I'm back. like 10 minutes after the first post. ha.
I am filled with random knowledge and facts, and have decided to share. Cuz sharing is caring.
Lobsters: I don't understand why people fall all over themselves for lobster. It was originally a poor folks food. Back in the 19-god only knows when's, only the poorest of people ate lobster because is was the cheapest form of sea food you could get. Then some freak comes along, finds a way to make it more delicious, then sells it for a fortune...now we have this obsession with lobster being the top of the line dinner food.
I will have you know that the closest biological relative to the lobster...IS THE COCKROACH. You read that correctly. Ya know how in the feline family, there are lions, tigers, lynx, panthers, leopards, house cats, etc etc.... well the Lobster's closest genetic relative...is the commonly killed, disgusting cockroach. You just paid $29.99 to eat the cockroach of the sea.
Has it this ever happened to you? Someone is coming over to your home and you dont have time to freshen everything and you are worried your house isnt very fresh smelling? WELL, let me tell you, Febreeze is great and all, but it requires DRYING TIME. You dont want some hottie to lay on your bed and be "moistened" by your febreezed comforter or pillows. No No, they should be moistened cuz they want to make babies with you. haha
Simple easy solution...take your favorite perfume or cologne, and spray it once or twice on a COLD light bulb. Then turn the light on, as the bulb warms, the air will fill with the scent of your perfume or cologne. :-) BEWARE, if you spray it on a hot bulb, it will cause the bulb to burst. (learned that the hard way...almost electrocuted myself...could have died)
Why DO we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? No one has ever been able to answer that.
Why can't Miley Cyrus conduct herself with some class? She can Act like a normal fairly well spoken teen on T.V. why not in real life? In real life she is like a raspy voiced drunken redneck baboon. I'm embarrassed for her. I gotta give her props though, even though its statutory rape, her 21 yr old boyfriend....H.O.T. Not everyone will understand what I'm about to say...but here it is...I'm totally Team Selena. Fuck Miley.
I really REALLY don't like Mariah Carey. I used to love her! But all this new MiMi bullshit music thats just back tacky beats over back lyrics...I cant stand it. She needs to accept her age, accept that she isn't gonna look like she did when she was 20, stop making a fool of yourself. Again, I will give her props though, she married Nick Cannon...who, at least in my opinion, its fuckin hot. You take off the goofy over-sized clothes, and the wanna-be playa attitude, and he is tall, lean, worked out sexy chocolate.
Did you know that in Indonesia...masturbation can be punishable by decapitation?!?!?! Remind me never to go to Indonesia.
I absolutely cannot stand when people say "pacifically" instead of "specifically" OMG learn to speak...ignorant.
OK Im going to lunch now. L8R GATORS
March 4, 2009
.....no point, just blah blah blah-ing
hey hey peeps, what it is?
I have no subject for this blog, its just random. I am killing time while bored at work.
So...umm, yeah. I had a ham sandwich today...surprisingly very good considering I bought it on a whim at a nearby gas station. Weird. So I have been feeling strange lately. I find that I am not longer putting up with shit from anyone, anywhere, at anytime. If I dont like it, I walk away. I can't tell you how liberating that is. I am considerate of only those who are considerate of me.
I am also tired alot of the time. I think I need more sleep...or better sleep, I dunno.
what else...OH I have been very lax on my blogging. This is a direct result of my being so god damned tired all the time. I am also in a dry spell apparently. I have not been very witty or creative, or even motivated to find new douchebags, classy ladies, lolcats, or other such random topics to poke fun at, talk about, or just share. I havent even really heard enough new music to share.
I hope you all can understand that right now, with this economy, subject matter is hard to find. LOL
I have not abandoned my blog, or the efforts towards making money, Im just...fucking exhausted all the time! hahaha. I promise when I get a chance to rest, and I get some subject matter, you will be the first to know.
Lately I have been going gung-ho on my schooling. I need to finish a few classes, then Im enrolling in a University, and moving. I will love and miss my friends and family dearly, but I am fucking miserable in Camarillo, and can't get out fast enough. I need a change. My dear friend Jill told me "baby you are a big fish in a little pond, you need a new pond!" and after the initial shock of "was that a fat joke?" I realized, that I am not some super diva big playa who needs a big city, I just need a new city. New opportunities, new people, new places, new dating pool.... or in my case...ANY dating pool since the pool in Ventura County is about as deep as a puddle... I need all of these things and more. I need the education, I need to make real money and have a safe and secure career. I have out grown Ventura County, I have been everywhere, done everything there is to do, and met all the people I care to meet in Vta Cty. Im done. Im tapping out, and moving on.
SO thats the plan...hopefully, if I can get my ducks in a row, then by June or July...SAN DIEGO HERE I COME....and if it doesnt work out there, so be it, I can always come back, or go somewhere else!!! SAN FRANCISCO HERE I COME if S.D. doesnt work out hahaha.
I have options, and I can do anything I want to do, long as I put in the effort. Nothing will stop me.
and now I have to pee, so I bid you farewell for now. Ill probably be blogging in an hour or two...since it is THAT slow at work and I am THAT bored.
peace in the middle east, middle west, middle north, but not the middle south...fuck them.
haha
xoxoxoxo
Androoooooooooooo
I have no subject for this blog, its just random. I am killing time while bored at work.
So...umm, yeah. I had a ham sandwich today...surprisingly very good considering I bought it on a whim at a nearby gas station. Weird. So I have been feeling strange lately. I find that I am not longer putting up with shit from anyone, anywhere, at anytime. If I dont like it, I walk away. I can't tell you how liberating that is. I am considerate of only those who are considerate of me.
I am also tired alot of the time. I think I need more sleep...or better sleep, I dunno.
what else...OH I have been very lax on my blogging. This is a direct result of my being so god damned tired all the time. I am also in a dry spell apparently. I have not been very witty or creative, or even motivated to find new douchebags, classy ladies, lolcats, or other such random topics to poke fun at, talk about, or just share. I havent even really heard enough new music to share.
I hope you all can understand that right now, with this economy, subject matter is hard to find. LOL
I have not abandoned my blog, or the efforts towards making money, Im just...fucking exhausted all the time! hahaha. I promise when I get a chance to rest, and I get some subject matter, you will be the first to know.
Lately I have been going gung-ho on my schooling. I need to finish a few classes, then Im enrolling in a University, and moving. I will love and miss my friends and family dearly, but I am fucking miserable in Camarillo, and can't get out fast enough. I need a change. My dear friend Jill told me "baby you are a big fish in a little pond, you need a new pond!" and after the initial shock of "was that a fat joke?" I realized, that I am not some super diva big playa who needs a big city, I just need a new city. New opportunities, new people, new places, new dating pool.... or in my case...ANY dating pool since the pool in Ventura County is about as deep as a puddle... I need all of these things and more. I need the education, I need to make real money and have a safe and secure career. I have out grown Ventura County, I have been everywhere, done everything there is to do, and met all the people I care to meet in Vta Cty. Im done. Im tapping out, and moving on.
SO thats the plan...hopefully, if I can get my ducks in a row, then by June or July...SAN DIEGO HERE I COME....and if it doesnt work out there, so be it, I can always come back, or go somewhere else!!! SAN FRANCISCO HERE I COME if S.D. doesnt work out hahaha.
I have options, and I can do anything I want to do, long as I put in the effort. Nothing will stop me.
and now I have to pee, so I bid you farewell for now. Ill probably be blogging in an hour or two...since it is THAT slow at work and I am THAT bored.
peace in the middle east, middle west, middle north, but not the middle south...fuck them.
haha
xoxoxoxo
Androoooooooooooo
March 3, 2009
Fuck my life.com strikes again!! hahaha
Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
March 2, 2009
Funny!!!
This is the funniest thing I've read all day! My facebook friend Jason...whom I refer to as my facebook friend because I dont actually KNOW him in person, he thought I was cute, so he befriended me via facebook...and I accepted...cuz he is a looker too...but I was forced to "accept" him as a friend because he is married to a guy whom he loves...and Im not one to home wreck...nor do I think I am nearly cute enough to even try...i digress... Jason is my friend and he is funny and he rocks....
He put this on his "status update" and it cracked my shit up.
"Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died.The problem was getting him in the coffin.They put his left leg in.Then the problems started."
Brilliant.
He put this on his "status update" and it cracked my shit up.
"Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died.The problem was getting him in the coffin.They put his left leg in.Then the problems started."
Brilliant.
OMG LMAO FUCK MY LIFE!!!
Okay so my dear friend Katie told me about this website. Its fucking hilarious.
Its called "Fuck My Life" and it's just people posting small stories about their really bad days. I have to tell you, it makes me feel so much better. It's fmylife.com
Here is a sample, I will be reading through the site and posting the ones I think are funniest.
"Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML"
Its called "Fuck My Life" and it's just people posting small stories about their really bad days. I have to tell you, it makes me feel so much better. It's fmylife.com
Here is a sample, I will be reading through the site and posting the ones I think are funniest.
"Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML"
February 25, 2009
Classy Ladies
Hi, I'm Loretta Hinkle
I'm a waitress at the local truck stop, and I like to party! Im always havin people over for some beers and good times. I like my country music loud and proud. People round these parts always say "oh that Loretta, you can hear the kid rock blastin out of her datsun from a block away...oh she's crazy like that."
I'm one of a kind, and Im looking for someone who is low maintenance...Im on my feet all day, and I dont need to wait on you when i get home. I think my perfect guy would be a truck driver, cuz our career paths are similar and because how wont be home much. I live in a camper parked next to my sister's duplex, so its cozy, but after a while, two people in there feels like two possums in a potato sack. So calling all truck drivers, playful spark plug red head lookin fer luvin.
I'm a waitress at the local truck stop, and I like to party! Im always havin people over for some beers and good times. I like my country music loud and proud. People round these parts always say "oh that Loretta, you can hear the kid rock blastin out of her datsun from a block away...oh she's crazy like that."
I'm one of a kind, and Im looking for someone who is low maintenance...Im on my feet all day, and I dont need to wait on you when i get home. I think my perfect guy would be a truck driver, cuz our career paths are similar and because how wont be home much. I live in a camper parked next to my sister's duplex, so its cozy, but after a while, two people in there feels like two possums in a potato sack. So calling all truck drivers, playful spark plug red head lookin fer luvin.
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