Hello readers. I have not bee very good and keeping up with my blog. Life has been full of stuff lately and Im just barely keeping up.
I have too much to deal with and my mind if going loopy.
I am excited though becuase I have some big plans ready for march so february needs to end already!!!
Here is the newest info on my life:
I have begun a new diet...not being one who enjoys dieting, this is a new experience for me. I am not so much "dieting" as "changing my diet"
I am going to be drinking mostly just water, and will be having one meal a day that is totally raw. Because it is just easier, I am going to have raw veggies and raw fruit for lunch. I heard that this is a great way to improve your overall health, as well as to just feel better. Which I really need. It also assists with weight loss. I am going to be healthier. I need to. I hate feeling like Im in my 70's or 80's when Im 30. Im not well for this at all. So here goes...
What else... OH so I think I am going to buy a newer used (2008 or newer) Scion xB. I miss driving a stick shift, and I need more room in my car. I have a social life again and we like to carpool so the 2 door accord doesnt work too well. If all works out in my favor, i will have my Scion, with a lower payment than I am paying now for my accord, and because the Scion xB is considered a "wagon" my insurance rates will go down, because my accord, though its a 4 cylinder, is considered a sports car because it's a 2door. So Im hoping to save myself some money every month, and get a better, newer, more dependable car. Honda's are incredibly dependable but mine is about to turn 121000 miles, its 7 years old, and I have already dumped $1200 into fixing it a month ago... I can not afford to pay to fix a car AND make payments. So sorry Honda...I love you, but its time to go!
Update on the drama...most of it has either died down and people have moved on, or they just arent talking to me about it....either way, I dont have to deal with it so Im happy. I read a friend's vague passive aggressive facebook status that may or may not have had anything to do with me, (I dont care either way really...) but it said "Your 'I dont give a shit' attitude will catch up with you eventually"
she may have a point... but frankly, the "consequenses" that could come from an indifferent attitude, wont really matter if you dont give a shit. LOL Its like this.... i had a falling out with this guy Rudy a while back and I heard him say "You're gonna regret this, You're going to miss me when Im gone.... " or something like that.... and i told him the same thing:
"What makes you think I care enough about you to give a shit about what you do or where you go from here?"
If you dont care about something... it's never going to catch up to you....because you DONT CARE. If you dont care, then nothing can affect you.
Anyway its something to ponder I supposed. Someone recently asked me "Are you holding on to these friendships that seem to be mostly drama and strife.... because you want them...or because you have had them for so long that you dont want to let them go?" I hate him for asking me that because I dont know. I k now I love my friends, and I know that my friends usually mean well, but on the other hand I know that I am not treated with the respect I deserve, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who cares about maintaining these friendships.
Maybe I should start learning to let people go and see if life keeps up together, or if we drift apart.
I dont think it's fair that I am expected to make the trip to visit them, yet only 3 of them have visited me. Whenever I bring it up I've been told "Well you chose to leave." So I guess Im being punished for wanting more for my life that living in a small county my whole life. Who do I think I am? What makes me think I am so great that I should experience life in other places and explore the world around me??? I must be such a terrible person. **Rolls eyes** yeah well get over it. Im tired of being treated poorly by the people who claim to be friends. I think a friend should be able to talk to you, and disagree with you, without insulting you or making you feel inferior, unintellegent, or over all just WRONG about everything.
So I have put my foot down. If someone doesn't treat me with respect, then Im going to tell them how I feel about it. Im going to demand that I be treated with respect, or I am going to be removing myself from the situation / gathering / whatever. I will not be treated like a child, and I will not be treated with any less respect than they treat other people. I have proven that I can make a life somewhere else, that I can weather the hard times and still get by, that I can make new friends...and if I cant get the respect I deserve, then i have no problem cutting those ties and moving on with my life.
My friend Jill once told me "Poodle (she calls me Poodle tee hee), Poodle you are a big fish in a little pond... you need to get out of the 805 and expand your horizons and even though there are those who might try to drag you down... you just keep going!"
She was right.
Moving onto to music... .OMG i have so much music that Im in love with I cant even tell you!!! actually....yes I can tell you HA
Adele - "Make you feel my love"
Jonatha Brooke - "Walking"
Jonatha Brooke - "Annie"
Jonatha Brooke - "At the still point"
Sara Bareilles - "In Your Eyes"
Nelly - "Just a Dream"
Rihanna - "S&M"
Shawn Colvin - "Shotgun Down the Avalanche" (Live feat. Allison Kraus)
The Weepies - "Happiness"
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - "Your Guardian Angel"
There is a little taste... more to come
OH and I am the proud owner of a new MacBook with a built in mic and camera.... video blogs may start appearing ;-)
2 comments:
I have to say that the question posed by your friend as to why you are still hanging onto those friendships is a unique one and true.
It is hard for people to let go of friends they have had forever, but life experience changes people and with that your friends.
I always thought it was such a huge jump for you to leave here and move to SD. That takes guts and a belief that things are going to be ok. You are a much stronger person than people give you credit for.
You might actually find out they are jealous because you set out on your own like that with no safety net and they can't.
YOU ROCK ANDY!!!!!!
in my case, i hold on to friends despite the drama becuz of all the good times we had. and yes, YOU DESERVE some respect. just becuz you had to move doesn't mean that you don't deserved to be visited. since you are doing the visiting and all.
and the "Well you chose to leave." is just bullshit the way i see it. i am sorry that i have said that, maybe i shouldn't have.
"I think a friend should be able to talk to you, and disagree with you, without insulting you or making you feel inferior, unintellegent, or over all just WRONG about everything." <--- and if a friend fails to do a thing simple is that, is just really bad at being one.
usually i treat people the way they treat me. i dont visit the ones that don't visit me. don't call or text the ones that doesn't do the same.
and yes SHE WAS RIGHT! give her a hug from me!
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