This guy, Maddox...has the best website in the universe. He i opinionated and kinda jaded. I love it. He gets hate mail from simple minded fools who think the world should either be a giant kegger or a disney film. He gets people like Jock-douchebags " I used to beat up geeky losers like you in college"....yeah cuz that was an effective way to of spending a college tuition...YOURE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE AND THE GEEKS ARE NOW YOUR EMPLOYERS....now mow their lawns quietly or get out!
This one is my favorite. I hope Maddox doesnt get upset that I copied and pasted his brilliant words. I just wanted to share with my readers, the hilarity and frank no bullshit words of MADDOX.
He posts his hate mail and responds to it...here is a sample:
Date: Wed, 7 May 2003 10:12:47 -0600
From: TH <######> (removed)
To: maddox@xmission.com
Subject: new section
Hey Loser,
I know you probably get a lot of hate mail which made me hesitate to
write you. But I have to for my own satisfaction. You are incredibly
ignorant and petty. It is obvious that you have absolutely no life
whatsoever and take incredible joy in ripping on people that you envy,
such as me. You see, I have a good, well-paying job and I am only 21. I
graduated from CU last spring at the age of 20 with a BA in business and
currently work for a successful entrepreneur in Boulder, CO while
interning for a member of the Colorado State Board of Education in
Denver. I have accomplished more in my young life than you ever will. I
dare you to post this email. I dare you to even attempt to insult or
degrade me. What could you possibly say in response to what I have
said? I have met people like you in person. People who bitch and moan
about everything just because our world allows them the right and ability
to do so in a controlled environment such as the internet. I wonder what
you would say to someone like me if we met on the streets. You are a
coward.
Sincerely
P.S. You should do a section on how stupid people can make websites
insulting the world from their home while regularly taking breaks to
masturbate to internet porn. Or about dumb fucking webmasters you think
they’re super internet pimps because they can hide behind their
computer and never actually take responsibility for their actions.
I like to consider myself a reasonable man. For example, when someone sends me hate mail from their work account, I reply and explain to them why it's a bad idea for them to continue to harass me.
Case in point: I received this email from some guy (who I will refer to as Chump Change going forward) yesterday. I warned Chump Change that it was a terrible idea to send me hate mail from his work account, because I'm sure his employer wouldn't want to convey the image that his company employs dipshits. Chump Change disregarded my warnings and continued to email me, so I've posted his address (update: address has since been removed). I sure hope his employer doesn't find out, because it would be a damn shame if Chump Change got fired for screwing around on the job.
Now as for his email: Chump Change claims that I enjoy "ripping on people" who I "envy"? I replied to this email and found out that he makes $6,000 less than I did at the age of 21, and I don't even have a degree. What exactly am I envying here? Your Bachelor of Arts degree in Business? Wow, impressive; way to challenge yourself Chump Change. I did a bit of research and found out some of the classes that are required for graduation in "Business" at Colorado University:
# Business Computing Skills
# Profiles in American Enterprise
# Introductory Finance
# Business Statistics
I'm sure it was quite an accomplishment to pass "Business Computing Skills," no really, it must have been very demanding having to learn how to use Microsoft Office, right up there with other lofty challenges like learning how to zip your fly without getting your dick caught. Tell you what, I'll teach you this course free of charge. In fact, I can teach you the entire course by using only two keystrokes; be sure to take notes! Ready? Here it is: F1 (press it to bring up the help menu). Damn Chump Change, you should have asked me first, I could have saved you thousands of dollars teaching you how to use programs that require little more than bashing your head on the keyboard to operate, dumbass.
Then you have "Business Statistics," or as I call it, a "math for morons" course. The lowest common denominator of math class is a "business" math class, where you learn a shit-load of nothing. I'm sure you'll have no trouble landing an exciting job in Real Estate Appraisal with those credentials. Your dad, who I'm sure probably paid for your lazy unmotivated dumbass to get through college, must be proud. Stand tall Chump Change, you've managed to do what only a few hundred million other people are able to do every year:
Congratulations! You're mediocre.
I don't get it; how can you jackasses call me a "coward" by posting on my website? Did you not notice the picture of me on the main page? What exactly am I hiding from? I get recognized in public all the time, don't you think that if I was afraid that I wouldn't post my badass pirate picture on the internet for millions to see? Then you claim I have no life? News flash: I only update about once a week. I work a full time job and go to school (I'm near completion of a major that requires more than a pulse to graduate from), and I update this site IN MY SPARE TIME. When is the last time a few million people gave a shit about anything you wrote in your spare time, other than having your email posted on my site (which I'm sure will be the highlight of your boring life)?
In a desperate attempt to sound smart, Chump Change wrote this in another email:
"I think you are a puppet of our pop-culture views of wit and talent."
Oh really? First of all, you make the assumption that anyone other than you shares your opinion of what "wit" and "talent" are. Ignoring the fact that this assumption was pulled out of your ass, you think that I'm a "puppet" of "views"? How exactly can one be a "puppet of views," dipshit? It doesn't even make sense you dolt.
In closing, Chump Change has made a special request. He would like to know the answer to the following question:
"Why would I get hate mail if you posted MY hate mail on YOUR site?! Dumbass"
Update: Chump Change broke down a record 20 minutes after this email was posted (after he received a flood of hate mail), and asked that his email address be removed. I'm a reasonable man, so his name and email address have been removed, with this final note:
"Maddox, I am sincerely apologetic... Please please take it down. If you any shred of decency please. This is all wrong. Please take it off."
Showing posts with label Andru. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Andru. Show all posts
September 5, 2008
August 29, 2008
um....What?
Every so often I come across someone who doesn't understand certain things that come out of my mouth. This morning when I walked in the office at exactly 7:59 this morning and my boss Tom, funny man that he is, says "oh you made it....I almost had to get my "firin' stick." I stopped dead in my tracks and said "Did you just say "firin' stick?" He gave a sly grin..."Yep. its like the getting the hook when you are bombing on stage." So without missing a beat, in true Andru fashion, I said to him "Tom, you can't fire me for almost being late, besides, I was surfin the crimson wave I had to haul ass to the ladies..." and walked to my desk. LOL Anyone who has seen 'Clueless' knows that phrase and knows what it means. Tom apparently lived under a rock in the 90's cuz he has no clue what I was talking about. Imagine how uncomfortable I was having to explain the DETAILS of such a phrase to my middle aged (yet very hip) boss. He laughed at the choice of words, then was flummuxed again...trying to figure out why my period would make me late...I'm a guy.
Maybe its just better if I say "sorry dog ate my homework" or "Sorry boss, I stopped at the titty bar and got caught up" ya know, something a heterosexual would understand and not punish me for. *sigh*
Hmm what else.....OH okay so this morning on the way to work, I was travelling at a MODEST 85 mph, cuz I was late but there was no traffic so thank god for that....and this woman decides to tail me....and I mean TAIL ME...like Im going 85...in the MIDDLE LANE mind you...and she is so close to my back bumper that I cant see her headlights. So this immediate pisses me off and I slam on my brakes real fast, then downshift into 3rd gear and floor it! She was not a happy camper. My reasoning behind it is..."well bitch, you could've passed me, instead you chose to ride my ass... so if I decide to slow down...suddenly... that's your bad!! Now fuck off before I kick you in the Spam Purse!!" She decided to flash her lights at me over and over while getting closer and closer to my rear bumper...AGAIN. I'm thinking she must not know 'bout me....bitch better ask somebody, cuz I dont play that shit!! So I yanked my parking brake for about 3 seconds, giving her a real shock because not only did my brake lights not come on, but the rear tires lock up, screech terribly, and the tires smoke. Oh I scared the living shit outta that woman!! Then I turned on my windshield sprayers, just to add insult to injury my getting her car wet...and drove off with a happy grin on my face. I looked in the mirror and she was stopped in the center median. With any luck she hit the cement wall. I know thats not a very nice thing to say...but the difference between me, and most other people, is if YOU cause the problem, and I am just minding my own business....and you get owned cuz you pissed me off....that's YOUR PROBLEM AND YOUR BAD and I dont feel sorry for you. As the fabulous Naysheen said: "You wanna throw words at me bitch? You better have a huge catcher's mit, cuz I'll throw em right back. I dont play that kinda ball...Game Over."
I know that's right.
That's all for now. It's only 9am, the day is young. >:-)
I hope you all have fabulous days... HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!
Maybe its just better if I say "sorry dog ate my homework" or "Sorry boss, I stopped at the titty bar and got caught up" ya know, something a heterosexual would understand and not punish me for. *sigh*
Hmm what else.....OH okay so this morning on the way to work, I was travelling at a MODEST 85 mph, cuz I was late but there was no traffic so thank god for that....and this woman decides to tail me....and I mean TAIL ME...like Im going 85...in the MIDDLE LANE mind you...and she is so close to my back bumper that I cant see her headlights. So this immediate pisses me off and I slam on my brakes real fast, then downshift into 3rd gear and floor it! She was not a happy camper. My reasoning behind it is..."well bitch, you could've passed me, instead you chose to ride my ass... so if I decide to slow down...suddenly... that's your bad!! Now fuck off before I kick you in the Spam Purse!!" She decided to flash her lights at me over and over while getting closer and closer to my rear bumper...AGAIN. I'm thinking she must not know 'bout me....bitch better ask somebody, cuz I dont play that shit!! So I yanked my parking brake for about 3 seconds, giving her a real shock because not only did my brake lights not come on, but the rear tires lock up, screech terribly, and the tires smoke. Oh I scared the living shit outta that woman!! Then I turned on my windshield sprayers, just to add insult to injury my getting her car wet...and drove off with a happy grin on my face. I looked in the mirror and she was stopped in the center median. With any luck she hit the cement wall. I know thats not a very nice thing to say...but the difference between me, and most other people, is if YOU cause the problem, and I am just minding my own business....and you get owned cuz you pissed me off....that's YOUR PROBLEM AND YOUR BAD and I dont feel sorry for you. As the fabulous Naysheen said: "You wanna throw words at me bitch? You better have a huge catcher's mit, cuz I'll throw em right back. I dont play that kinda ball...Game Over."
I know that's right.
That's all for now. It's only 9am, the day is young. >:-)
I hope you all have fabulous days... HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!
August 27, 2008
Sit down, shut up and here we go...
Hello Readers.
I am Andru and this is my Blog. Im going to start this with tell you a little about myself. I am currently 28 years old, and living in Camarillo, CA. I am a tall, hefty, homo with a loud mouth and a creative mind. Yes you read correctly...I said HOMO...as in Homosexual, Gay, Queer, Pole Smoker, Fudge Packer, Fairy, Queen, Mary, Sissy-La-La, friend of Dorothy, Fag, livin in the softer side of sears, limp wrist.....whatever you want to call it... THAT'S ME!!!
Deal with it or kick rocks. Some people say that sexual orientation should not be what defines you, I respectfully disagree. I think that the person that I am on the inside, the person who lives, loves, and makes decisions, has alot to do with my sexuality. It helped me to see things, and people differently. It molded me as a person in my 20's and helped me to realize what I am and am not willing to deal with in my life. So there ya go.
I also believe that who you are on the inside means nothing unless the goodness on the inside is brought out. That is what defines you. How you recover when you fall, how you treat people, and what you do with your life is what defines you. I also firmly believe in Karma. It will get you. It may take a long time, it may happen instantly, but Karma will get you. Karma also will give you the good things too....I've just noticed it takes a little longer for the good stuff.
I have an amazing roommate names Jessica who I love dearly, she is smart, funny, beautiful, determined, ambitious and probably the most genuinely good person you will ever meet. She doesnt have a malicious bone in her body. She is pure angelic goodness....and bitch can sing "Proud Mary" like a champ!
I have amazing friends, who I wouldnt be who I am now without. I Love you guys!!!
I also have a fun gig as an MC/Announcer for the Ventura County Derby Darlins'. A kick ass, full contact roller derby league. I can't even tell you how much I love that league, and those girls. I have made amazing friends that I cant imagine not having in my life. Plus the gig is FUN!!! I get to talk shit...AMPLIFIED. HA its so great. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I fail. EPICALLY. Stand up Comedians understand the feeling, no matter how good you are and hard to try, sometimes you get a tough crowd and BOMB. But I always seem to have fun and my derby girls love me at the end of the day so that's all I care about.
As far as work, Im fairly normal... 20 mile commute one way, sit at a desk for 8 hours or more, deal with customers, technicians, bosses, and installers. For private reasons, I am not going to divuldge where I work or specifically what I do...I signed a confidentiality agreement... but I will tell you this: My co-worker Hillary and I...have fun!
Sadly the money I make from work is just not enough, SO I'm on a mission to find ways to make more money. I Pet Sit on the side, which is both fun, and providing a helpful service, and pays fairly well, however I only really have one dedicated client, and they only need me about 3 to 4 times a year total. The frequency is not enough for me to able to really save any money. So I'm networking via MySpace and Craigslist putting my services out to the world, and I'm going to see what I get back. So far, I've gotten alot of support and well wishing....but no money. LOL SO...someone suggested to me that I should blog and thanks to advertisements and clicking of ads, I can make a little extra money here and there. FUN!!! So here I am. I love to write randomly so this is perfect!
I think this is enough of an introduction. I welcome questions, and suggestions and fun comments. I also welcome CONTRUCTIVE CRITICISM....if you wanna talk shit... oh I don't think so. You wanna throw words at me? Then you better have a huge catchers mit cuz I throw em right back. I don't play that kind of ball.....game over. ;-)
Take care people, I hope once I start blogging about the random things I see and experience, that you enjoy what you read and tell people about me!!! It would be great to be like Perez Hilton and be a super popular blog. I dont need the noteriety or the attention that queen craves, BUT he has a good gig, and I think he is wonderful and funny. So you go Perez!
Okay enough of this. I need to actually do some work while I'm at my desk. hahaha
PEACE OUT BITCHES!!!
xoxoxo
I am Andru and this is my Blog. Im going to start this with tell you a little about myself. I am currently 28 years old, and living in Camarillo, CA. I am a tall, hefty, homo with a loud mouth and a creative mind. Yes you read correctly...I said HOMO...as in Homosexual, Gay, Queer, Pole Smoker, Fudge Packer, Fairy, Queen, Mary, Sissy-La-La, friend of Dorothy, Fag, livin in the softer side of sears, limp wrist.....whatever you want to call it... THAT'S ME!!!
Deal with it or kick rocks. Some people say that sexual orientation should not be what defines you, I respectfully disagree. I think that the person that I am on the inside, the person who lives, loves, and makes decisions, has alot to do with my sexuality. It helped me to see things, and people differently. It molded me as a person in my 20's and helped me to realize what I am and am not willing to deal with in my life. So there ya go.
I also believe that who you are on the inside means nothing unless the goodness on the inside is brought out. That is what defines you. How you recover when you fall, how you treat people, and what you do with your life is what defines you. I also firmly believe in Karma. It will get you. It may take a long time, it may happen instantly, but Karma will get you. Karma also will give you the good things too....I've just noticed it takes a little longer for the good stuff.
I have an amazing roommate names Jessica who I love dearly, she is smart, funny, beautiful, determined, ambitious and probably the most genuinely good person you will ever meet. She doesnt have a malicious bone in her body. She is pure angelic goodness....and bitch can sing "Proud Mary" like a champ!
I have amazing friends, who I wouldnt be who I am now without. I Love you guys!!!
I also have a fun gig as an MC/Announcer for the Ventura County Derby Darlins'. A kick ass, full contact roller derby league. I can't even tell you how much I love that league, and those girls. I have made amazing friends that I cant imagine not having in my life. Plus the gig is FUN!!! I get to talk shit...AMPLIFIED. HA its so great. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I fail. EPICALLY. Stand up Comedians understand the feeling, no matter how good you are and hard to try, sometimes you get a tough crowd and BOMB. But I always seem to have fun and my derby girls love me at the end of the day so that's all I care about.
As far as work, Im fairly normal... 20 mile commute one way, sit at a desk for 8 hours or more, deal with customers, technicians, bosses, and installers. For private reasons, I am not going to divuldge where I work or specifically what I do...I signed a confidentiality agreement... but I will tell you this: My co-worker Hillary and I...have fun!
Sadly the money I make from work is just not enough, SO I'm on a mission to find ways to make more money. I Pet Sit on the side, which is both fun, and providing a helpful service, and pays fairly well, however I only really have one dedicated client, and they only need me about 3 to 4 times a year total. The frequency is not enough for me to able to really save any money. So I'm networking via MySpace and Craigslist putting my services out to the world, and I'm going to see what I get back. So far, I've gotten alot of support and well wishing....but no money. LOL SO...someone suggested to me that I should blog and thanks to advertisements and clicking of ads, I can make a little extra money here and there. FUN!!! So here I am. I love to write randomly so this is perfect!
I think this is enough of an introduction. I welcome questions, and suggestions and fun comments. I also welcome CONTRUCTIVE CRITICISM....if you wanna talk shit... oh I don't think so. You wanna throw words at me? Then you better have a huge catchers mit cuz I throw em right back. I don't play that kind of ball.....game over. ;-)
Take care people, I hope once I start blogging about the random things I see and experience, that you enjoy what you read and tell people about me!!! It would be great to be like Perez Hilton and be a super popular blog. I dont need the noteriety or the attention that queen craves, BUT he has a good gig, and I think he is wonderful and funny. So you go Perez!
Okay enough of this. I need to actually do some work while I'm at my desk. hahaha
PEACE OUT BITCHES!!!
xoxoxo
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