um....What?

Every so often I come across someone who doesn't understand certain things that come out of my mouth. This morning when I walked in the office at exactly 7:59 this morning and my boss Tom, funny man that he is, says "oh you made it....I almost had to get my "firin' stick." I stopped dead in my tracks and said "Did you just say "firin' stick?" He gave a sly grin..."Yep. its like the getting the hook when you are bombing on stage." So without missing a beat, in true Andru fashion, I said to him "Tom, you can't fire me for almost being late, besides, I was surfin the crimson wave I had to haul ass to the ladies..." and walked to my desk. LOL Anyone who has seen 'Clueless' knows that phrase and knows what it means. Tom apparently lived under a rock in the 90's cuz he has no clue what I was talking about. Imagine how uncomfortable I was having to explain the DETAILS of such a phrase to my middle aged (yet very hip) boss. He laughed at the choice of words, then was flummuxed again...trying to figure out why my period would make me late...I'm a guy.
Maybe its just better if I say "sorry dog ate my homework" or "Sorry boss, I stopped at the titty bar and got caught up" ya know, something a heterosexual would understand and not punish me for. *sigh*

Hmm what else.....OH okay so this morning on the way to work, I was travelling at a MODEST 85 mph, cuz I was late but there was no traffic so thank god for that....and this woman decides to tail me....and I mean TAIL ME...like Im going 85...in the MIDDLE LANE mind you...and she is so close to my back bumper that I cant see her headlights. So this immediate pisses me off and I slam on my brakes real fast, then downshift into 3rd gear and floor it! She was not a happy camper. My reasoning behind it is..."well bitch, you could've passed me, instead you chose to ride my ass... so if I decide to slow down...suddenly... that's your bad!! Now fuck off before I kick you in the Spam Purse!!" She decided to flash her lights at me over and over while getting closer and closer to my rear bumper...AGAIN. I'm thinking she must not know 'bout me....bitch better ask somebody, cuz I dont play that shit!! So I yanked my parking brake for about 3 seconds, giving her a real shock because not only did my brake lights not come on, but the rear tires lock up, screech terribly, and the tires smoke. Oh I scared the living shit outta that woman!! Then I turned on my windshield sprayers, just to add insult to injury my getting her car wet...and drove off with a happy grin on my face. I looked in the mirror and she was stopped in the center median. With any luck she hit the cement wall. I know thats not a very nice thing to say...but the difference between me, and most other people, is if YOU cause the problem, and I am just minding my own business....and you get owned cuz you pissed me off....that's YOUR PROBLEM AND YOUR BAD and I dont feel sorry for you. As the fabulous Naysheen said: "You wanna throw words at me bitch? You better have a huge catcher's mit, cuz I'll throw em right back. I dont play that kinda ball...Game Over."

I know that's right.

That's all for now. It's only 9am, the day is young. >:-)

I hope you all have fabulous days... HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!