET AGAIN.
17. If either Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann come even mildly close to becoming president, I will apply for Canadian Citizenship, I dont care. I will not support or live in a country that would elect that kind of brainless crazy.
18. KATHY GRIFFIN 2012 for President.
19. I fucking hate that phase of childhood when kids can't express shock, surprise, happiness, or dislike with out SHREAKING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. YOU. LITTLE. BASTARD. Scream only when terrified, being raped, or being beat up. Otherwise, there is no use for it. You are irritating the world around you, shut the fuck up, you should have been aborted.
20. If you have a dog, and you allow that dog to bark, constatly, at everything and everyone that moves, and you allow it to run all over your neighborhood barking....I will hit it with my car, and will not feel bad or apologize for it. Be a better pet parent, and get control of your animal, or give it away to someone who will. I hate you. I hope you die.
Okay so the running theme for this blog is that I hate things and want them to die.
OH one more thing...
To those of you (girls age 3-17) who just **LOOOVVEEEE** Justin Beiber.... let me teach you something.... He is not original. He is not an innovator. HE DOES NOT HAVE "SWAG, or SWAGGER" He is Usher's puppet. Check out Usher in the 90's, see his dance moves, his persona, his style, his public image....why, could it be?? why yes! its Black Beiber. Stop acting like he is an epic icon of Beethovenesque proportions. He is a pop star, nothing more. Love him all you want, he is a narrow minded douchebag in training...his father was a douche bag, his mother all but signed over custody of him to the industry, he is doomed. He might have a good long career....but not while he is pumping out the same love songs over and sover. We get it, even though your big toothed, gay haired, ignorant, bigoted self could have any girl who screams your name....you "just need somebody to loooooooove." *rolls eyes* Please get over Justin Beiber, he is not that special.
I NEED SUBSTANCE. Music should have substance, and I can promise you, anything that will have millions of little pubescent girls shreaking like banshees....severely lacks substance.
Dear God... where are the thinkers? The poeple use their brains before following the sheep?? Where are the girls who DONT WATCH JERSEY SHORE....
OH MY GAWD HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT RETARD WOOKIE SNOOKI HAVE A HOT ASS BOYFRIEND ?!?!!?!?!? WTF!!!?!?!?! She is an annoying little classless tramp with an orange chunky body, and a TERRIBLE ACCENT...how did she land the hot mother fucker she has now...Jionni i think is his name HE IS GORGEOUS. And there is no gel in his hair.
Speaking of gel.. Pauly D... *sigh* Having seen a few interviews with him, he actually has a sweet side, a polite, well mannered side who doesnt ACTUALLY behave like his TV persona would make you believe.... and...that smile ;) Here is my challenge... I will bet, that is not dressed like a greasy guido with no class, and you did his hair like a normal person...then had him flash that smile, I'll bet you he would be GORGEOUS. As for the "situation" The gym can't fix ugly. You have an ugly face. deal with it.
Anything else bothering me right now.....hmmmm? No I think that covers it.
The following things irritate the shit out of me:
1. Hawaiian IS NOT A RACE. Culture, yes, resident of Hawaii, yes....a RACE...NO. If that were the case, i wouldnt be caucasian, I would be Californian. If anything, hawaiians fall under the asian catagory, specifically Pacific Islander...cuz...its an island....in the pacific.
2. SCION TC OWNERS: You car is not a Ferrari, its a 2 door Toyota Corolla...get over yourself. Yes your car is cute as hell (prior to the 2011 model) but get over yourself.
3. Stop talking all loud on your cell phone in public, no one gives a fuck about you or your conversation.
4. know how to do your job.
5. If you are a hefty person, please dress appropriately. Skin tight jeans, and a skin tight shirt, and ballerina slippers does NOT make your fat ass look cute, girl.
5 If you ask me a question, and I answer it, don't argue with me about the validity of my answer.... if you dont like my answer..fuck off and ask someone else.
6. Don't give me attitude if you don't know me. I will cut your face.
7. I hate fake people. Don't act like youre a nice decent upstanding person, then turn around and be a shit talking slutbag. If you are a whore and gettin laid every other day, own it. Be it. Don't lie about it, its not cute.
8. Yes I have red hair, NO MY NAME IS NOT FUCKING "GINGER" It fucking irritates me when people I dont know, who try to get my attention call me ginger. What ever happened to "Excuse me" or "Pardon me, sir" or even "hey you"....nooooo now its "Hey Ginger". Fuck off and die in a fire. You sicken me.
9. If you can tell that I'm in a bad mood... saying "What the fuck is YOUR problem" is not the correct way to approach me. Choose your words carefully. How about "Are you okay? you seem like youre in a bad mood" this will immediately diffuse my shitty short temper and allow me to know that you care, and I will converse with you.... if you are all sour about it, go fuck yourself.
10. Obsessed Twilight fans. I want to burn the book and posters in front of you and watch you cry, then dunk my cookies in your tears. The story is predictable, repetitive, and boring. Bella Swan is a vapid empty character, which is perfect for Kristen Stewart because she herself, is empty and vapid, with zero emotional range and only one facial expression. I get that you desperate girls out there need something in your lives to cling to, but my GOD, its a fantasy, not a religion. Stop cramming it down people's throats....and for all you fag hags, lesbians, or gay loving hetero girls who would do anything for your queens...and also love twilight FOR SHAME. SHAME ON YOU. You are hereby stripped of your gay priviledges.......
....
....
.... OH LET ME TELL YOU WHY:
That TWAT Stephanie Meyer is a fucking mormon...which doesn't bother me so much because that is her choice...however, she took hundreds of THOUSANDS of dollars, that she got for YOU, FROM BOOK SALES, AND GAVE IT TO THE YES ON 8 CAMPAIGN AND EFFECTIVELY STRIPPING GAYS OF THE MOST BASIC OF EQUAL LEGAL RIGHTS. So when you were holding your queen, while he cried his eyes out because he was now a second class citizen, he should have been burning you with his cigarette and calling you fat, BECAUSE YOU HELPED MAKE IT HAPPEN. I hope youre happy.
11. WHY THE FUCK IS PLANKING A THING!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUCKING INTERESTING ABOUT LAYING ON RANDOM OBJECTS, STIFF AND A BOARD!?!?!?!? SOMEONE MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!
12. Skinny people who complain about being fat....should have their own boney leg ripped off and be beaten about the head and shoulders with it.
13. Gas is too fucking expensive, STILL.
14. Michelle Bachmann is a raving lunatic and her batshit crazy ass needs to die in a fiery plane crash.
15. FACT: The economy tanked thanks to 8 years of DUBYA... why are you right wingers blaming it on the black guy?? oh wait. I just found my own answer...cuz he is black. Bigots.
16. FACT: people claimed Obama would turn us socialist, and take away our rights to keep our money and bare arms....huh....funny you have t hose stickers on your cars, yet nothing has changed... you just made yourself look racist. well done. IGNORANCE WINS YET AGAIN.
17. If either Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann come even mildly close to becoming president, I will apply for Canadian Citizenship, I dont care. I will not support or live in a country that would elect that kind of brainless crazy.
18. KATHY GRIFFIN 2012 for President.
19. I fucking hate that phase of childhood when kids can't express shock, surprise, happiness, or dislike with out SHREAKING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. YOU. LITTLE. BASTARD. Scream only when terrified, being raped, or being beat up. Otherwise, there is no use for it. You are irritating the world around you, shut the fuck up, you should have been aborted.
20. If you have a dog, and you allow that dog to bark, constatly, at everything and everyone that moves, and you allow it to run all over your neighborhood barking....I will hit it with my car, and will not feel bad or apologize for it. Be a better pet parent, and get control of your animal, or give it away to someone who will. I hate you. I hope you die.
Okay so the running theme for this blog is that I hate things and want them to die.
OH one more thing...
To those of you (girls age 3-17) who just **LOOOVVEEEE** Justin Beiber.... let me teach you something.... He is not original. He is not an innovator. HE DOES NOT HAVE "SWAG, or SWAGGER" He is Usher's puppet. Check out Usher in the 90's, see his dance moves, his persona, his style, his public image....why, could it be?? why yes! its Black Beiber. Stop acting like he is an epic icon of Beethovenesque proportions. He is a pop star, nothing more. Love him all you want, he is a narrow minded douchebag in training...his father was a douche bag, his mother all but signed over custody of him to the industry, he is doomed. He might have a good long career....but not while he is pumping out the same love songs over and sover. We get it, even though your big toothed, gay haired, ignorant, bigoted self could have any girl who screams your name....you "just need somebody to loooooooove." *rolls eyes* Please get over Justin Beiber, he is not that special.
I NEED SUBSTANCE. Music should have substance, and I can promise you, anything that will have millions of little pubescent girls shreaking like banshees....severely lacks substance.
Dear God... where are the thinkers? The poeple use their brains before following the sheep?? Where are the girls who DONT WATCH JERSEY SHORE....
OH MY GAWD HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT RETARD WOOKIE SNOOKI HAVE A HOT ASS BOYFRIEND ?!?!!?!?!? WTF!!!?!?!?! She is an annoying little classless tramp with an orange chunky body, and a TERRIBLE ACCENT...how did she land the hot mother fucker she has now...Jionni i think is his name HE IS GORGEOUS. And there is no gel in his hair.
Speaking of gel.. Pauly D... *sigh* Having seen a few interviews with him, he actually has a sweet side, a polite, well mannered side who doesnt ACTUALLY behave like his TV persona would make you believe.... and...that smile ;) Here is my challenge... I will bet, that is not dressed like a greasy guido with no class, and you did his hair like a normal person...then had him flash that smile, I'll bet you he would be GORGEOUS. As for the "situation" The gym can't fix ugly. You have an ugly face. deal with it.
Anything else bothering me right now.....hmmmm? No I think that covers it.
July 27, 2011
Updates, Daddy Button, and the "new"car
Hello people,
I know, I know, I have forsaken you. I haven't blogged in 7 months. Im a terrible person. hahaha
Okay whatever, you'll get over it. OKAY... so I have a few things I want to share, some topics to discuss, and updates to be..well...updated.
Sit down and shut up and here we go:
Since My last post about stupid bitches christmas shopping and wanting a new car...here is what happened. None of my beautifully laid plans worked. I wasnt able to get the car because my credit wasnt high enough STILL... because of my credit cards. Well, Lesson learned. Instead of fighting a losing battle, and trying to make 5 dollars out of 20 cents, I decided to through my hands up in the air sometimes, sayin AAAYOOOOO BANKRUPTCEEEEYYYOOOOOO Thats right. Fuck my bills, fuck the companies I owe money to and their high interest rates and their shady back alley abortions they call "deals" fuck them all!!! I ain't payin you shit, and if they keep calling me, they are going to end up PAYING ME!!! This is why I love my bankruptcy attorney. PEOPLE, IF YOU EVER FILE BANKRUPTCY, GET A LAYWER. ITS WORTH IT.
Well in the past 7 months, I dated someone that meant the world to me, Tai, but sadly he needs to fix his life, and as much as I would like to help him and be his hero, he won't let me, he needs to do this on his own. So I ended it with him, so as not to make things any harder for him. It sucks. I miss him everyday. But we are friends so I guess that's good? Whatever, obviously it wasnt meant to be. I still Love S, but he is still super far away, and as he gets older, he is pulling away, he even told me he wants to pull away... maybe I should let him go? I dont know, we arent in a relationship, but we CRAVE each other...its strange.
I love him though. :)
OH back to the bankruptcy, I had to surrender my car because Im claiming it in my BK... weeelllllll I now have a 16 yr old sedan. I wanted a new Scion XB, but now have a 95 Honda Accord. Its cute, and it runs really well, and it will do for now....but I feel... I dont know. Poor. I mean, I AM poor, but I feel embarrassed to be in my car. Its a feeling I am not familiar with. Oh well. Its a necessary step to get ahead. Once my bankruptcy is discharged, I can start with some small things, like ONE credit card that I will only use for one tank of gas a month, then pay it off every month, for a couple of months, that should get the credit up, then I will go for a car. It all depends too, on where I am as far as income. I make shitty money. Lately I have been HATING my job. Im sick of stupid people calling me, Im sick of making crumbs, with nothing to show for it except bankruptcy, and Im sick of being a fucking TEMP. I've been here almost a year, and Im still a temp. This is ridiculous. I'm over it. Im looking for a new job but the job market SSSSUUUUCCCCKKKKSSSS, so what can I do? I hate this feeling. I feel trapped in misery. Its like when I was forced to spend summers w ith my dad. I loved my dad, and doing things with my dad, but my stepmother wasnt pleasant during my childhood, I hated the heat in Fresno in the summer, and my dad worked alot, so it's not like I spent tons of time with him. I was trapped in a situation, that I didnt want to be in. Just like my car, my job and the heat in the summer. I hate heat.
I still want to move to Seattle. Where the sun shines but doesn't burn you to a crisp.
SO, in regards to the "Daddy Button" Let me explain: For gay men and straight women, we become attracted to older men, sometimes...much older...and we want them to take control of us, (within reason) That older, sexy man that makes you say "ooohh.. daddy" yes well I have been experiencing this a lot lately, and I don't know what it is, but Its made for good fap-worthy evenings. TMI I know, but whatever don't act like you dont do it too.
Currently, the celebs that hit my daddy button are:
Stanley Tucci. Something about that voice, those big pecs, and the bald head just.....oooooo gets me.
Christopher Meloni. Dear. God. Meloni. He is... just.... blue collar, blue eyes, rough ridin, tie me up and use me FINE. The man makes me moist.
Leiv Shreiber. OMG with the fangs and the facial scruff, growling as Sabertooth... sweet jesus I almost fainted. I had no idea he was that hot.
Those are top 3. DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF There many dilfs in my head. Mario Lopez, Pete Wentz, Hugh Jackman, David Beckham, Boris Kodjoe.... cuz dad's are hot sometimes.
In other hot guy news... I think Im in full blown celebrity crush love with:
Darren Criss
&
Zachary Quinto
Love, Love, Love them.
okay I think Im done for now. PEACE OUT BITCHES
I know, I know, I have forsaken you. I haven't blogged in 7 months. Im a terrible person. hahaha
Okay whatever, you'll get over it. OKAY... so I have a few things I want to share, some topics to discuss, and updates to be..well...updated.
Sit down and shut up and here we go:
Since My last post about stupid bitches christmas shopping and wanting a new car...here is what happened. None of my beautifully laid plans worked. I wasnt able to get the car because my credit wasnt high enough STILL... because of my credit cards. Well, Lesson learned. Instead of fighting a losing battle, and trying to make 5 dollars out of 20 cents, I decided to through my hands up in the air sometimes, sayin AAAYOOOOO BANKRUPTCEEEEYYYOOOOOO Thats right. Fuck my bills, fuck the companies I owe money to and their high interest rates and their shady back alley abortions they call "deals" fuck them all!!! I ain't payin you shit, and if they keep calling me, they are going to end up PAYING ME!!! This is why I love my bankruptcy attorney. PEOPLE, IF YOU EVER FILE BANKRUPTCY, GET A LAYWER. ITS WORTH IT.
Well in the past 7 months, I dated someone that meant the world to me, Tai, but sadly he needs to fix his life, and as much as I would like to help him and be his hero, he won't let me, he needs to do this on his own. So I ended it with him, so as not to make things any harder for him. It sucks. I miss him everyday. But we are friends so I guess that's good? Whatever, obviously it wasnt meant to be. I still Love S, but he is still super far away, and as he gets older, he is pulling away, he even told me he wants to pull away... maybe I should let him go? I dont know, we arent in a relationship, but we CRAVE each other...its strange.
I love him though. :)
OH back to the bankruptcy, I had to surrender my car because Im claiming it in my BK... weeelllllll I now have a 16 yr old sedan. I wanted a new Scion XB, but now have a 95 Honda Accord. Its cute, and it runs really well, and it will do for now....but I feel... I dont know. Poor. I mean, I AM poor, but I feel embarrassed to be in my car. Its a feeling I am not familiar with. Oh well. Its a necessary step to get ahead. Once my bankruptcy is discharged, I can start with some small things, like ONE credit card that I will only use for one tank of gas a month, then pay it off every month, for a couple of months, that should get the credit up, then I will go for a car. It all depends too, on where I am as far as income. I make shitty money. Lately I have been HATING my job. Im sick of stupid people calling me, Im sick of making crumbs, with nothing to show for it except bankruptcy, and Im sick of being a fucking TEMP. I've been here almost a year, and Im still a temp. This is ridiculous. I'm over it. Im looking for a new job but the job market SSSSUUUUCCCCKKKKSSSS, so what can I do? I hate this feeling. I feel trapped in misery. Its like when I was forced to spend summers w ith my dad. I loved my dad, and doing things with my dad, but my stepmother wasnt pleasant during my childhood, I hated the heat in Fresno in the summer, and my dad worked alot, so it's not like I spent tons of time with him. I was trapped in a situation, that I didnt want to be in. Just like my car, my job and the heat in the summer. I hate heat.
I still want to move to Seattle. Where the sun shines but doesn't burn you to a crisp.
SO, in regards to the "Daddy Button" Let me explain: For gay men and straight women, we become attracted to older men, sometimes...much older...and we want them to take control of us, (within reason) That older, sexy man that makes you say "ooohh.. daddy" yes well I have been experiencing this a lot lately, and I don't know what it is, but Its made for good fap-worthy evenings. TMI I know, but whatever don't act like you dont do it too.
Currently, the celebs that hit my daddy button are:
Stanley Tucci. Something about that voice, those big pecs, and the bald head just.....oooooo gets me.
Christopher Meloni. Dear. God. Meloni. He is... just.... blue collar, blue eyes, rough ridin, tie me up and use me FINE. The man makes me moist.
Leiv Shreiber. OMG with the fangs and the facial scruff, growling as Sabertooth... sweet jesus I almost fainted. I had no idea he was that hot.
Those are top 3. DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF There many dilfs in my head. Mario Lopez, Pete Wentz, Hugh Jackman, David Beckham, Boris Kodjoe.... cuz dad's are hot sometimes.
In other hot guy news... I think Im in full blown celebrity crush love with:
Darren Criss
&
Zachary Quinto
Love, Love, Love them.
okay I think Im done for now. PEACE OUT BITCHES
February 9, 2011
Brace yourself religious types...youre not gonna like this:
The following is a facebook post / conversation I read then chimed in on and let me tell you, its HILARIOUS. I love fucking with the overly religious. Because they are Religulous.
It started with Terry posting her status, the rest are comments.
ENJOY!
Terry Horton:
Let's see how many true Christians are on FB! Press Like if Jesus is your Savior!!
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:
Cellest Alexis Skye: Sorry not a Christian. Geoff and I come from the "church" of be nice to people and chew with your mouth closed. :0)
Jp Zisk: Sorry to hear that. We will be praying for you.
Cellest Alexis Skye: It's all good, I'm always kewl with prayers. I just try and be a good person. I don't need a spagetti monster in the sky to be a good person. We're agnostic, we believe in the right to believe without needing to believe in one thing. :0)
Jp Zisk: Thats nice but this life is very short compared to eternal salvation.
Cellest Alexis Skye: Yes but aren't Christians supposed to stay married and not get divorced? I guess we all pick and choose what works for us. :0)
Jp Zisk: I have been washed clean of that sin and it is water under the bridge. Praise the Lord.
Cellest Alexis Skye: Then I guess just before I die, I'll say praise the lord and I'll be just fine. Until then I'm gonna run amuck. You know donating to cause's I believe in, visiting old people, sending out X-mas cards, staying in my almost 8 year relationship and just generally being a good person. :0) But I guess if I forget to say it I might go to hell, bummer.
Jp Zisk: God bless
Cellest Alexis Skye: Did you also know that drinking and smoking are sins? I see pics in your profile that suggest you do both.
The Bible says your body is the temple of the Lord and whoever destroys it God shall destroy.
Jp Zisk :) Ty and glad i got you reading the bible. God Bless
Cellest Alexis Skye: Umm no I just googled it. I have read the bible long ago, not my bag. The only thing you got me to do was to waste my time. :0)
Cellest Alexis Skye: Correction: "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."
1 Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV
Sarah Dyke: WOW
Cellest Alexis Skye: I know!! He's nuts!
Andru Bergdahl: HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA Spaghetti Monster... oh that was good. *wipes tear* oh Cellest... you are a hoot
Cellest Alexis: Skye @ Andru, Terry is my aunt of my cousin Nicole who passed away last year. JP is Nicoles exhusband... Enuff said.
Andru Bergdahl: OH... well Im sorry to hear about Nicole, but I think JP is hilarious. People like him are always hilarious. You can be as big a hypocrite as humanly possible, break all the spaghetti monsters rules, and all you have to do is tell yourself ..."Its okay, the spaghetti monster forgives me of all my sins" and they get to be guilt free. Its not forgiveness, is the self rationalization/delusion that makes them feel better about being a heartless fuck who feels no guilt. If they hide behind the spaghetti monster, then they can blame their ignorance, hypocracy, hatred, on him. "Im not a bad person, I dont hate people or break the rules... well I am and I did but thats just because the spaghetti monster told me to." And thats another thing... don't give me that crap about "The spaghetti monster spoke to me, he told me I was forgiven." Okay, pleae face reality....if you think the spaghetti monster spoke to you and you heard him in your head...its only one of three things, either A: You're a liar, B: It's your imagination or C: You're schitzophrenic.
Maybe I'm just SIN-nicle (ha) but if you expect me to believe in the spaghetti monster, I require proof that he exists, and a babies laughter, dew on a flower field in spring, or the musical stylings of Amy Grant don't count. I mean actual proof that I can see, hear, or touch....that others can also see hear or touch. Science FTW!
Cellest Alexis Skye: Damn right Andru!! I love you woman! Will you be my homosexual baby daddy? :0)
Andru Bergdahl ABSOLUTELY!!!
It started with Terry posting her status, the rest are comments.
ENJOY!
Terry Horton:
Let's see how many true Christians are on FB! Press Like if Jesus is your Savior!!
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:
Cellest Alexis Skye: Sorry not a Christian. Geoff and I come from the "church" of be nice to people and chew with your mouth closed. :0)
Jp Zisk: Sorry to hear that. We will be praying for you.
Cellest Alexis Skye: It's all good, I'm always kewl with prayers. I just try and be a good person. I don't need a spagetti monster in the sky to be a good person. We're agnostic, we believe in the right to believe without needing to believe in one thing. :0)
Jp Zisk: Thats nice but this life is very short compared to eternal salvation.
Cellest Alexis Skye: Yes but aren't Christians supposed to stay married and not get divorced? I guess we all pick and choose what works for us. :0)
Jp Zisk: I have been washed clean of that sin and it is water under the bridge. Praise the Lord.
Cellest Alexis Skye: Then I guess just before I die, I'll say praise the lord and I'll be just fine. Until then I'm gonna run amuck. You know donating to cause's I believe in, visiting old people, sending out X-mas cards, staying in my almost 8 year relationship and just generally being a good person. :0) But I guess if I forget to say it I might go to hell, bummer.
Jp Zisk: God bless
Cellest Alexis Skye: Did you also know that drinking and smoking are sins? I see pics in your profile that suggest you do both.
The Bible says your body is the temple of the Lord and whoever destroys it God shall destroy.
Jp Zisk :) Ty and glad i got you reading the bible. God Bless
Cellest Alexis Skye: Umm no I just googled it. I have read the bible long ago, not my bag. The only thing you got me to do was to waste my time. :0)
Cellest Alexis Skye: Correction: "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."
1 Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV
Sarah Dyke: WOW
Cellest Alexis Skye: I know!! He's nuts!
Andru Bergdahl: HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA Spaghetti Monster... oh that was good. *wipes tear* oh Cellest... you are a hoot
Cellest Alexis: Skye @ Andru, Terry is my aunt of my cousin Nicole who passed away last year. JP is Nicoles exhusband... Enuff said.
Andru Bergdahl: OH... well Im sorry to hear about Nicole, but I think JP is hilarious. People like him are always hilarious. You can be as big a hypocrite as humanly possible, break all the spaghetti monsters rules, and all you have to do is tell yourself ..."Its okay, the spaghetti monster forgives me of all my sins" and they get to be guilt free. Its not forgiveness, is the self rationalization/delusion that makes them feel better about being a heartless fuck who feels no guilt. If they hide behind the spaghetti monster, then they can blame their ignorance, hypocracy, hatred, on him. "Im not a bad person, I dont hate people or break the rules... well I am and I did but thats just because the spaghetti monster told me to." And thats another thing... don't give me that crap about "The spaghetti monster spoke to me, he told me I was forgiven." Okay, pleae face reality....if you think the spaghetti monster spoke to you and you heard him in your head...its only one of three things, either A: You're a liar, B: It's your imagination or C: You're schitzophrenic.
Maybe I'm just SIN-nicle (ha) but if you expect me to believe in the spaghetti monster, I require proof that he exists, and a babies laughter, dew on a flower field in spring, or the musical stylings of Amy Grant don't count. I mean actual proof that I can see, hear, or touch....that others can also see hear or touch. Science FTW!
Cellest Alexis Skye: Damn right Andru!! I love you woman! Will you be my homosexual baby daddy? :0)
Andru Bergdahl ABSOLUTELY!!!
February 8, 2011
Music and things...
Hello readers. I have not bee very good and keeping up with my blog. Life has been full of stuff lately and Im just barely keeping up.
I have too much to deal with and my mind if going loopy.
I am excited though becuase I have some big plans ready for march so february needs to end already!!!
Here is the newest info on my life:
I have begun a new diet...not being one who enjoys dieting, this is a new experience for me. I am not so much "dieting" as "changing my diet"
I am going to be drinking mostly just water, and will be having one meal a day that is totally raw. Because it is just easier, I am going to have raw veggies and raw fruit for lunch. I heard that this is a great way to improve your overall health, as well as to just feel better. Which I really need. It also assists with weight loss. I am going to be healthier. I need to. I hate feeling like Im in my 70's or 80's when Im 30. Im not well for this at all. So here goes...
What else... OH so I think I am going to buy a newer used (2008 or newer) Scion xB. I miss driving a stick shift, and I need more room in my car. I have a social life again and we like to carpool so the 2 door accord doesnt work too well. If all works out in my favor, i will have my Scion, with a lower payment than I am paying now for my accord, and because the Scion xB is considered a "wagon" my insurance rates will go down, because my accord, though its a 4 cylinder, is considered a sports car because it's a 2door. So Im hoping to save myself some money every month, and get a better, newer, more dependable car. Honda's are incredibly dependable but mine is about to turn 121000 miles, its 7 years old, and I have already dumped $1200 into fixing it a month ago... I can not afford to pay to fix a car AND make payments. So sorry Honda...I love you, but its time to go!
Update on the drama...most of it has either died down and people have moved on, or they just arent talking to me about it....either way, I dont have to deal with it so Im happy. I read a friend's vague passive aggressive facebook status that may or may not have had anything to do with me, (I dont care either way really...) but it said "Your 'I dont give a shit' attitude will catch up with you eventually"
she may have a point... but frankly, the "consequenses" that could come from an indifferent attitude, wont really matter if you dont give a shit. LOL Its like this.... i had a falling out with this guy Rudy a while back and I heard him say "You're gonna regret this, You're going to miss me when Im gone.... " or something like that.... and i told him the same thing:
"What makes you think I care enough about you to give a shit about what you do or where you go from here?"
If you dont care about something... it's never going to catch up to you....because you DONT CARE. If you dont care, then nothing can affect you.
Anyway its something to ponder I supposed. Someone recently asked me "Are you holding on to these friendships that seem to be mostly drama and strife.... because you want them...or because you have had them for so long that you dont want to let them go?" I hate him for asking me that because I dont know. I k now I love my friends, and I know that my friends usually mean well, but on the other hand I know that I am not treated with the respect I deserve, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who cares about maintaining these friendships.
Maybe I should start learning to let people go and see if life keeps up together, or if we drift apart.
I dont think it's fair that I am expected to make the trip to visit them, yet only 3 of them have visited me. Whenever I bring it up I've been told "Well you chose to leave." So I guess Im being punished for wanting more for my life that living in a small county my whole life. Who do I think I am? What makes me think I am so great that I should experience life in other places and explore the world around me??? I must be such a terrible person. **Rolls eyes** yeah well get over it. Im tired of being treated poorly by the people who claim to be friends. I think a friend should be able to talk to you, and disagree with you, without insulting you or making you feel inferior, unintellegent, or over all just WRONG about everything.
So I have put my foot down. If someone doesn't treat me with respect, then Im going to tell them how I feel about it. Im going to demand that I be treated with respect, or I am going to be removing myself from the situation / gathering / whatever. I will not be treated like a child, and I will not be treated with any less respect than they treat other people. I have proven that I can make a life somewhere else, that I can weather the hard times and still get by, that I can make new friends...and if I cant get the respect I deserve, then i have no problem cutting those ties and moving on with my life.
My friend Jill once told me "Poodle (she calls me Poodle tee hee), Poodle you are a big fish in a little pond... you need to get out of the 805 and expand your horizons and even though there are those who might try to drag you down... you just keep going!"
She was right.
Moving onto to music... .OMG i have so much music that Im in love with I cant even tell you!!! actually....yes I can tell you HA
Adele - "Make you feel my love"
Jonatha Brooke - "Walking"
Jonatha Brooke - "Annie"
Jonatha Brooke - "At the still point"
Sara Bareilles - "In Your Eyes"
Nelly - "Just a Dream"
Rihanna - "S&M"
Shawn Colvin - "Shotgun Down the Avalanche" (Live feat. Allison Kraus)
The Weepies - "Happiness"
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - "Your Guardian Angel"
There is a little taste... more to come
OH and I am the proud owner of a new MacBook with a built in mic and camera.... video blogs may start appearing ;-)
I have too much to deal with and my mind if going loopy.
I am excited though becuase I have some big plans ready for march so february needs to end already!!!
Here is the newest info on my life:
I have begun a new diet...not being one who enjoys dieting, this is a new experience for me. I am not so much "dieting" as "changing my diet"
I am going to be drinking mostly just water, and will be having one meal a day that is totally raw. Because it is just easier, I am going to have raw veggies and raw fruit for lunch. I heard that this is a great way to improve your overall health, as well as to just feel better. Which I really need. It also assists with weight loss. I am going to be healthier. I need to. I hate feeling like Im in my 70's or 80's when Im 30. Im not well for this at all. So here goes...
What else... OH so I think I am going to buy a newer used (2008 or newer) Scion xB. I miss driving a stick shift, and I need more room in my car. I have a social life again and we like to carpool so the 2 door accord doesnt work too well. If all works out in my favor, i will have my Scion, with a lower payment than I am paying now for my accord, and because the Scion xB is considered a "wagon" my insurance rates will go down, because my accord, though its a 4 cylinder, is considered a sports car because it's a 2door. So Im hoping to save myself some money every month, and get a better, newer, more dependable car. Honda's are incredibly dependable but mine is about to turn 121000 miles, its 7 years old, and I have already dumped $1200 into fixing it a month ago... I can not afford to pay to fix a car AND make payments. So sorry Honda...I love you, but its time to go!
Update on the drama...most of it has either died down and people have moved on, or they just arent talking to me about it....either way, I dont have to deal with it so Im happy. I read a friend's vague passive aggressive facebook status that may or may not have had anything to do with me, (I dont care either way really...) but it said "Your 'I dont give a shit' attitude will catch up with you eventually"
she may have a point... but frankly, the "consequenses" that could come from an indifferent attitude, wont really matter if you dont give a shit. LOL Its like this.... i had a falling out with this guy Rudy a while back and I heard him say "You're gonna regret this, You're going to miss me when Im gone.... " or something like that.... and i told him the same thing:
"What makes you think I care enough about you to give a shit about what you do or where you go from here?"
If you dont care about something... it's never going to catch up to you....because you DONT CARE. If you dont care, then nothing can affect you.
Anyway its something to ponder I supposed. Someone recently asked me "Are you holding on to these friendships that seem to be mostly drama and strife.... because you want them...or because you have had them for so long that you dont want to let them go?" I hate him for asking me that because I dont know. I k now I love my friends, and I know that my friends usually mean well, but on the other hand I know that I am not treated with the respect I deserve, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who cares about maintaining these friendships.
Maybe I should start learning to let people go and see if life keeps up together, or if we drift apart.
I dont think it's fair that I am expected to make the trip to visit them, yet only 3 of them have visited me. Whenever I bring it up I've been told "Well you chose to leave." So I guess Im being punished for wanting more for my life that living in a small county my whole life. Who do I think I am? What makes me think I am so great that I should experience life in other places and explore the world around me??? I must be such a terrible person. **Rolls eyes** yeah well get over it. Im tired of being treated poorly by the people who claim to be friends. I think a friend should be able to talk to you, and disagree with you, without insulting you or making you feel inferior, unintellegent, or over all just WRONG about everything.
So I have put my foot down. If someone doesn't treat me with respect, then Im going to tell them how I feel about it. Im going to demand that I be treated with respect, or I am going to be removing myself from the situation / gathering / whatever. I will not be treated like a child, and I will not be treated with any less respect than they treat other people. I have proven that I can make a life somewhere else, that I can weather the hard times and still get by, that I can make new friends...and if I cant get the respect I deserve, then i have no problem cutting those ties and moving on with my life.
My friend Jill once told me "Poodle (she calls me Poodle tee hee), Poodle you are a big fish in a little pond... you need to get out of the 805 and expand your horizons and even though there are those who might try to drag you down... you just keep going!"
She was right.
Moving onto to music... .OMG i have so much music that Im in love with I cant even tell you!!! actually....yes I can tell you HA
Adele - "Make you feel my love"
Jonatha Brooke - "Walking"
Jonatha Brooke - "Annie"
Jonatha Brooke - "At the still point"
Sara Bareilles - "In Your Eyes"
Nelly - "Just a Dream"
Rihanna - "S&M"
Shawn Colvin - "Shotgun Down the Avalanche" (Live feat. Allison Kraus)
The Weepies - "Happiness"
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - "Your Guardian Angel"
There is a little taste... more to come
OH and I am the proud owner of a new MacBook with a built in mic and camera.... video blogs may start appearing ;-)
January 14, 2011
OMG the drama
*sigh* If I keep getting thrown into drama, Im gonna start cutting people out of my life. I am fucking 30 years old, I do not have the patience to be dealing with childish, passive aggressive, petty bullshit drama. I am not in high school. I am also sick of being treated like I'm beneath people. If you can't treat me equally, like an adult, and like a friend, then you obviously are not a friend and you can see yourself out of my life. Peace the FUCK OUT.
Im trying so hard to find balance and inner peace with my life, and to let go of the turmoil and the petty dramas...I am trying to treat my friends with the same respect I deserve to be treated with, I am trying to be an honest and truthful person, who can be trusted and more importantly, be taken seriously....because for so long, I wasn't taken seriously, or treated fairly...and Im done.
Yes a big part of this blog is me venting... yes Im sure I will feel better after this is written and even better still tomorrow....but right now, right this second, I feel betrayed. I am not naming names because that would be petty and childish, and Im sure there is one person in particular who will read this and probably assume it is about him...and to him I say: "S...its not about you, relax."
Lemme ask you few and beloved readers of mine....when will I be taken seriously? What is it going to take for people to respect that I am an adult capable of making my own decisions without needing anyones approval or consent? When will I be seen as smart enough to make my own decisions, cuz here I am, 30 years old...and still every decision I make, every thought I share...is picked apart, ridiculed, judged, and discounted.
I don't appreciate it. Maybe from now on I just won't share any more. Maybe I will keep every single thing to myself.
Im trying so hard to find balance and inner peace with my life, and to let go of the turmoil and the petty dramas...I am trying to treat my friends with the same respect I deserve to be treated with, I am trying to be an honest and truthful person, who can be trusted and more importantly, be taken seriously....because for so long, I wasn't taken seriously, or treated fairly...and Im done.
Yes a big part of this blog is me venting... yes Im sure I will feel better after this is written and even better still tomorrow....but right now, right this second, I feel betrayed. I am not naming names because that would be petty and childish, and Im sure there is one person in particular who will read this and probably assume it is about him...and to him I say: "S...its not about you, relax."
Lemme ask you few and beloved readers of mine....when will I be taken seriously? What is it going to take for people to respect that I am an adult capable of making my own decisions without needing anyones approval or consent? When will I be seen as smart enough to make my own decisions, cuz here I am, 30 years old...and still every decision I make, every thought I share...is picked apart, ridiculed, judged, and discounted.
I don't appreciate it. Maybe from now on I just won't share any more. Maybe I will keep every single thing to myself.
January 6, 2011
I broke a fucking nail.
I know it sounds trivial and super gay but its true and its pissing me off. My right middle finger nail is chipped and broken and I dont even know how I did it.
Things havent changed much. Im a poverty individual, broke all the time, and overworked and underpaid.
But Im not depressed. My HS is going nuts and Im in pain...but still, im not in an all together bad mood. its weird. Im actually kind of okay. I had a good new years... OMG can I just tell you...
So new years eve, i got a little drunky and this guy who is bi and who has had a weird time dealing with it....kissed me. Well my friend A got all mad because she has been fucking him. Now look, i understand she was made cuz we kissed in her house... but that's where the party was A, and B..it was a drunken new years kiss and YOURE JUST FUCKING HIM... there is no relationship, and I heard that from her mouth. Anyway...so then it becomes a respect issue and she threw "the girl/bro/friend" code at me and Im like...uhh... thats a joke. We arent 15 yrs old. You aren't his girl friend, stop acting like you dont care. She said that if I wanted to mess around with him somewhere else thats fine, but not in her house.
once again, it was JUST a kiss. And please, you wanna act like it wouldnt bother you? LIES.... HERESY AND LIES. I KNOW she would have been just as pissed off had he and I kissed in her house or three counties away, i know this because she threw the girl code bullshit at me. So this boils down to her being jealous because the guy she is fucking, for one night, didnt want her. he wanted me. He even spent the night there with her and they didnt have sex!! NEWS FLASH GIRL... DONT DATE/OR GET ATTACHED TO BISEXUAL MEN. And cut the shit, you dont get to jealous and controlling of who he kisses unless he is your boyfriend, and he isnt.
I apologized sincerely to her because she was super upset and making this into some big ol' drama...talking to our mutual friends about it....and didnt even talk to me like an adult about it either, she came at me with attitude and drama. I simply replied to her bluntly and truthfully. Yes I am sorry that I hurt my friends feelings, but frankly, she is making a MUCH bigger deal out of this that it needs to be, she is completely over reacting, and I think the whole thing is so juvenile. But, as frustrating as this is for me, and as badly as I needed to vent.... I can understand where she is coming from. Amoungst the overreacting...she had a valid point. She apparently had "peed on that hydrant" for the evening, and when he approached me for the kiss, I didnt say no. so I understand why she is upset. But what bothers me is that she is making me out to he be bad friend, when the truth is, if she would just face her feelings for him, and quit trying to fool herself (cuz she aint foolin anyone else) then these types of situations wouldnt happen. It's like when you hit a pot hole and you have to have the allignment fixed in your car. Sure you get mad at the pot hole for being there... but you were the one driving. If you werent paying attention then its not entirely the pot hole's fault. (I am the pot hole, He is the car, she was the driver)
The whole thing is stupid and blown way out of proportion...but I guess that's what ya have to deal with when you have passive agressive behavior & ovaries.
Now she feels like "a trust has been broken and its going to take time to heal that trust." Another example of it being blown way out of proportion...but whatever makes her happy I guess. I said that I understand and left it at that.
There is a part of me that genuinely is trying to understand how my friend, whom I love dearly, is feeling.... but there's the rest of me that's like "Why is this such a huge deal? No one made it this huge a deal when One of my other friends was chasing after all the guys I had fucked!!!!" I guess because to me it was harmless meaningless kissing, I dont see what the big deal is. Well I apologized, thats all I can do. it's not my problem anymore. I want to keep her as a friend, I really do think highly of her, but I guess everyone is allowed to over react, just like everyone is allowed to do something stupid when theyre drunk.
Anyway, the NEXT day... I kissed Joseph. He is a friend of mine Ive known for a while and have had a crush on for a while, but he wasnt single...he was with the mother of his beautiful child.... now he is single...and embracing his bisexuality. I realize this sounds hypocritical from the previous paragraph but hear me out: Joseph knows, accepts, and embraces who he is. He is not confused, or figuring things out. He knows. I like that. I can live with that. and he is a REALLY GOOD KISSER.
Then sunday I kissed some random guy I hooked up with back in the day...cuz he was there and he kept saying i was sex and had a great smile. Nothing works as well as flattery. LOL
THATS my new year. I am impatiently waiting for my tax stuff so I can go online and turbo tax my refund. Mama needs a macbook. hahaha AND I get a 50 discount for being a university of phoenix student...so heeeey. AND i have a friend who has the hook up on all the best Apple software. My mac's gonna be PIMP.
OH and check this out yall.... I have decided that Im getting a new car in March. As usual I have multiple cars that I would be very happy with... and HERES THE LIST:
These are the "I will totally drive one if I can't get my first choice" list:
Nissan Xterra
VW Jetta
Honda Accord Coupe
Mazda CX7
there are a few others but here is what I have decided will be my NEW CAR... This is my first choice:
The 2011 Hyundai Elantra
It's so beautiful and sleek. I must have it.
OKAY Im out of shit to talk about. SEE YA!!!!
Things havent changed much. Im a poverty individual, broke all the time, and overworked and underpaid.
But Im not depressed. My HS is going nuts and Im in pain...but still, im not in an all together bad mood. its weird. Im actually kind of okay. I had a good new years... OMG can I just tell you...
So new years eve, i got a little drunky and this guy who is bi and who has had a weird time dealing with it....kissed me. Well my friend A got all mad because she has been fucking him. Now look, i understand she was made cuz we kissed in her house... but that's where the party was A, and B..it was a drunken new years kiss and YOURE JUST FUCKING HIM... there is no relationship, and I heard that from her mouth. Anyway...so then it becomes a respect issue and she threw "the girl/bro/friend" code at me and Im like...uhh... thats a joke. We arent 15 yrs old. You aren't his girl friend, stop acting like you dont care. She said that if I wanted to mess around with him somewhere else thats fine, but not in her house.
once again, it was JUST a kiss. And please, you wanna act like it wouldnt bother you? LIES.... HERESY AND LIES. I KNOW she would have been just as pissed off had he and I kissed in her house or three counties away, i know this because she threw the girl code bullshit at me. So this boils down to her being jealous because the guy she is fucking, for one night, didnt want her. he wanted me. He even spent the night there with her and they didnt have sex!! NEWS FLASH GIRL... DONT DATE/OR GET ATTACHED TO BISEXUAL MEN. And cut the shit, you dont get to jealous and controlling of who he kisses unless he is your boyfriend, and he isnt.
I apologized sincerely to her because she was super upset and making this into some big ol' drama...talking to our mutual friends about it....and didnt even talk to me like an adult about it either, she came at me with attitude and drama. I simply replied to her bluntly and truthfully. Yes I am sorry that I hurt my friends feelings, but frankly, she is making a MUCH bigger deal out of this that it needs to be, she is completely over reacting, and I think the whole thing is so juvenile. But, as frustrating as this is for me, and as badly as I needed to vent.... I can understand where she is coming from. Amoungst the overreacting...she had a valid point. She apparently had "peed on that hydrant" for the evening, and when he approached me for the kiss, I didnt say no. so I understand why she is upset. But what bothers me is that she is making me out to he be bad friend, when the truth is, if she would just face her feelings for him, and quit trying to fool herself (cuz she aint foolin anyone else) then these types of situations wouldnt happen. It's like when you hit a pot hole and you have to have the allignment fixed in your car. Sure you get mad at the pot hole for being there... but you were the one driving. If you werent paying attention then its not entirely the pot hole's fault. (I am the pot hole, He is the car, she was the driver)
The whole thing is stupid and blown way out of proportion...but I guess that's what ya have to deal with when you have passive agressive behavior & ovaries.
Now she feels like "a trust has been broken and its going to take time to heal that trust." Another example of it being blown way out of proportion...but whatever makes her happy I guess. I said that I understand and left it at that.
There is a part of me that genuinely is trying to understand how my friend, whom I love dearly, is feeling.... but there's the rest of me that's like "Why is this such a huge deal? No one made it this huge a deal when One of my other friends was chasing after all the guys I had fucked!!!!" I guess because to me it was harmless meaningless kissing, I dont see what the big deal is. Well I apologized, thats all I can do. it's not my problem anymore. I want to keep her as a friend, I really do think highly of her, but I guess everyone is allowed to over react, just like everyone is allowed to do something stupid when theyre drunk.
Anyway, the NEXT day... I kissed Joseph. He is a friend of mine Ive known for a while and have had a crush on for a while, but he wasnt single...he was with the mother of his beautiful child.... now he is single...and embracing his bisexuality. I realize this sounds hypocritical from the previous paragraph but hear me out: Joseph knows, accepts, and embraces who he is. He is not confused, or figuring things out. He knows. I like that. I can live with that. and he is a REALLY GOOD KISSER.
Then sunday I kissed some random guy I hooked up with back in the day...cuz he was there and he kept saying i was sex and had a great smile. Nothing works as well as flattery. LOL
THATS my new year. I am impatiently waiting for my tax stuff so I can go online and turbo tax my refund. Mama needs a macbook. hahaha AND I get a 50 discount for being a university of phoenix student...so heeeey. AND i have a friend who has the hook up on all the best Apple software. My mac's gonna be PIMP.
OH and check this out yall.... I have decided that Im getting a new car in March. As usual I have multiple cars that I would be very happy with... and HERES THE LIST:
These are the "I will totally drive one if I can't get my first choice" list:
Nissan Xterra
VW Jetta
Honda Accord Coupe
Mazda CX7
there are a few others but here is what I have decided will be my NEW CAR... This is my first choice:
The 2011 Hyundai Elantra
It's so beautiful and sleek. I must have it.
OKAY Im out of shit to talk about. SEE YA!!!!
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