I have heard alot of jokes over the years, and here are some of the best...at least the best in my mind cuz I laughed the hardest. OH and B-T-dubs, I am NOT taking credit for any of these jokes.
BE ADVISED: The following jokes are offensive, racist, sexist, anti gay/jew/blonde etc etc. Please remember, satire is needed. Please have a sense of humor and enough brain capacity to remember that I may not necessarily believe in the words in these jokes, but i found them funny...because I have a sense of humor. If you think they are NOT funny and get all butt hurt and "boo-boo kitty face" about them...spare the hate mail. Cuz I'll destroy you in every way possible.
Summary....pull your head out of your ass and laugh.
Here we go:
What do you say to a black man in a 3-piece suit? "Will the Defendant please rise."
(you can replace "black man" with "Chris Brown" if you wish.)
What's the difference between black folks, and tires? Tires don't sing "amazing Grace" when you put chains on them.
What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.
What's a Jew's biggest dilemma? Free Pork
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and Acne? Acne will wait until the boy is at LEAST 14 yrs old before it fucks his face.
What's fun for 9 out of 10 people? Gang Rape.
What do you call a bloody tampon in warm water? Vampire's Teabag.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothin, ya done told her twice.
How do you castrate a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What does the 12 yr old virgin from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity? "get off me Pa, yer smashin my smokes!"
What's the difference between "choose" and "Select"? Select is when you make a choice, choose are what mexicans wear on their feet.
What happened to the black woman who had an abortion? She got a check in the mail from Crime Stoppers.
What's the difference between a fag and a rooster? Rooster says "Cock-a-doodle dooooo!!" and a fag says "Any Cock'll Doooooo!!!"
How do you blind fold an asian? Dental Floss.
What do you name a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? "Sparky"
What do you name a dog with one eye, three legs and no teeth? "Lucky"
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