Douche-Baggery... the "WTF?" Douche

WTF??? as in what the fuck went through his mind when this appeared in the mirror?



Okay...now, because I believe in karma, I am going to start by saying, get a good look at his face. Once you get past the hair, the...overall appearance, he has a nice, handsome face. He is good looking....

Now let's begin:

What the hell possessed him to this? First of all, unless TRON was filmed on your head, there is no excuse for this look. Secondly, mohawks are meant to go UP, not 4 feet down over your face to your orange tanned pecs...see when that happens... its called having "bangs" you freak.
OH!! okay so check out miss thing. You know her name is something like Amber, Gretchen, or Misty...and she looks like she is thinking "omg I know you're like, SOOO jealous right now because this hot gay is all mine" when in reality I am thinking "You look like a tacky, over processed Jersey Whore. First of all, if you are going to rocks 3 or 4 different hair colors, you might want them to blend. You look like a freak. I have a friend who has a similar style, except my friend's is done RIGHT. The blond isn't crazy obvious, the red blends into the black, and there are no stupid tiger strips on her head. Hey Misty, you look like a fucktard slut, and your boyfriend looks like a Reject from a Panic at the Disco concert. Looks like he left his guy-liner at home.

I dont know which is worse, him, or her. Can you Imagine if they reproduced? First of all, they shouldn't be allowed to. HOWEVER, if they did, I think it would look like a goth ronald mc donald, same makeup, just darker shades, with the bad red hair. LOL

Oh well, unfortunately, these people are convinced that they look good, so those of us who know better, are stuck having to look at them. I figure since I am forced to see them, Im gonna comment on their existence. hahaha.

Douche Baggery: El Doucho Grande

Who the hell does this guy think he is?

I got this from a random myspace page...he has this picture in his album with a caption reading: "My & two fly dimez I picked up @ da club da nyte b4"

......*eye brow raises* Get a good look at his face. I have yet to find anything attractive about it. So Im questioning how two fairly attractive girls would even talk to, let alone be photographed with Frijole Doucherito here....so I dig a little. I see one of the girls in his friends list, go to her pictures....well whattya know...there's the picture... "Me, my sister, and my Uncle Nacho" yes...UNCLE. This douchebag wants his "tapOut" wearing, sideways hat sporting douchebag friends to think he is a playa-playa on vacation... little do they know they are his nieces. Im calling LaMigra. GET THIS FUCKTARD OUTTA THE COUNTRY AND CASTRATE HIM...that ugliness need not breed.

Thinking MAYBE "Uncle Nacho" is a nick name... I checked more of Miss Girl's pictures, and there is the Family photo... His name is Ignacio...of which Nacho...is a nickname. He is an Icestuous Douche and needs to be stopped.

This adds to my theory that anyone who wears "TapOut" gear, or puts "TapOut" stickers on their cars....are douchebags. Same for those ghetto ass "SoCal" star stickers on their cars too... DOUCHEBAGS.

Douche Baggery...the Freakshow

Are you fucking kidding me with this?

Is this thing Human? He is so offensive to look at, that I kinda want to kill him. Or at least beat him about the head with a blunt object. I don't understand why it is that people DESIRE to look like this. I think it is some kinda mental retardation. Is there a clinical term for this? Self Image Dismorphi-douchebaggia works for me.

I hate to say it but I actually hope this...creature....dies. Free will and what not allows him to disfigure himself is this way, but I would think that someone would draw a line somewhere. OH and who would sleep with this kind of Jersey Gutter White Trash?
I mean, yes there are those tacky jersey shores-whores who will sleep with anyone in a gold chain....but OH MY GOD...

I hope he gets hit by a car. Imagine the orange splattered everywhere.

Douche-Baggery: The Poser

What do you get when you take a scrawny, unattractive, Caucasian dork... throw on a shirt that wasn't even funny when the BLACK PERSON who came up with it, wore it...mix in a stupid hat, shove a cigar under the hat, put him in a party situation and give him alcohol...????

SURVEY SAYS................

DOUCHE BAG!!!
DOUCHE BAG!!!
DOUCHE BAG!!!

That's right...circle gets the square.

We are going to over look the orange colored Oompa Loompa skank twins...they are embarrassing themselves by showing their faces in public... but check this douche-jockey out.
WHY CANT DOUCHEBAGS SMILE IN A PICTURE???? I dont get it. And please dont tell me he thinks these girls actually WANT him? uhh PUBE CHECK...are you even out of Jr. High yet? You need to go thru puberty before you can even THINK about girls wanting your prepubescent ass. Those girls arent smiling because they like you, they are smiling because they are laughing at you. Even Oompa Loompa's know a douche when they see one.
OH!! and check out the wall paper and the party goers in the background...you know this kid is "partying" in white bible thumping middle america...trying to be all gangsta. I hope 3 black guys come along and bash this kids skull in for wearing that shirt.

*sigh* When will people learn that just because it looks good to YOU doesnt mean the world will agree.


....douchebags

Douche-Baggery

wooooooooooow. This is SUPREME Douchebaggery....he actually thinks he looks...HOT.




It's like he consulted the Douchebag Handbook, went right down the table of contents, and decided to rock every adouchrement listed.

--gravity defying hair
--mandana (which I have been known to rock for derby, but I dont look like a
douche, and I have pics to prove it)
--manicured facial pubes
--ripped "vintage" jeans
--designer (girl's?) belt
--wallet chain
--designer T-shirt
--tie with said T-shirt
--gold bling
--twin hand gestures

You can't tell from the pic, but I'd bet my house that he's got earrings and some "sweet" tats. Lets not over the look the tragic tranny lookin ax wound to his immediate left with the matching belt. Someone tell this bitch that A: the skirt looks stupid that low on your hip, and B: youre ugly, and C: how is it you made a skirt give you muffin top??? oh yeah CUZ YOURE A DOUCHEBAG TOO.

Douche-Baggery: A Closer Look Inside what makes a Douchebag.

Pay close attention as this is very informative. There are many kinds of DoucheBag. Male, Female, Fat, Skinny, all races, ages, religions (there is an abundance of douchebaggery when religion is involved).... This is one of the more noticeable and common forms of DoucheBag:



So remember, expect stupid, loud, faux-testoserone driven stupidity if you see this coming your way....unless you are in a gay bar, in which case, bust a bottle over this guys face cuz he is the GAY Douchebag...having dated many personally, I can tell you...these can be the worst.

Watch yourselves out there, and if you find yourself in the company of such Douche-Baggery.... be RARE. R.A.R.E:

R. RECOGNIZE: Be aware and identify the DoucheBag
A. ANNOUNCE : "EW...YOURE A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG"
R. ROLL : ...Your eyes at whatever stupid dumb jockish comeback he throws at you
E. EXIT : turn on your heels, flip that hair, and gets to steppin.


Follow this simple plan and you will soon be footloose and DoucheBag Free.

Douche-Baggery

Douche-Baggery is my favorite catagory on Andru's Adventures. I think of it as a community service. Because it happens more often than not that stupid actions and dumb ass pictures appear, and people think it makes them cool. It does not. Flashing "Westside" with your fingers when you are are scrawny pastey white 15 yr old computer geek from South Carolina...does NOT make you cool friend, it makes you look like a DOUCHEBAG. Ladies, when you take pictures of yourself half naked, from the "camera on the ceiling" angle...with porn hair and bad maybelline smeared on your face...then say things like "Im just normal, nothing special, I dont want people to think Im a whore"....you are a douchebag...and a whore. LOL If you dont want to be a __________ then dont make yourself look like a ____________. Fill in the blanks for yourself.

If you dont want people to think you are a racist KKK member or a biggot? THEN STOP REFERRING TO YOUR WHITE SELF AND ALL YOUR WHITE FRIENDS AS NIGGA AND STOP USING THE WORD "GAY" AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR "STUPID" OR "LAME". You dont want people to think you are a drunken whore?? THEN STOP GETTING DRUNK AND FUCKING RANDOM LOSER GUYS. You want people to talk to you and maybe flirt with you, or make friends? FUCKING SMILE AND WIPE THAT EMO TORTURED LOOK OFF YOUR FACE.

Well, alot of you are intelligent and understand the point I am making, but some of you may need visual confirmation of what Im talking about...which I understand, some things I need to learn visually, and its fun for me...so here you go.
I will give you an example of Douche-Baggery...and then explain.



DOUCHE-BAGGERY



I dont know whats worse....the tall skinny white "bro" wannabe (he would be the Douchebag in question) thinking he is sexy with his abs and bird chest, or the superman tattoo which MUST be a joke...cuz there is nothing super about him....
OR the two knock-kneed bad weave havin-hoodrats all drunk with their tall cans of OLD E. *sigh* They need to create a repellent spray or vaccine for this kind of douche-baggery.


Stay tuned for more Douche-Baggery in all its horrible forms.