Updates, Daddy Button, and the "new"car

Hello people,

I know, I know, I have forsaken you. I haven't blogged in 7 months. Im a terrible person. hahaha

Okay whatever, you'll get over it. OKAY... so I have a few things I want to share, some topics to discuss, and updates to be..well...updated.

Sit down and shut up and here we go:

Since My last post about stupid bitches christmas shopping and wanting a new car...here is what happened. None of my beautifully laid plans worked. I wasnt able to get the car because my credit wasnt high enough STILL... because of my credit cards. Well, Lesson learned. Instead of fighting a losing battle, and trying to make 5 dollars out of 20 cents, I decided to through my hands up in the air sometimes, sayin AAAYOOOOO BANKRUPTCEEEEYYYOOOOOO Thats right. Fuck my bills, fuck the companies I owe money to and their high interest rates and their shady back alley abortions they call "deals" fuck them all!!! I ain't payin you shit, and if they keep calling me, they are going to end up PAYING ME!!! This is why I love my bankruptcy attorney. PEOPLE, IF YOU EVER FILE BANKRUPTCY, GET A LAYWER. ITS WORTH IT.

Well in the past 7 months, I dated someone that meant the world to me, Tai, but sadly he needs to fix his life, and as much as I would like to help him and be his hero, he won't let me, he needs to do this on his own. So I ended it with him, so as not to make things any harder for him. It sucks. I miss him everyday. But we are friends so I guess that's good? Whatever, obviously it wasnt meant to be. I still Love S, but he is still super far away, and as he gets older, he is pulling away, he even told me he wants to pull away... maybe I should let him go? I dont know, we arent in a relationship, but we CRAVE each other...its strange.

I love him though. :)

OH back to the bankruptcy, I had to surrender my car because Im claiming it in my BK... weeelllllll I now have a 16 yr old sedan. I wanted a new Scion XB, but now have a 95 Honda Accord. Its cute, and it runs really well, and it will do for now....but I feel... I dont know. Poor. I mean, I AM poor, but I feel embarrassed to be in my car. Its a feeling I am not familiar with. Oh well. Its a necessary step to get ahead. Once my bankruptcy is discharged, I can start with some small things, like ONE credit card that I will only use for one tank of gas a month, then pay it off every month, for a couple of months, that should get the credit up, then I will go for a car. It all depends too, on where I am as far as income. I make shitty money. Lately I have been HATING my job. Im sick of stupid people calling me, Im sick of making crumbs, with nothing to show for it except bankruptcy, and Im sick of being a fucking TEMP. I've been here almost a year, and Im still a temp. This is ridiculous. I'm over it. Im looking for a new job but the job market SSSSUUUUCCCCKKKKSSSS, so what can I do? I hate this feeling. I feel trapped in misery. Its like when I was forced to spend summers w ith my dad. I loved my dad, and doing things with my dad, but my stepmother wasnt pleasant during my childhood, I hated the heat in Fresno in the summer, and my dad worked alot, so it's not like I spent tons of time with him. I was trapped in a situation, that I didnt want to be in. Just like my car, my job and the heat in the summer. I hate heat.

I still want to move to Seattle. Where the sun shines but doesn't burn you to a crisp.

SO, in regards to the "Daddy Button" Let me explain: For gay men and straight women, we become attracted to older men, sometimes...much older...and we want them to take control of us, (within reason) That older, sexy man that makes you say "ooohh.. daddy" yes well I have been experiencing this a lot lately, and I don't know what it is, but Its made for good fap-worthy evenings. TMI I know, but whatever don't act like you dont do it too.

Currently, the celebs that hit my daddy button are:

Stanley Tucci. Something about that voice, those big pecs, and the bald head just.....oooooo gets me.

Christopher Meloni. Dear. God. Meloni. He is... just.... blue collar, blue eyes, rough ridin, tie me up and use me FINE. The man makes me moist.

Leiv Shreiber. OMG with the fangs and the facial scruff, growling as Sabertooth... sweet jesus I almost fainted. I had no idea he was that hot.

Those are top 3. DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF There many dilfs in my head. Mario Lopez, Pete Wentz, Hugh Jackman, David Beckham, Boris Kodjoe.... cuz dad's are hot sometimes.

In other hot guy news... I think Im in full blown celebrity crush love with:
Darren Criss
&
Zachary Quinto

Love, Love, Love them.

okay I think Im done for now. PEACE OUT BITCHES