This guy, Maddox...has the best website in the universe. He i opinionated and kinda jaded. I love it. He gets hate mail from simple minded fools who think the world should either be a giant kegger or a disney film. He gets people like Jock-douchebags " I used to beat up geeky losers like you in college"....yeah cuz that was an effective way to of spending a college tuition...YOURE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE AND THE GEEKS ARE NOW YOUR EMPLOYERS....now mow their lawns quietly or get out!
This one is my favorite. I hope Maddox doesnt get upset that I copied and pasted his brilliant words. I just wanted to share with my readers, the hilarity and frank no bullshit words of MADDOX.
He posts his hate mail and responds to it...here is a sample:
Date: Wed, 7 May 2003 10:12:47 -0600
From: TH <######> (removed)
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: new section
Hey Loser,
I know you probably get a lot of hate mail which made me hesitate to
write you. But I have to for my own satisfaction. You are incredibly
ignorant and petty. It is obvious that you have absolutely no life
whatsoever and take incredible joy in ripping on people that you envy,
such as me. You see, I have a good, well-paying job and I am only 21. I
graduated from CU last spring at the age of 20 with a BA in business and
currently work for a successful entrepreneur in Boulder, CO while
interning for a member of the Colorado State Board of Education in
Denver. I have accomplished more in my young life than you ever will. I
dare you to post this email. I dare you to even attempt to insult or
degrade me. What could you possibly say in response to what I have
said? I have met people like you in person. People who bitch and moan
about everything just because our world allows them the right and ability
to do so in a controlled environment such as the internet. I wonder what
you would say to someone like me if we met on the streets. You are a
coward.
Sincerely
P.S. You should do a section on how stupid people can make websites
insulting the world from their home while regularly taking breaks to
masturbate to internet porn. Or about dumb fucking webmasters you think
they’re super internet pimps because they can hide behind their
computer and never actually take responsibility for their actions.
I like to consider myself a reasonable man. For example, when someone sends me hate mail from their work account, I reply and explain to them why it's a bad idea for them to continue to harass me.
Case in point: I received this email from some guy (who I will refer to as Chump Change going forward) yesterday. I warned Chump Change that it was a terrible idea to send me hate mail from his work account, because I'm sure his employer wouldn't want to convey the image that his company employs dipshits. Chump Change disregarded my warnings and continued to email me, so I've posted his address (update: address has since been removed). I sure hope his employer doesn't find out, because it would be a damn shame if Chump Change got fired for screwing around on the job.
Now as for his email: Chump Change claims that I enjoy "ripping on people" who I "envy"? I replied to this email and found out that he makes $6,000 less than I did at the age of 21, and I don't even have a degree. What exactly am I envying here? Your Bachelor of Arts degree in Business? Wow, impressive; way to challenge yourself Chump Change. I did a bit of research and found out some of the classes that are required for graduation in "Business" at Colorado University:
# Business Computing Skills
# Profiles in American Enterprise
# Introductory Finance
# Business Statistics
I'm sure it was quite an accomplishment to pass "Business Computing Skills," no really, it must have been very demanding having to learn how to use Microsoft Office, right up there with other lofty challenges like learning how to zip your fly without getting your dick caught. Tell you what, I'll teach you this course free of charge. In fact, I can teach you the entire course by using only two keystrokes; be sure to take notes! Ready? Here it is: F1 (press it to bring up the help menu). Damn Chump Change, you should have asked me first, I could have saved you thousands of dollars teaching you how to use programs that require little more than bashing your head on the keyboard to operate, dumbass.
Then you have "Business Statistics," or as I call it, a "math for morons" course. The lowest common denominator of math class is a "business" math class, where you learn a shit-load of nothing. I'm sure you'll have no trouble landing an exciting job in Real Estate Appraisal with those credentials. Your dad, who I'm sure probably paid for your lazy unmotivated dumbass to get through college, must be proud. Stand tall Chump Change, you've managed to do what only a few hundred million other people are able to do every year:
Congratulations! You're mediocre.
I don't get it; how can you jackasses call me a "coward" by posting on my website? Did you not notice the picture of me on the main page? What exactly am I hiding from? I get recognized in public all the time, don't you think that if I was afraid that I wouldn't post my badass pirate picture on the internet for millions to see? Then you claim I have no life? News flash: I only update about once a week. I work a full time job and go to school (I'm near completion of a major that requires more than a pulse to graduate from), and I update this site IN MY SPARE TIME. When is the last time a few million people gave a shit about anything you wrote in your spare time, other than having your email posted on my site (which I'm sure will be the highlight of your boring life)?
In a desperate attempt to sound smart, Chump Change wrote this in another email:
"I think you are a puppet of our pop-culture views of wit and talent."
Oh really? First of all, you make the assumption that anyone other than you shares your opinion of what "wit" and "talent" are. Ignoring the fact that this assumption was pulled out of your ass, you think that I'm a "puppet" of "views"? How exactly can one be a "puppet of views," dipshit? It doesn't even make sense you dolt.
In closing, Chump Change has made a special request. He would like to know the answer to the following question:
"Why would I get hate mail if you posted MY hate mail on YOUR site?! Dumbass"
Update: Chump Change broke down a record 20 minutes after this email was posted (after he received a flood of hate mail), and asked that his email address be removed. I'm a reasonable man, so his name and email address have been removed, with this final note:
"Maddox, I am sincerely apologetic... Please please take it down. If you any shred of decency please. This is all wrong. Please take it off."
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