Another Book Idea...

Okay people, I've decided that I am going to write a cook book. Im so tired of these "Naturally Skinny" types trying to get everyone thin... ya know what america... there will ALWAYS be FAT PEOPLE. GET OVER IT.

Im gonna write a cook book of delicious traditional cooking for people who eat.

Title has already been chosen, and no offense, im not sharing it yet, because it's good and I dont want to risk some random reader coming along and stealing the idea.

:-)

This book will include party tips, hosting ideas, decoration ideas, as well as the recipes....

there will be soul food, italian, mexican, sushi, desserts, and fusion recipes.

Im so excited I could pee.

Thank you Google

I guess I have to start over. Jerks.

Peace of Mind?

All seems to be well in my world at them moment...aside from the usual Hidradenitis Suppurativa drama... But this sense of calm is a nice change from the usual trainwreck I live in. Another week has ended and a new one shall begin. The sad thing is, as much as I am enjoying this "all's well" feeling, I am terrified of it as well, because every time I feel like Im on even ground, the bottom drops out, and shit hits the fan again.

I am doing my best to think positively, and makes plans for a better future. Its tough but I am gonna do it, even if it ends up being shit, I am gonna find a way to make the best of it and kick some ass in the process!!

I have also begun brainstorming for my second book. I have already begun writing it, about a year ago LOL but I hit a road block and havent looked back since. I am slowly feeling the drive to write again, thanks to forcing myself to get back into this blog. I have some ideas for a fiction novel as well... a slightly more reality-based version of a romance novel....and a novel about how my life SHOULD have gone. LOL

We will see. I have many many things I would like to do and accomplish, so wish me luck and send your love!

On a more personal note:
Jill, Fallon, Sergi: I love you <3

Fallon: I am so excited about your growing eggs!
Jill: We are SERIOUSLY overdue for a roadtrip. I say we pack up one of the cars, grab some slurpees and beef jerky, and the three of us (cuz Justin is totally welcome) hit the road.
Sergi: Plans are constantly fluctuating, but I am doing my best to make a trip to come visit.

Vixey: Thank you for still reading and clicking the ads and commenting! Hope all is well in Sri Lanka! EAT SOMETHING, YOURE TOO DAMN SKINNY!!! hahahahahahaha

Crap...

Okay, so I have a situation that I don't want to talk about in detail, but I will say this... I made a mistake, and now its come back to bite me in the ass... I need to go deal with this tomorrow...but if turns out the way I think its gonna turn out...heads will ROLL.

OMG youre gonna die...

laughing....when you watch my friend Jason and I playing "Just Dance" on Wii. My friend Jason, Arty and Drew and I decided to spend a weekend at Arty's family's beach house in Pacific Beach, CA and when we started drinking, they thought it would be a fun idea to play this dancing game. Well I heard Tina Turner and was IN. They thought it would be HYSTERICAL if I wore a wig so it would be all Tina-licious. As you will see in the video, my fat ass got too damn hot wearing that wig and it came flyin off.

Anyway...ENJOY! (god I hope this goes viral... maybe I will get a chance to go on Tosh.0 and meet that yummy dork Daniel Tosh!)

****Apparently the link won't work.... COPY AND PASTE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7FuqinYdaY&feature=share

In other news...

enough of my bitching about my home life. I am sick to death of being stressed out about shit all the time. I hate it. I HATE it.

Im trying to think of something positive and frankly I can't think of anything. I hate when this happens...when there is SO MUCH bad in your life that you are physically incapable of finding good. I am stressed at work, unahppy at home, still single, still broke, still struggling, still waiting for financial aid to pull their heads out of their asses and give me my fucking check! Im still dealing with family drama revolving around the holidays, Im still in constant unrelenting excrutiating pain every second of every day thanks to Hidradenitis Suppurative... FUCK MY LIFE. I wish there was a reset button. The good things I have in my life are far away. ALWAYS...the good stuff is always out of reach. I swear I am god's personal joke. He LOVES to watch me suffer. All I get is a hard time. Well I n ow no longer believe in god. fuck god. fuck religion...its all wrong anyway. Prayers have never done anything for me, Ive prayed and prayed and prayed all my life...and ya know what...either God doesnt give a shit, or there is NO GOD. Its kind of stupid to believe in something that we have no rock solid proof even exists. It would be like be starting a religion based on the existance and teachings of the "Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Man" I mean, we was giant and in a movie...so whose to say he wasnt our savior? yeah... thats how ridiculous "god" and religion sounds to me.

So I quit on God. He was never there for me, and now I walk away from faith. I have nothing to have faith in.

Some people will find this offensive (get over it) some people will find this sad (get over it) but ya know...this actually makes me feel better. It makes me feel more independent and less like a forgotten child who just wants to be heard and helped....no... now I am able to let go of fantasy...and move into reality. Who would have thought that letting go of this lie we've been fed since birth would actually make me feel BETTER!?!?

And now Im smiling for the first time all day.... awesome :-)

Sad Realization

Its sad sad day when you realize that you are the only person you can depend on. I can't depend on my roommate anymore. There is always some excuse or reason why she couldn't get to the bank to pay me for the utilities, or couldnt deposit the rent check, or why her check bounced... Im done. When I get my financial aid check, I am moving into my own place. Probably some hole in the wall ghetto studio in a dangerous part of town, since thats what I can afford... but whatever. My rental history and my credit with Cox Cable, the Water company, and SDG&E have been compromised and ruined because of my roommates poor judgement and lack of concern for due dates of bills. I am no longer willing to accecpt this. Also, her damn dog, that I used to adore but now am mearly tolerating... has ruined out home. The entire first floor spells like piss. Sancho is a neurotic fuck of a dog. When the new neighbors moved in, with their loud barking dog, Sancho freaked out and now refuses to go to bathroom in the back yard like he used to. So he HOLDS IT. Now he is peeing and shitting in the house. This is unacceptable to me... Im about ready to kill his stupid ass. I just leave him in the back yard when Im home because I dont want to deal with him. I feel terrible because he is a sweet loving dog, but damnit, i didnt want him!! I wanted a little dog, a pug puppy that I would have from puppy-hood that could be trained. SHE HAD TO BRING SANCHO HOME..... I had no say in the matter. Well guess what... If I move and she stays, she is paying me my part of the deposit in full, because I'm not having my part of the deposit deducted because of the damage caused by HER dog. I think however that the deposit was written out by me, so the money should come back to me...so if she moves out when I move out, then I get whatever's left of the deposit anyway. I THEN WILL DEDUCT cuz Im not having it.

I never thought this would happen. She was always so responsible, until this year. I am fed up and over this whole living situation. Done.