DoucheBaggery

Do these people KNOW the world laughs at them?

I wish I could let them know. I really do.

Douche Baggery: Return of the Guido Douche

This photo tutorial makes it simple to know what to avoid. Never ever compliment these freaks, because there is nothing you can say to them that they dont already know...or have at least managed to convince themselves they are.



Did anyone else notice his bizarre webbed fingers? gross. He should keep his hands in his pockets...and he should NEVER use his penis...ever. This shouldn't ever be allowed to reproduce..or ever interact with children. The Guido Douche-baggery might spread.

Douche Baggery: The Inflate-a-Douche

Really??? He doesnt even look Human. looks like an orange painted RealDoll that was a mistake in the factory. The male figure somehow got lipstick, and J-Lo eye brows.

Someone Smack his momma for raising him to think this is acceptable. Look at him. WHY do these people think this is appealing?

what is wrong with them?

Douche Baggery: El Doucho Grande

Who the hell does this guy think he is?

I got this from a random myspace page...he has this picture in his album with a caption reading: "My & two fly dimez I picked up @ da club da nyte b4"

......*eye brow raises* Get a good look at his face. I have yet to find anything attractive about it. So Im questioning how two fairly attractive girls would even talk to, let alone be photographed with Frijole Doucherito here....so I dig a little. I see one of the girls in his friends list, go to her pictures....well whattya know...there's the picture... "Me, my sister, and my Uncle Nacho" yes...UNCLE. This douchebag wants his "tapOut" wearing, sideways hat sporting douchebag friends to think he is a playa-playa on vacation... little do they know they are his nieces. Im calling LaMigra. GET THIS FUCKTARD OUTTA THE COUNTRY AND CASTRATE HIM...that ugliness need not breed.

Thinking MAYBE "Uncle Nacho" is a nick name... I checked more of Miss Girl's pictures, and there is the Family photo... His name is Ignacio...of which Nacho...is a nickname. He is an Icestuous Douche and needs to be stopped.

This adds to my theory that anyone who wears "TapOut" gear, or puts "TapOut" stickers on their cars....are douchebags. Same for those ghetto ass "SoCal" star stickers on their cars too... DOUCHEBAGS.

Douche-Baggery: The Guido

Well, well, well...what have we here? Why its the Gui-douche!!

Found commonly on the east coast (I'm guessing Jersey as he looks like a Jersey Guido), this douchebag specimen is in rare form. Pay attention, this is classic douche baggery...the open shirt with the tacky gold chain, the drunk eyes, flushed skin, and cig hanging out of his mouth...CLASSIC douch trademarks....but he goes a few steps further, thus landing him on my list... The slicked back, greasy, yet still poofy hair, the pinky ring, and the pouty thing he doing with his lips... oh man...he's had practice!!

It doesn't help his case that the brunette looks like she is trying to escape his sweaty grasp, undoubtedly gagging on his Stetson Sierra cologne. And the poor Blonde girl...she is upclose and personal with this filth. His douche-baggery has him so completely self absorbed that he is worried more about the way he will look in the picture, than he is about damn near putting that Marlboro Ultra Light out in her eye.
Due to his epic failure at life...he was not able to accomplish either goal...its a bad picture and he is still gonna burn her retina.... speaking of the blonde...is it just me...or is that Jodie Sweetin from Full House....that girl looks JUST LIKE Stephanie Tanner. LOL Minus all the meth.

BEWARE the Guido-Douche...they are smooth talkers, and almost always know how to make anyone melt...this kind of trickery is what gets this douche laid, and we must put a stop to it. BECOME DECENT HUMAN BEINGS OR NO SEX!!!!

I should run for President and use that as my campaign slogan.

Douche-Baggery: The Poser

What do you get when you take a scrawny, unattractive, Caucasian dork... throw on a shirt that wasn't even funny when the BLACK PERSON who came up with it, wore it...mix in a stupid hat, shove a cigar under the hat, put him in a party situation and give him alcohol...????

SURVEY SAYS................

DOUCHE BAG!!!
DOUCHE BAG!!!
DOUCHE BAG!!!

That's right...circle gets the square.

We are going to over look the orange colored Oompa Loompa skank twins...they are embarrassing themselves by showing their faces in public... but check this douche-jockey out.
WHY CANT DOUCHEBAGS SMILE IN A PICTURE???? I dont get it. And please dont tell me he thinks these girls actually WANT him? uhh PUBE CHECK...are you even out of Jr. High yet? You need to go thru puberty before you can even THINK about girls wanting your prepubescent ass. Those girls arent smiling because they like you, they are smiling because they are laughing at you. Even Oompa Loompa's know a douche when they see one.
OH!! and check out the wall paper and the party goers in the background...you know this kid is "partying" in white bible thumping middle america...trying to be all gangsta. I hope 3 black guys come along and bash this kids skull in for wearing that shirt.

*sigh* When will people learn that just because it looks good to YOU doesnt mean the world will agree.


....douchebags

Douche-Baggery: Beware the Common Garden Variety Douche.

This particularly irritating Douche is the most commonly recognizable Douche. This is the fat, ugly loser who thinks he is punk rock hard core cuz of his Mandana under his DC hat...what he doesnt realize is that he is a total douche factory. First lets start with the UGLY FACE...would cracking a smile for a picture kill you? NOTE: YOU CAN DRESS LIKE A "BRO" AND GET AWAY WITH IT, IF YOU DONT DO THE MEAN FACE AND LOOK ANGRY ALL THE TIME....SMILE, BE GENUINE, AND DONT FLASH HAND GESTURES OR GROPE CHICKS INAPPROPRIATELY....

Moving on.... secondly...rocking two known "bro" brands on the shirt and the hat...shoes that you are a total douche poser because a REAL "bro" or person who started the look, wouldnt be impressed or care about the brand.
Third....really....BUDWEISSER? Could you look any lower class?
Also notice the poor posture...he is Neanderthalish in his existence, and the screen print on that shirt combined with his bad posture make him look like he has boobs...HAHA Moobs Bro. He looks like the kind of Douche who was the ugly duckling that never gained swan status so he was a total geek loser, then decided to get trashed at a party and change his look from normal mediocre...to ex-jock-douchebag.
This is the kind of person you refer to as "Chump Change" because that's all he will ever amount to.

Take a good look at this picture kids, cuz this is most common Douche Bag you will ever see....this fucktard is a dime a dozen, they crawl at bars like cockroaches.

BEWARE.