Good Times

Well, I was in SD for two weeks, now Im back in the 805 for a week or so. So Ill be in the east end of Ventura at Amanda's house hangin out with her two kick ass dogs, Carly and Guinness. There will be pictures. :-)

**Special Private Note for someone special who totally knows who she is: you make my day brighter. I kinda feel like I might need you in my life. xoxo**

moving on...

okay...so I've been thinking lately that the gay community in California...specifically the Bear's little sector...is far too small. it makes me a little sick that I cant escape my ex no matter what I do. He is the only ex who lingers. Its not that I hate him. I dont. I just am not a big fan of what kind of person he has become. Im also not at a point where Im comfortable making jokes with him or bringing up our past relationship. I think he thinks we are friends. Good friends. and that everything with us is peachy and everything is perfect. WRONG. I am over him, Im not in love with him, havent been in a LONG time...but I never forgave him for what he did to me, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let him think otherwise. Bottom line: seeing him makes my stomach hurt a lil bit, i cant explain it, its like...even though I care about him, and am SOMETIMES happy to see or hear from him.... whenever he is talked about, or I see him somewhere, or he texts me, or whatever...my immediate reaction is negative. A look of "ugh ew" comes to my face, my stomach gets that weird gross feeling, and I immediately wanna turn and walk away. But sometimes, that is just for a second or two then Im like "aw he had a nice comment to make on my facebook,isn't that nice of him." WEIRD> I dont know, he seems to have this idea that he is gonna come visit me in San Diego.... thats laughable. Its nice that he wants to. Obviously he wants to have a good healthy friendship with me, I just dont know if I can. Besides, its weird enough that we are ex's.... on top of that he has a bf, and did he think he was gonna bring his bf to my house?? cuz NO. thats not okay, and him coming without his bf, to visit his exbf...would be weird, if I were his bf I wouldnt be okay with that. Hell Im not okay with him coming to visit me in SD. OH and he asked if he could STAY AT MY HOUSE>... am I on glue? Is this happening? I dont think so ex boyfriend. no no. I cant give a valid reason, I cant explain why, but it feels VERY wrong to me. I think I may still have some hurt feelings, and disappointments, and maybe Im still a little mad at him...I dont know...I cant figure it out, so its just easier to avoid him, his existence, and just focus on ANYTHING else. Part of me feels bad for having such a natural negative reaction towards my ex....and the other part of me says "well if thats your natural reaction, go with it." \

I hate when I have these moments that I think about him or am forced to deal with him. ugh.

Anyway, on to bigger, longer, thicker, and harder things.... ;-)

So everything is okay for right now, just waiting for Sallie Mae Financial to confirm my student loan so money can come in hopefully before I DIE.

I got my bunny monsterz!!!!!!!! I named them Quintin and Foo-Foo-Cuddly-Poops
Pictures will happen dont worry. OH and Im thinking I might have a blog comic strip staring my bunny monsters. Yes I have too much time on my hands, but you never know, I may have just created the next icanhazcheezburger.com or Robot Chicken. So dont judge me.


OH and I highly recommend that you go out and buy "Punk goes Pop" buy both 1 and 2. SO FUN!



okay Im outtie bitches. love yer faces.