Actual Work Conversation

Bitch Customer: "I don't know where you people went to air conditioning school, or where you learned to like....do your job...but you need to go back becuuuuuzz that guy who was here earlier, didn't know what he was doing, I mean how hard is it to change a filter?"

Andru: "Air conditioning school? ok. I'll get right on that, and as far as the filter...do YOU know how to change the filter?"

Bitch: "tsk... thats not the point"

Andru: "yeah, thats means no, ok so I don't think its very conducive to the situation for you to question the ability of my technician, to do his job, when you know nothing about it. OH and as far as what he is doing today, he isn't changing a filter, he is installing a circuit board, and a thermostat, and checking the charge in your system. It's just a tad bit more complicated than putting in a new filter. Have a nice day."

*click*

Actual Work Conversation

Steve: "Hey Buddy, how was your trip?"

Andru: "Fine thanks."

Steve: "Did it hurt?"

Andru: "Did what hurt?"

Steve: "Your trip...when you tripped and fell hahahaha"

Andru: ".........*click*"


5 minutes later...

*phone rings*

Andru: "This is Andru"

Steve: "hahahah well did it hurt?"

Andru: "I dunno Steve, did it hurt when you fell face first out of the Ugly tree?"

Steve: "...good one. Im heading to lunch."

Andru: "ok... avoid mirrors."




This has been another, actual work conversation.

Actual Work Conversation

Tom: "I'm back from lunch."

Andru: "Ew, Tom Hilary was flirting with a service tech on the phone, can I file a complaint?"

Tom: "Sure, what's your complaint?"

Andru: "Well, politically I'm ok with the hetero lifestyle, but to see if right in front of my face, its just plain sick."

Tom: ".....heh heh, good one."


This has been another actual work conversation

Actual Work Conversation

Andru: *phone rings....no one answers...so I do* "--my company name-- Heating and Air, how can I help you?"

Caller: "uhh...who is this?"

Andru: ".....this is --my company name-- heating and air"

Caller: "...is this --my company name--??"

Andru: "*sigh* yes."

Caller: "do you service heaters?"

Andru: "...really?"

Caller: "I mean like do you fix heating systems?"

Andru: ".................*click*"



This has been another Actual Work Conversation

Actual Work Conversation

Andru: *cough*
Tom (boss): "No Coughing"
Andru: "...um...ok"

*****5 minutes later*****

Tom (boss): *clears throat*
Andru: "No throat clearing"
Tom (boss): "shut up"
Andru: "Don't make me write you up Tom."
Tom (boss): ".....sorry, won't happen again."
Andru: "Let's hope not."





This has been an Actual Work Conversation

Actual Work Conversation

Serg: "Andru, I'm running ahead of schedule..."
Andru: "...ok. Did you want a cookie or something?"
Serg: "hahaha no man Im cool...so for the next call...can I come early?"
Andru: "Serg, if your wife has been okay with it for this long, I'm sure the customer will be fine with it."
Serg: "hahaha well you dont know what youre talking about, Im the latin stallion."
Andru: "Yet you have no kids....ya know they used to shoot stallions who couldn't be bred."
Serg: "Trust me, I do the 'shooting'"
Andru: "......ew."


This has been another, Actual Work Conversation

Actual Work Conversation #2 (double header)

(sales guy who I've talked to many times, named Mike G.)

Mike G: "Whats up Andru?"

Me: "Not much Mike, just kickin back with my mai tai poolside..."

Mike G: "NICE!! I didnt know you have the office phone calls forwarded...do you have a pool at home?"

Me: "........*blink*.....not very bright are you Mike.... OH I hear you have a myspace page?"

Mike G: "yeah bro, its myspace.com/******* check it out real quick I can hold."

Me: "um, ok....**checking website, reading profile**... ok saw it."

Mike G: "cool, hey can you help me with something?"

Me: "Nope, I can't."

Mike G: "Why not?"

Me: "because according to your myspace page, you are a self described 'vaginatarian' and that sickens me cuz you aren;t even good looking enough to pull off such a joke without it being offensive...or even it being very believable."

Mike G: "....uhh...haha are you serious bro??? hahaha"

Me: "I'm sorry...what was that? I dont speak Pig...you should call back and ask for a translator. See ya."




*click*









This has been an actual work conversation.

Actual Work Conversation

Steve: "Alright, please put me at 'no more calls' for the day..."

Me: "who are you trying to kid Steve, no one WANTS to call you...we are required to cuz it's our job."

Steve: "...ouch, thanks Andru"

Me: "You're welcome! kisses." *Click*







This has been an actual work conversation.

Actual Work Conversation

Hillary (co worker): "Ya know those people who are always happy and perky and always want you to be happy with them for stupid reasons like 'the sun in shining' and stuff?"


Me: "Yes, we can them losers."





This has been an actual work conversation.

Actual Work Conversation

Me: "Howard it's Andru, I'm adding a call to your route."

Howard: "Okay, what's the situation?"

Me: "She's brainless...I suggested we UNinstall the AC unit because she isn't smart enough to use it."

Howard: "I see... did she go for that idea? *chuckle chuckle*"

Me: "Sadly No, but we need to check out her thermostat cuz she is crazy and cant figure out how to make it stop blinking."

Howard: "How crazy... like Courtney Love Crazy??"

Me: "Oh no not that bad...more like Anna Nicole Smith crazy...ya know...the engine's running but no one is behind the wheel."

Howard: "Got it...lemme write this down.....speak.....slowly.....to......c-u-s-t-o-m-e-r. OK on my way!"







This has been an Actual Work Conversation

Actual Work Conversation

Steve: Hey Andru, could you tell me if Mike is in route to the Greenburg property?

Me: Sure..*starts typing* ...hey Steve, would you like a piece of gum........PLEASE.

Steve: hahaha why does my breath stink?

Me: No...its worse than that. Its passed stink and moved on to rotting stench. It's like sour milk, cigar smoke, and a dead Pomeranian....




This has been....an actual work conversation.

Actual Work Conversation

ME: "What are you doing?"

SHEET METAL GUY: "Praying for a woman to want me."

Me: "......ew."




This has been an actual work conversation

Actual Work Conversation

(NOTE: for confidentiality reasons, I will be using a fake name for my place of business)


*phone rings*

ME: "Holy Jeebus Heating and Air...how can I help you?"

CALLER: "Um...Hi, is this Holy Jeebus Heating and Air??"

ME: ".....um, yeah?"

CALLER: " okay good...do you service air conditioners?"

ME: "......*rolls eyes*...lemme check, hold please."





People are so fucking simple sometimes.

THIS HAS BEEN AN ACTUAL WORK CONVERSATION